What age would you let your child start dating?

Question

My 11yr old asked me this question, all i said was when i feel the time is right, but your way too young now. So am curious how other parents feel.

Answer 1

My mom let me go on dates as long as an adult was there at 12. I had boyfriends when I was 10

Answer 2

I think 16 is an appropriate age, she might feel like "everyone is dating but her" but that is no true, the longer you wait to be "of dating age" the more people will want to date you, it shows you have morals and values, kids need to be comfortable with themselves and comfortable with talking to their parents before they start opening up to another person, 16 is the perfect age, not too long and not too sooon

Answer 3

this won't be a case of "letting them" it will happen when it happens, i'm guessing in a week or so he or she will be going into comprehensive. They will be gaining interest in the other s*x VERY soon, and you just need to support them through it. Whatever you do, don't ban them from dating, they will do it anyways, just behind your back, and they will feel as though they cannot come to you for advice.

Answer 4

I'm not a parent personally, but my dad allowed me to start dating when I was 16.  I feel like that's a fair age.

Answer 5

I find this quite insulting. Your young person is a human being - an individual and they need to chose for themselves when they want to start dating.  

I also think your young person is quite interested in having a heart to heart with you.  They may not want to start dating but they have more questions to ask - maybe a friend of theirs has met someone and s/he has a few questions to ask you.

Dont cut them off with your opinions, ask more questions - see if they want to know more - its a perfect opportunity to have a parent/child chat about growing up and what it was like when you were young!

Answer 6

I had boyfriends in primary school. It isn't like it is serious is it. You shouldn't stop them dating, it is a part of growing up and socialising. I know it sounds young but it isn't the same kind of dating that adults do. If you deny them the right to date, when they are eventually allowed they will take advantage of it.

Obviously when they are old enough they need the safe s*x talk but everyone is different. Some parents won't have this talk with their children till they are legally old enough while other parents realise that the world isn't perfect and will tell them when they are younger. Some people think that having such talks too earlier can promote s*x. But i say that they should be told everything when they are young teens and then if it does promote s*x at least it is safe s*x.

Answer 7

When they start secondary school i supppose

Answer 8

I myself Is not a parent but, if i had one, I'd let them date at the age of 13 but no, s*x,alcohol, drugs and any of the bad stuff.My dad would let me anytime but I have to be careful, but on the other had my Mum says that education first then whenI hva a house and everything i need i can start dating. Firstly i think that's pure sh*t, she wants me to date when i'm 27 years old!?

I think you did the right thing, but you need to let your 11 year old have freedom before she/he thinks that you don't care about she/his personal needs. Give him time to think about it and maybe lessons about thing like what drugs and smoking can do to your body. Just incase talk to him about condoms as well, trust me my big brother desperately neededto talk about that to my sister.

P.S- even if you say no to them she/he is gonna do it "secretly" then, probably realise that you werre right after all.

Goodluck. :)

Answer 9

my parents never gave me an age you just naturally develop and start wanting that relationship.  

Answer 10

I am not a parent, but I was allowed to date at 16.  That seems to be the right age.  People have licenses by then and jobs.  That's kind of the only way kids can date- that or they are too young asking mommy for some date money...  See how silly that sounds?

Answer 11

11 is quite a fair age. As long as its not a big, commited relationship at this age, (16 is probably a better age for that)

As long as the people are in it are happy, its fine. It might even be a bit of fun, and a good bit of experience.

Hope everything goes okay :)

Answer 12

15 maybe depends on the guy... if you 11 year old came home with a sweet boy with some sense let her have a few small dates under supervision. But at 15 they're free I mean no s*x, drugs, alkahol, and what not but let them go to the movies!  

Answer 13

It may prove academic.

At some stage she will probably start without your knowledge.

Answer 14

Sixteen is a common age parents pick I believe.

Answer 15

they are gonna do it anyways.a parent will say 16 they do it at 12.i think its a good time.thats when you start to go through puberty.its nothing serious maybe a month then they break up.i knew two people who went out from grade 4 to 7. when they feel ready weather they are 12 or 20.

