What am i supposed to do when i have so many different problems in life ?

Question

how am i supposed to cope and manage ?

and being far away from my goals and ambitions in life ?

i feel so full of aggression, bitterness, resentment about the way my lifes turned out.

normal things have never happened to me because so many tragic things have happened to me.

time in jail, a criminal record - time in a psychiatric hospital for 18 months - a history of rage and aggression outbursts - suffered severe bullying and abuse throughout my life - being homeless for 12 months. head injuries in a street attack.......mental and psychological abuse.......physical assaults........muggings.

ive been fckd over left, right and centre - i feel society has a negative view of me - everywhere i go people seem to treat me aloofly - rejecting of me ..

i get patronised , spoken down to, belittled......i feel ostracised and alienated from mainstream society......like nobody cares and people want me to fail.

i feel people either somehow know about my past or remember from my public rage outburst when i used to lash out at people......lose it badly.....knock people over......cause myself to get attacked, publically embarressed.........cautioned by the police etc.

ive been extremely luck not to finish up in big trouble - i never planned those rage attacks they just used to take me over whilst out in public - id see people and get jealous of their lives as what i percieved as ' happy ' and ' perfect '..

feel threatened by other men looking at me......feel singled out by people then i would just end up losing it completley....like a build up of tension.

even though ive been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and ptsd i think sometimes by symptoms could be intermittent explosive disorder.

basically my lifes been ruined all my life - i now live alone in a 1 bedroom flat on disability - i own nothing except an old computer.

i have a skin problem on the head of my p***s im waiting to hear from with a dermatologist ( cracked broken skin covering the head part )

torn ankle ligaments due to an injury years ago, ive had a scan , was told it will take time to heal......waiting for physio.

joints and ligaments that are weak, and protest against minimal excercise , also my joints seem to easily ' move out of place '...

a crooked little finger that droops over due to an injury that wont straiten.

damaged nerves in my knuckle through punching a wall years ago, i can use it normally , but was told nothing can be done to heal it...........its in my right hand..

ive had an assesment for group therapy at a psychotherapy centre that occured the other day.......i have to wait to see if they can offer me a service........have to wait weeks.

meanwhile my lifes empty, lonely, isolated and dull.......i feel everybody is rejecting me.....because everybody continues to be aloof to me.

Answer 1

accept ur life dont cry on ur past face ur fears improve yourself & be proud of what u r doing dont pay attention 2 what people say coz they always see the negative side of us good luck :)  

Answer 2

People will not come to you, you have to go to them, and if this is the way you are around them it is no wonder they don't want to be around you. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Get into the therapy. Also there is a therapy called Dialectic Behavior Therapy that works wonders with BPD and PTSD. There are even workbooks that you can buy at any bookstore (or order if they don't have in stock). I know telling you to cheer up won't help, but go to that therapy, get yourself on meds (!!), and instead of thinking all the time about how bad it sucks and all the reasons it sucks, try putting all that energy into figuring out ways to make it better. Start with little things but imagine what you could accomplish if you could put all that negative thought to a positive purpose.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

You are the only one that can address all of your problems and feelings, I'm sorry that you have to deal with them but you can.  I would think you are going to have to find the right professional to counsel you so you can start fixing some of the things wrong in your life.  All of us are dealt unfair things we have to deal with and just seems some people can overcome them faster than others.  I just saw a billboard this morning on my way to the store,it said falling down isn't bad its just staying down.  Put your whole soul and being into addressing the things you can change and change them.  You may not be able to solve everything that's a problem but change the ones you can.  I hope the future for you will get better.

Answer 4

I don't think many can relate to what you just said but what people can do is try to gain some understanding and to help and advise you.

Can i just say what an inspirational person you are to me for dealing with these things to a certain standard. It proves that your a strong headed individual to try to overcome these things that have happened to you in your life. Obviously like you say there is room for vast improvement and in every other persons life there is room for improvement.

You just have to have a little faith in yourself try to think positive (i know easier said than done) you deserve happyness for once and there is no reason why you shouldn't have it.

If you find it hard to get on with people in the outside world start building up friendships with people on the internet first and maybe that will help you gain confidence and as your confidence grows your abilitys grow. Then you will generally notice your mood and spirit lifting and will probably feel generally content within yourself for reaching a goal.

I know this might not actually be helping but i'm trying to gain a bit of understanding in order to try to advise you and help you

If you want to chat further then don't hesitate to email me

All the best

Answer 5

Nothing is every completely hopeless. That is the beauty of our spirit...it can be quite resilient.

There are no answers as to why horrible things happen to people, why generally good people suffer or are dragged through the low valley's in life.

Honestly the only thing you can do is try to find positives in your situation. I often ask myself "why me?" especially when it comes to my mental illness problems but my life changed when I decided to channel the desperation into my current career of helping others. I am studying counseling so I may serve other people instead of beating myself up and waking up wondering why in the world I was chosen to harbor so much emotional wreckage.

It's all about your perspective and your attitude. Think about Lance Armstrong and his battle with cancer- he came back to win the Tour De France. He used his suffering and channeled it into victory and he has become an inspiration for so many people.

Because of what you have been through, think of how many lives you can change just by sharing your story.

Answer 6

I answered your similar question the other day and recommended a good book to you which will defo help change your way of thinking and help you feel better - YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by LOUISE HAY.  What I want to add this time is that there is a website where people give things away for free instead of them been taken to the tip or whatever.  Check it out, for people who are skint like us its a great help: http://www.freecycle.org/

I'm sure you will get some stuff from your group local to you.  Hope this makes things abit easier.

Answer 7

I can't possibly tell you what to do because I have never felt as you do.  I hope can get some counselling and help.