What are best ways for a rape survivor to handle unwanted attention from the opposite s*x?

Question

What are best ways for a rape survivor to handle unwanted attention from the opposite s*x?

Answer 1

Every person will have their own way of doing this, but essentially it will be the same way the person always dealt with unwanted attentions.

I have put some links below to services where people who have been raped can talk with others who have experience of helping rape victims to deal with the trauma they have experienced and can offer practical advice and support.

Assertiveness training groups or classes are also a really useful idea as a way of re-empowering oneself after being raped.

Best wishes and good luck :-)

Answer 2

Are you the rape survivor? I am very sorry if that happened to you. Just be honest and tell them you are not interested.

Answer 3

That individual would need psychological counselling in order to learn coping strategies.  

Answer 4

Wow! The empathy from many of the responses here is just awe inspiring. *rolls eyes*

I don't know if you are after suggestions/idea's for yourself, a friend or it's just a theoretical question, but if you have experienced this, I'm sorry that this has happened to you. If you don't mind, I'll question this answer in a way that is directed to you, a woman (based on your avatar) and therefore assume that the perpetrator was a man. I'll also answer this question in a way that reflects the need to work *towards* being able to deal with unwanted attention. It's often all part of the process. Please bare with me, while I do that :)

Often in the case of rape, the survivor senses a lack of control in various aspects of her life. From walking down the street, to working with men and having to interact with them, these tasks can now become very difficult things to do. Trust in one's safety and the many questions involving "what if" can become overwhelming. Things that you never expected could become so frightening, can bring on panic attacks.

Something that's important to do, is to attempt to find ways to recapture some of the sense felt before the rape, including safety, control over your life, and free-spirit. Unfortunately, we don't realise how important those things are, until they are taken away by an assault such as rape.

This is not an easy task, and the important thing to remember is to take each day as it comes. While it might feel that you will never recapture the safety that you once felt, it is much easier to begin healing, if there are quantitative experiences that can indicate progress. Setting small tasks such as walking to the store alone, or choosing to walk less populated routes to work can help tremendously. Celebrate all tasks you felt as success, no matter how small they might seem to others.

Unwanted attention from the opposite s*x can be very difficult to deal with. You can either ignore their attention, or firmly say that you aren't interested. Standing tall and speaking in a clear manner, is *usually* enough for the person to understand what you're stating. If the attention continues, state exactly what it is, that is making you feel uncomfortable. Reaffirm that you aren't interested. If it happens a third time, you can tell him that you will file a report for harassment to your boss, the police or both (depending on the situation) if it happens again. By this time, they usually "get it".

With each affirmative statement you make, try to see them as accomplishments. See the strength that you have within, and celebrate it.

I wish you luck :)

Answer 5

i wear conservative clothes and just ignore what i can use homur or make a joke out of some things

Answer 6

Politely, but firmly.

The same advice for anyone.

Answer 7

it's from within.

Answer 8

wearing more concealing clothes might or might not help. The only thing you can do to avoid people is to stay inside.

    I would also suggest intense psychological therapy....

       That or hanging out in L*****n bar's..

Answer 9

Dr Phil has the truth of it.

The majority of the world might sympathise, but the world moves on.  Recovery from rape requires that the victim also make attempts to normalise their views and associations with others.  You cannot go about holding half the population responsible for what happened.

EDIT

3 thumbs down, I would assume from people who have no idea what recovery from this is like.  I still stand by what I said, and it is true that the rest of the world will not walk on egg-shells to protect the possibly delicate sensibilities of rape victims.  It moves on, it is hard, and it is judgemental: and it is often up to the victim to make their own way, especially if they are male.  

EDIT 2

There is a lot of "be firm, say no" stuff being espoused here. While not wrong, truth is that this is hard to say when you are scared and feel as if you lack control.  I had to basically isolate myself for a whle because a "no" from a man seems to have even less value than from a woman.

Interacting with a rape support group can help here a lot, though there is very little for male victims.

Remember also that the person granting the attention is not a mind reader, and will not know of the past trauma, and you still have a responsibility to act with some coutesy if they are being polite..

Answer 10

The same a regular person would.

Be polite, but firm with a "No thank you." If they continue to pester, tell them you are not interested, they should leave, etc. If it gets worse, enlist the help of someone nearby.

Answer 11

have a gun

Answer 12

What form is the attention taking? If it is rude attention, then of

course it can be ignored. If it takes the form of being asked out, or

someone saying they want to be with you, you can politely but

firmly tell them that you don't date at this time, but thanks.

If they keep persisting, tell them no without the thanks. And

if they're rude about it, see the above.

Answer 13

move into a convent, find an abandoned island, listen to Yoko Ono music cranked up. '

Sorry for the tragedy but the world simply will not walk on egg shells for you. Its too much to expect.