Answer 16

my parents let me date first when i was 16yrs old and it worked :) i got into way less trouble cuz i didnt have a bf and could focus on my school work not to mention way less drama

Answer 17

well they're going to date whether you like it or not and they are more than likely not going to tell you if they are dating someone so it doesn't really matter...i'm in my teens but if i had a kid, i'd let them date when they go into secondary school/high school.

Answer 18

I think 13 is a fair age. That's when all that stuff starts happening anyway. Just make sure they're safe and kept an eye on. If you try to discourage it or stop it altogether they are more likely to rebel and go against your wishes

Answer 19

I always likes the thought that even as children, they have a right to there freedom of dating, It's one big thing that will help shape who they are going to be later in life. && it helps independence.

I would let my child as soon as s/he has some kind of interest at all in dating. They belong in the real world, just as much as us a little bit older.

Let them Have a Life!! all in all, it makes them a better person too, if you trust them, they trust you. (I've learned)

Answer 20

Not until 16, and then only in groups until things are looking pretty serious!

Answer 21

i think you should let the decision be up to her. im 15 now and i didnt start dating till about three months ago (I was 14 at that time). but the main thing for me was waiting until i was ready and until i found a guy who i really liked and had the same feelings for me. so just let your child do it when he/she feels ready and finds someone who he/she really likes.

Answer 22

I would allow dating after they turn 16. It cannot be anything serious, only dates here and there, say they go to a school dance, school events, etc. I would not allow them to have a relationship until they graduate High School and is entering College. I was able to wait until then I'm sure it shouldn't be hard for them to do the same. I have a boy and a girl, I hope they would abide with my morals and ways of thinking, it is a bit traditional but it is for their own good.

Answer 23

Hi,

I use to have 'boyfriends' at 11. It didn't mean anything, we just use to hold hands and share kisses but nothing else.

I then become to be 13 and in high school and everyone was discussing s*x and sadly I lost my virginity at this age to an 18 year old boy!

I now feel girls are trying to grow up too fast and I would go with whichever decision you feel is right.

I regret losing my virginity so early on. I wish I had waited.

I feel 16 is a good age for dating as that way you can get all your studies done and are legal age to have s*x if you want to go that far.

Lx  

Answer 24

it just happens. u also have to be a little open because if you stop him from doing something then he's gonna do it behide your back.

Answer 25

13! Best way because when they get to teenage year (13-19) they will probably understand more!

Answer 26

I think 11 years old is fine if it were to be chaperoned by an adult. in other words a movie where the adult can sit in the back and just keep an eye on things. As you learn to let go and you see how responsible your child is then you can ease up a bit and maybe go the route of dropping off and picking up with the understanding of where they will be and what you expect out of them. By the age of 14 or 15 they will be dating by themselves weather you want them to or not.

The best thing you can do is to teach your child how to be responsible. Talk to him/her and make sure that they understand the consequences of pre marital s*x ( I know this is a hard one, and you have to gage when you have this talk, as a parent you will know) Be honest with them and let them know that you're their for them when and if the time comes.

But for now I think it's just that you need to come to terms that your little one is growing up and is looking for a little trust and independence in their personal life. give it to them gradually with a lot of encouragement and some advice along the way and he/she will be just fine.

Answer 27

I feel very strongly that dating has a purpose - to get to know a person as a potential partner for life (or in other words - marriage).  Therefore, if a person is not old enough to consider a lifetime commitment, I don't think that they should be dating.  My children will not be allowed to date until 18 or graduation from highschool.  Here's an interesting book for you, a new perspective on dating.  "i kissed dating goodbye" by Joshua Harris.

Answer 28

I agree with the girl that said 16 is a fair age. That's when I started.. I'm 21 now and have never gotten pregnant :P Anyway.. My parents let me think I was dating when I was a little younger by letting my "boyfriend" and me and some of our friends just go to the movies or what.. but never any older guys and never alone. Just for your knowledge these are the type of boyfriends I dated for 3 days and stuff. haha.

Answer 29

Depends what you mean by 'dating' - it's an American term, the UK have adopted it, as usual.

Answer 30

When she's old enough to be dating she won't need your permission

Answer 31

Most kids do it secretly. Well from their parents. That's what I do.