What am I going through and is this common ?

Question

Ok first off I was in a relationship for 9 years with my son father and in those 9 years we went through our share of problem's. Recently we have separated and our now trying to be friends which i want nothing more because my trust for him is totally destroyed. However, my friends at the same time were going through there own share of problem's with there mate, and now we are all single and living it up, recently one of my friends has found someone she really likes,and so has the other but, I am not to keen on the hole thing. My issue is that right now I think that they are not taking time to love them selves and are jumping back into relationships with another man and not knowing how to be alone. Right now, if there was a guy to come along, I pull back, I am so cold hearted right now and maybe it is due to what I went through but I don't think I know how to love any more, my demands for a man are SO extremely high right now and I am not willing to settle so I am not for sure if i will ever find anyone, however I am not looking though. It has almost been a year that me and my son's father have been separated. By the way I am a Scorpio FEMALE!!

Answer 1

Just be yourself en take your time no need to rush but hold on en u eill heal en have your wings again en fry far away

Answer 2

I feel sorry for YOUR loss.  But honey, life goes on, and in time every wound heals up, IF YOU LET IT.  One thing you must look at is WHAT HAPPENED, and not WHO"S fault it was.  IT is always the OTHER person's fault.  Take a true striped naked look at yourself first, and be honest with yourself.  Did you do everything possible to hold your end up.  Did you try everything and it could not be sustained?  If yes, fine, move on with your life, there is someone better out there, only you won't find it by keeping that attitude, for no two people are the same!  How everyone runs there life, is non of your business, same as how you feel about your life.  Some like to take chances and don't want to miss a single moment of life, and if someone else comes along that they want or think they want, they take the chance without wasting time on thinking weather things will work out or not.  I remember one thing my father told me.  When low, lie low, but keep eyes ears open, so that when an opportunity comes or knock, grab it, for it may not be there tomorrow.  Living it up is ok, fine, but it makes for a poor bedfellow.  You do go home alone!  We all need a person we can share our inner most thoughts with, and if there is someone who extends a hand, and you are tempted, please TAKE IT, the worst that can happen that it will not work out. but think if it does, how wonderful it would be to be able to find love again.  So don't knock it, and don't go around telling others the same, you are not doing them or yourself a favour.  Just shuting yourself out of life.  Pain and pleasure, will always go hand in hand, you have to learn to take them BOTH.

Answer 3

you can't control other peoples lives.  if they have found other people that they care about, then why should you care?  if it's an abusive situation, THEN you try to help.  if not, get on with your life.

work through YOUR anger issues first, take care of your kid, THEN maybe find someone.  not all men are scum.

Answer 4

Yes it is common. Everyone deals with this differently. Your friend has jumping right back in and is going to have some fun. You want to let thing lie low for a while and see what happens. Neither is wrong. You have to decide what is best for you. Sooner or later you will be ready to date again. Not settling is a good thing. Go for what you want and accept no less.    

Answer 5

Don't feel bad many women go through what you're feeling because of the emotional trauma they have been through for many years.Some people find it easy to move on sooner than you expect.I myself has been through the same problem as you it is not easy to pick up the pieces and really trust the next man in your life.But remember life goes on don't limit yourself there might be someone out there just for you.

Your friend might just found it easier to forgive and forget.Wish them all the happiness they deserve or they will think your'e jealous not understanding your feeling.Don't rush yourself to be in a relationship but enjoy this time to be yourself.Remember you just came out of a long term relationship.You need to heal emotionally for you to happy spending time with a man again. I pray the day will come at the right moment.

keep in touch

Preyia