What am I going to do with these children??

Question

My sister inlaw dumped off her children in my house, originally she told us, the children with be here only for the weekend, so I gladly invited them to come to stay, because I thought their parents will be staying too, at least that's what she said.

On the same day after their arrival, she and her husband droved off, and left the children with us. Didn't leave them any food, money, and we called her asking her when she'll be picking them up, she said she would like them to stay for the entire summer vacation. This is so crazy! I know she doesn't have money to sent them off to summer school, but to pull a trick like that on us is unthinkable, what are we going to do?

We're not their parents they don't listen to our rules, they're on our computer 24/7, downloading games and has no homework to do? How can we get their parents to pick them up? They're our relatives, so should we have any say in this?

Answer 1

Honey, it's WORTH the 5 hour drive to drop off these kids in their rightful place....at THEIR home.  I can't believe the NERVE of your sister-in-law!  That is the rudest, tackiest thing I've ever heard of!!  I feel sorry for the kids really - to think your parents can't stand you so much that they'd trick their relatives into taking you for the summer?  That's gotta hurt!  Still, don't have freakin' kids if you don't want to take care of them!!  They are THEIR responsibility and not YOURS.

Answer 2

Not yes but h**l YES.  You call her and tell her she has 24hrs to pick up her kids or you will call DHS...It's abandonment when you drop off your children with no means of payment even if you are family.  It is your house and they are not your kids.  Do like my aunt did her daughter...call the cops.  They will find your sister and bring her to your front door.

Answer 3

call her tell her you will either call DOCS or the police if she doesn't pick her children up.

What type of mother is she?

What about your husband it is his sister,make him do something about it.

Answer 4

well i would call ur sister and tell her...if u dont come and pick up ur child they r just gonna sleep in the street. or call the police and ask them what u can do or ask ur mom. but next time dont let her do that again. or tell the kid if they dont listen to u anymore than they wint eat and be kick out the house. u r gonna have to scream at them and make them listen to u

Answer 5

drive over to your sister in laws house and drop the children off on the lawn....(assuming the sister in law is there) let her know they are not your responeablity.

Answer 6

I think it's worth the five hour drive to dump them back on her lawn.

Answer 7

Man, that sucks!!! What kind of family just dumps their kids off at a relatives house like that? I say ship them off to military school without telling the parents. They were trying to get rid of them anyway!! In the meantime i would ground the boys from the computer or something. Just be more strict.

Ta Ta for now

~*Monica Brown*~

Answer 8

File for child support, I think they will change their minds about the wisdom of doing this.

Family or not what they are doing is wrong, you don't need them in your live at all if this is how they treat you.

Answer 9

I would be calling DHS and reporting them as abandoned.   Tell her you have or will call and give her 24 hours to pick them up.

Answer 10

Um. First of all, hide the keyboard or the power cord on your computer. If they want to entertain themselves, make them go outside and play or something. If they want to use the computer, set up a rewards system, like: Do the dishes, earn 1/2 an hour computer time. Set down some rules, and make the best of the immediate situation. Make peace with the boys. This isn't their fault.  Also, if you trust the 14 year old, you have a built-in babysitter for your little one. Then, work on your sister-in-law. At least get some money out of her. the nerve of her dumping her kids on you like that!

Answer 11

Don't be too terribly harsh. It wasn't right for her to abandon them by any means. But remember that the kids probably didn't ask for their parents to ditch them for the summer. They may just be acting out because they are feeling unwanted. I think you should keep all reciepts and a running tab of what you spend on her children as far as food and clothing and things go. Don't forget to factor in some utilities and cost of child care. Then give her a call with your figure so far and let her know that not only is she expected to re-emburse, but it is to be done immediately or you will take her to small claims court. But I don't think that you should make it a public seen.. you don't want to make the kids feel like their parents ditched and their relatives don't want them.

Answer 12

sounds like there may be something more going on at the parent's house than you know about.  whatever the reason this is not natural.  how old are these kids?  unplug that computer and find something for them to be doing instead like laundry, dishes, or cleaning  nobody at my house gets a free ride not even my own kids!!

Answer 13

Wow, this is difficult.  I do not think you should worry about their feelings, they did not think of yours nor the children.  If the children are old enough to get on the computer they most likely have a better idea than any one what their parents are up to.  I would call the parent and tell them that the children must be picked up by a certian date or you will seek legal counsel for child support.

I would also tell them once burnt twice shy, and that future visits will be banned unless you go to their home.

The advice to call the law or social services may not be as helpful as it was intended, most states do not consider it neglect if the children are left with competent adults.  Do not leave them on the lawn, or buy them a bus ticket then you will be at risk for child endangerment.

Answer 14

I will take them in my and my husband wants kids badly i love kids email me at [e-mail]

Answer 15

You do have a say in this because they livin in your house, eating up your food and spending all of your money. Drop them on their parents' doorsteps and when someone opens the door say "We're just here to bring home the kids!!!" Then drive off. My sister dropped her two kids by me for one day. One day turned into three and I have my own kids to take care of. So i packed those kids in my car n dropped them right back to their rightful owner's house. If you don't say something about it now its gonna become a habit and you'll start seeing them kids every xmas summer and spring break.

