What age to you beleive is right to start using discipline with your child?

Question

I believe that as early as a few months...this is different of course than for a child of 1 or more years...but discipline never the less. For example, when our babies had been fed changed, cleaned, gotten attention and played and there was nothing wrong with them and yet they cried...we put them in their crib and let them cry themselves to sleep...this only took a couple minutes because they were tired..which is why they were crying. So for you..what do you beleive is the right age...weather you have children yet or not or weather your children have reached that age or not? Also...at that age you believe is right...please give an example of what you do, did or will do?

Answer 1

I think basic discipline is great at a few months!  I would never spank a child, but i think a firm tap (not enough to hurt, but enough to know that what they did was wrong) on the bum is ok, just as long as they are three or older: only tap when the child is acting out BADLY! never tap to vent your emotions.  i find that instead of yelling, go really quiet: the kids get scared,and they listen intently.  whispering is a lot easier to do than yell, and it makes the kids calm down right away.  i babysit, but have NOT TAPPED a child.  my mom did all this to me and my sister.  she never called it spanking, or hitting: you think of it as abuse that way, and you DON'T want a child to say mommy hit me.  My mom called it tapping.  and when she whispered, you HAVE to listen, and getting quiet for the kids automatically calms everyone down.  i think yelling and spanking (HARD) is wrong to do as a babysitter, but as a parent, if this is what you need to do, then do it.  Only spank if it is the last thing to do.  i don;t think it abusive, as long as you are doing it to repriimand a child, and not vent your anger out.  Usually my mom would do this (Think of a sibling hitting another sibling)

1st time. tell us not to do it, and appologize, hug/kiss sibling

2nd.  if we did it(whatever wrongful action it was) she would tell us that what we did was wrong, and that we must never do it again...or something to that effect (depending what we did) again, apologize, hug/kiss

3. Firm talking to and time out (age=number of minutes in time out:  everytime we left before it was over, time out started again)

4.  Longer time out (usually two minutes longer)

5. Whisper (f yelled at)  and another firm talking to

6. take priveleges away

7. tap

As a babysitter, i will not tap a child EVER: I don;t think it's my job to do so.  i also have never yelled, but i have whispered, and kids do exactly as i say.  they listen, and they get a little scared because they know it's their last chance beofre i call mom (scaring them is not good, but still: it's less scary than yelling).  i babysit one girl who yells at me a lot.  i tell her to quiet down, or i will not listen to her until she stops yelling.  i leave the room.  she gets the idea.  whispering also brings everyone down calmly, and it also helps you comunicate non verbally really well (eyes, expression, and tone that you don't get through yelling).  Also, the neighbours can't hear! and you won't feel guilty about it later.  you also don't have a sore throat. i find that the eyes and expression really help a lot:i get my point across both verbally and non verbally.  you don't have to say "Or else" when you use your eyes and tone well/  good luck!  i think that by age four, they should know the difference between right and wrong.  i think the hardest thing (and probably the most common offence) would be swearing.  they don't know that it's wrong.  use the steps above. also, lead by example.  that's the best way to learn.  got a frequent tantrum thrower?  best way to stop it is to get hubby/babysitter/friends to join in and all throw tantrums and yell:  the kid shuts up right away, and will never throw a tantrum again: worked on my sister, me, and a whold bunch of other people.  Plus, it's fun for you guys to!  just do it in your own home, not a public place.  The child realizes how stupid they look (when everone throws a tantrum). i think this is the best tantrum cure ever.  all my friends moms used it, and they always tell us that that was the last tantrum we ever threw!  good luck!  i know it's long, sorry!  maybe i should write a book....?

Answer 2

I started dicipline from birth with my children..   I.E. If they tangled their hand in my hair when I was holding them I would gently remove the hair from their hand while saying "We don;t pull hair."   If they were changed, fed, burped etc. and still fussy I let them fuss it out in their crib (Checking on them every 5-10 minutes...  Rechecking feeding, changing and burbing at 30 minute intervals if they lasted that long)... They were usually asleep within a few minutes and it doesn't harm a baby to fuss for a few minutes....

It's never too early to start getting your child used to the rules... Even when they can't understand what you are saying ("We don't pull hair.). your accompanying action (Gently removing the hair from their hand) can often start to enforce  the rule...  

I also never used "baby talk" with my children I figure I wanted them to learn english the best way to accomplish the task was to speak to them in english so they were immersed in the language from day 1...      If I wanted them to speak  "baby talk" I would have used that language when talking to them and eventually with them when they learned the ability....