What am i supposed to say?

Question

i need to and have to break up with my girlfriend, she loves me so much though that or shes a really really good actress were in our 20's and we just arent good for each other letting it carry on for too much longer is just wrong. and just joking about it pisses her off. how am i supposed to let this down gently? ahhh in going crazy!!

Answer 1

Of course it pisses her off.  Breaking up is NEVER a funny issue.  Don't be such a nitwit with the next girlfriend, okay?  

Breaking up is best done quickly.  Don't linger, don't make excuses, don't cave in if she starts to cry.  Don't do it over the phone, don't do it by email, don't do it by text.  Tell her your reasons, but tell the truth.  If she tries to argue with you and tell you why your reasons are wrong, just say, "These are my reasons, and I'm not here to debate or discuss them."

If you have any of her belongings, have them with you and give them back.  Gather your stuff.  Then leave.  Don't try to comfort her.  Don't call her in a day or two to see if she's okay.  You won't be friends again for at least several months and maybe a lot longer, so cut the communications and stay out of her life.

Don't fiddle-f**t around.  Get it over with.

Answer 2

Just do it. Like a band aid. The sooner you do it, the better. If I were her I'd rather just be told than thinking things are still progressing.

Answer 3

Joking is not a good way to go about breaking up.

You didn't give much information about why you feel this must be, but I'm going to assume there is no doubt in your mind.

Whatever your reasons, you need to be clear.  I would sit her down and talk to her about it.  There might not be a gentle way if she is going to get upset no matter what, so prepare yourself for a good explanation (honest) and some tears.  Since it sounds like it is the best option, keep this clear in your mind as you speak to her.

If you no longer have feelings for her, you can say it nicely by explaining that "things have changed between us, and I think we're growing out of each other."  Make sure she knows that you care about her, and that this is absolutely the best thing for both of you.  She will likely have a hard time, and it is okay to console her for a little while, just make sure to stick to your feelings and be honest.  Don't try to be overly sympathetic, as this will confuse the situation.  She will need to grieve on her own and with friends.

By being honest, and explaining that you are moving apart, gently, you can get through this.  You both have to do what is best for each of you, and you are obviously seeing something that she hasn't picked up on.  Be clear with her, and let her know that the relationship is not what you want anymore.  It's nothing she did, but rather it's something that just needs to happen.  

Best to you.  Don't prolong the situation, and don't tell her it's been lingering for a while.  Just be straight forward about how you feel right then, and leave all joking out of the room.  It'll hurt, but it's like ripping off a bandaid.  It will feel better knowing you were honest, kept her feelings in mind, and did what you needed to do for yourself.