Answer 16

Any child in my house follows my rules, especially relatives.  Treat them like they are your own-they may end being yours.  Call social services so they know what is going on.  This is to cover your butt in case your sister flakes out in other ways.

Answer 17

Insist that your sister-in-law pay for the food and entertainment.  

I had something similar happen to me when my niece and nephews were younger but they listened to me.  I scared the c**p out of them by getting up at 1am and stating you have 10 seconds to get to bed or I was going to call their Mom.  Those kids went to bed right away.  The difference is my sister did pay for the food and entertainment.

Don't take your sister-in-laws c**p but don't take it out on the kids.  The kids are not responsible for dropping themselves off at your house.  Do what you can do.

Another idea is to assemble an invoice for the sister-in-law.

Answer 18

I would call child protective services, tell them they were abandoned with you,  and let the so called "parents" have to explain it to the police.

If you wish to keep the children, who need discipline and love obviously, tell CPS that and try to get court ordered guardianship.

In the meantime, set your rules and consequences, password protect the Internet or the entire computer so they have no access.

Answer 19

you need to call dhs and Let them know what is going on!! that is CRAZY I would not Stand For it.  If a Parent drops a child off and Says they Will be back at a certain time they better be or I'll Call Dhs (if the parent did not call and let me know a Good reason for not being there)  You are letting your sister-n-law Walk all over you. if you are uncomfotable with Calling dhs call her mom or another family Member.

Answer 20

1st call a social worker

2nd get a lawywer

3rd call the effin cops .. <3

Answer 21

That is sad, I feel sorry for those children. Just call their parents back and say that you have plans this weekend and they need to come pick them up. Tell them you didn't want to say anything before, but that you are having some money troubles and can't afford to feed the extra mouths this summer. If they say no, I'd call the police and tell them that they dropped off their kids and refused to pick them up. Then, the parents will have no choice but to pick them up or the state will find another place for them to stay. You are being too nice about it. Family or not, you just can't do that. If I were you, I'd try to be as nice to the kids as possible, what if that were your parents? They probably would rather be out having fun with their friends instead of sitting on your computer. But, don't house those children for the summer. They aren't your responsibility, and tell your in-laws that.

Answer 22

Man I really feel sorry for you!!!!That is a living nightmare!!!  What kind of a sister and mother is she? It's a very difficult question to answer but my suggestion would be to try and get in contact with her and let her know how you feel and that if she is oblivious to what she has done then threaten her with DOC's!!!!!! You have a life too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Answer 23

I would call child protective services. This type of neglegince is untolerable. If she does not want to take care of her kids (as it sounds a rather inconvenience and that you are not capable or prepared to deal with). It would be best to notify the proper agency to assist in this issue. It sounds though your sister in law needs so have some watchful eyes and therapy so she doesn't endanger nor neglect her children.

Because she is family, when she calls next, so as to give fair warning, notify her of your plans. I imagine she will return quickly to pick them up! Good luck!

Answer 24

How old are the children????? I would unplug the computer and lay down some major rules. I would then call their parents and tell them to pick the children up or you will be taking more serious action. This is not what people do to people. I would not under any circumstances back down. Good luck

Answer 25

Contact Child Services in your area or the local police.  But be prepared that the children could be placed in temporary foster care.  

If you do not follow through with some type of consequence however, the parents may do this again in the future.  

Some people may tell you to "think of the kids" and don't call Child Services.  But the truth is that if one of those children gets hurt or sick, you are responsible for them but will not have any "legal" right to make decisions on their behalf.   If their parents have just abandoned them, you need to get help for everyone, including yourselves - especially to be able to get the children medical care, etc.  

Good luck to you.

Answer 26

you absolutely have a say they left them for the whole summer without you knowing...if u did that would be very different....

i would have a talk with them..and say listen i dont mind but you need to let me know ahead of time or i wont be taking them again. and thats final...

and um...if they dont have the money for childcare..where are they getting the money for vacation?

and if the kids arent listening to them dont let them use the computer...set up boundaries until they realise ok we need to listen if not this summer is not gonna be fun

Answer 27

It may sound cruel but call Social Services or the Police and have your sister-in-law cited for child abandonment.  Social Services may put the children in foster care, or help you financially to keep them with you.  Besides, you are the adult you can lay down the law that as long as they are in your home they will abide by your rules.  Put the rules in writing someplace where they will be seen and spell out the consequences when they are broken and stick to it.  It can be very trying but when parents don't care about their children they shouldn't have had children in the first place.

I'm a mom of 2 young adults and came from a large family and my mom fostered 2 of my brother's nieces who were quite difficult.  Stick to your guns and your nieces and nephews will respect you for it, even if it doesn't seem that way now

Answer 28

Tell them you will be calling the Department of human services or CPS or whatever in your area to arrange support and legal guardianship for these children.  Play the "what if there is a medical emergancy?" card.

Perhaps just the threat of governmental involvement will wake them up.

Even if you had invited them to stay for a length of time you  would still need medical releases for them, even summer camp needs that.

Answer 29

I can't imagine doing something like this to anyone let alone a family member. Did you tell her how you felt about this? Is your husband as upset about this as you are? Personally I would pack the kids up and drive the 5 hours to drop them back off. It sounds like they are horrible parents and it might do good to call social services on them. Sounds like these kids need a little help and could benifit from some of your parenting. Dont blame the kids for horrible parenting,