What are current practices in USA and Canada (or wherever else) on notifying first/bio families?

Question

Ran out of room. What I am asking is if there are standard agency/government agency practices around notification if an adopted child dies. Does someone tell the first family? I am not just talking about horrendous abuse, it could be child has developed illness, car crash etc. How depressing I know but someone else asked a question about birth parents rights, and I am very curious to knwo current practices......

Thanks,

jenn

Answer 1

Nope. You will never be informed.  It's bad enough that you can't even let the a-parents know that your child could have inherited a life-threatening disease (such as early breast cancer).

There was a case in my state of a birthmom who went searching for her son after he would have been 18.  Eventually found out that he had died under mysterious circumstances at the age of three.  Her perseverance ended up getting the a-mom charged and convicted in his death by abuse.   While I was thankful to find my son still alive, his situation is far from ideal.

Answer 2

I hate to say it but, I do believe that Adoption is considered the same as birth and the only obligation of the state is to recognize the adoptive parents... When I read the paperwork in essence the adoption is viewed as the only relevant issue...

There are however families in Oregon who are  fighting the state over the death of a child who was in Foster Care with a TPR and not yet adopted....

I know a friend who was very young when she placed her newborn for adoption... she lived 18 years waiting for reunion and found out the baby died at about 6 days old.... I think that was wrong and would imagine there should be some way to notify the biological family of events such as this....

Answer 3

No body tells the first families anything, we have forfeited our right to know when we relinquished, and by the way I hate that word, it brings back memories of the lack of counseling i got, and when I said I can't give my baby away and they said no, you aren't giving your baby away, you are relinquishing, like a word makes a difference.

Answer 4

This is why i ask women if they are strong enough to handle putting their child up for adoption. I lived this for 28 years in a closed adoption. But when I try to bring it to light I get jumped on for speaking for someone else, insinuating that all AP's are bad people, or that I signed my rights away why would I care. Try to imagine wondering for all those years if your child is still alive. Mine was and she had a good home. That does not change what goes through your head for all those years. that could have gone on forever for me if she didn't find me. I think it's a mean and hurtful thing to do, to just let someone go through life with that. The least they could do is tell you. But hey, I gave my kid up, that means I didn't care.

Answer 5

No they don't.

My son could very well be dead.

I wonder how someone else would feel to not know if their child was dead or alive. Imagine the daycare or school not calling when dear Johnny dropped dead on the slide.

Answer 6

at this point, it is my understanding that death is not a good enough reason to contact the bmother or father, and is still not done.