What are common arguments against adoption?

Question

When I told my parents, "I hate kids, but if i wanted any I'd adopt them", because I'm utilitarian and I believe there's enough starving children in our country alone, why should i bring in another mouth to feed.

My parents gave me really stupid arguments like

"they won't respect you as much" (which I doubt),

"how do you know where they've been?" (so what? disease?), "people will think you're sterile" (again, so what?),

"I don't want to see a child not born of mine in our home" (ok, you're just bigoted, and you blame me for being selfish)

Can people give me some better arguments against adoption so I can think about it more?

Answer 1

I have three younger adopted siblings and I think it's the best thing that could have happened to myself and my now large family. They are three of the most wonderful kids, although one may have some mental illness, so I would suggest trying to get background information on the parents to see what the risks are of certain illnesses for that child.

Answer 2

who can help me write some arguments for adoption for ma research paper..?

Answer 3

I am sorry to say but am anti-adoption. The reseons that would be is that when someone finds out they are adopted they are living a huge lie. Lieing to yourself is the biggest denail. Adoption is an industry. And kids shouldn't be given to strangers, who come off as the birth parents, and mother should never give away her flesh and blood. one more thing love is an action not an emotion! 

Answer 4

I was very pro-adoption before my adopted son became an adult. I took this child into my heart and home and never thought "adopted" when I looked at him, only "son". He was truly the greatest joy in my life. I have had the not "real" mom thrown in my face constantly by other people. Honestly, it feels horrible when someone says you are not real. I guess all of us adopted parents are fake. As an adult he has contacted his birth family and they have taken center stage in his life. He claims them as his "family" and I am not mentioned. I am now against adoption because I see it as a scam by birthparents who let someone else take over all of their responsibilities and then when it is all said and done, move back in and claim their positions in the child's life. And pretty much everyone supports them. I guess my son just does not have enough respect for me and I guess that is probably my fault. I think his biological parents put pressure on him and he just gave in to them because as he has told me, I don't have a choice in the matter and have to take him however he is and have to accept whatever he does. I think he does not feel like he can say no to them. This has caused much pain in both of our lives and has damaged our relationship. I now do not believe in adoption.

Answer 5

My ex-mother-in-law (note the ex part) once told me while I was holding my 2 month old adopted daughter that it was so sad that her real parents didn't want her and that she was worried the 'bad blood' that I possibly had brought into her family. When I asked her what she meant about bad blood, she said, well, you know, she may be from a rapist, murderer, liar, thief, oh, the list went on an on. After she was done with her nasty comments, I said that I never realized that two of her family members were adopted. She got pretty upset with me and said no one in her family was adopted and why would I say that? I told her that they had to be adopted because both had been in much trouble with the law, never finished high school and were drunks, and therefore, based on her comments, COULD NOT BE BLOOD members of her family. Wow, did she ever go crazy!

My daughter long ago met her bio family and was shocked to find out how different she was from them. None had graduated from high school, all had been in more than a little trouble with the law, and only one sibling had not had a child out of wedlock. They are all very combative and their solution to any disagreement is violence. They do not consider any of the consequences their actions may have on themselves or others, they just do what they feel like at the time.

My daughter is kind, loving, considerate and absolutely abhors violence in any form. She graduated from high school and is enrolled in college now to become a nurse. She has goals and ambitions in her life and after just a year of marriage made the decision that life with someone who has no ambitions or goals is not the kind of life she wants to live, so she divorced him and has not had any regrets about it.

I am proud to be her mother and proud to say that the 'genetic' (?) traits that her bio family share have not been passed on to her.

A moral, loving and caring parent is what makes a child become a moral, loving and caring person.