What are good punishments/consequences for a five year old (that will work)?

Question

My husband and I are struggling with disciplining our 5 yr old daughter. Nothing seems to work. We have tried grounding, taken away her TV (which I don't think she should have gotten int eh 1st place), toy time out (taking away things for a predetermined period of time, time out, and even spanking. NOTHING phases her. She is very bright and advanced for her age and was an only child for 4 1/2 yrs. She really believes and says often that she can "do whatever I want to do whenever I want to". As a stay at home mother, I am at my wits end. I really don't want her to start school behaving this way. I'm afraid she will forever be the spoiled, bratty, rude kid that nobody likes. Does anyone have any good suggestions for punishments/consequences, and rewards, that will stop the bad behavior and help her to learn to be more kind and respectful of authority?

Answer 1

Beat her, it worked for my father.  I sure as h**l don't have a criminal record and everyone loves me at work so say what you want about physical disapline but I'm living proof it works.  And see, I'm intelligent enough to type correctly and use full english.  Seriously, too many people come down on physical disapline, just crack your kid across the back of the head with your hand.

Answer 2

She needs a proper spanking.

She needs to be placed across your lap face down.  Panties lowered to her knees.  You need to slap her bottom hard enough that she cries.  You need to slap her bottom several times; after she is crying uncontrollably, slap her bottom 10 times, but harder.  Let her cry.  Give her a hug and then some privacy.

Later, have a talk with her about her behavior.

Be prepared to repeat the above each time she needs a spanking.

Answer 3

Take away all of her toys one day. Just lock em' up in another room. Spank the c**p out of her when she misbehaves. Make her life as boring as possible, and when she asks for her toys back, tell her to start behaving better and things will get better for her

Answer 4

sometimes talking to more often are better than spanking or hit them.bit by bit they;ll change.talk about what will gonna happen if she'll behave like that.

Answer 5

Do the super nanny thing. Get down on eye level and tell her what she is doing is not exceptable. Tell her she is a big girl and need to act like it. Than put her in a quiet place where she cannot find anything to play with for however long you see fit. If she does not sit there you simply put her back and make her time longer.

If this doesnt help make her favorite desert and tell her she cant have any because she was a bad girl that day. But if she behaves tommorow she will get some.

hope some of this maybe helps.

Answer 6

Have you tried the naughty spot/chair? doing so at home might be a good idea as they use this method at school except it's called the think spot. when naughty she is to sit on the chair (no stimulent like tv or music or pictures or anything - has to be away from ALL activity and people) and being 5 she must remain there for 5 minutes, My 5yr old HATES it, they used this in kindergarten last year and this year in pre-school and I used it before she started school and she hasn't had it once at school, and we only tried it for a lil while at home and now all we have to do tell her off and she goes to her room (she actually runs to her room crying if her dad tells her off as she doesn't like to be told off at all lol). She also had a sticker chart that I made up on the computer and on it I just had simple things like manners, and simple tasks that need to be done like brush teeth, shower/bath etc and put toys away etc (only things that are age appropriate) and if she got a certain amount of stickers then she could get a small toy, or an extra lunch order at school etc, or she can save them and earn small things several times to get a big thing like a more expensive toy etc, eventually she just started to do these things and didn't need the sticker chart and now I just treat her every now and then cause she earns it, as she too is advanced for her age, and she now is such a brilliant lil helper both at home and at pre-primary school with kids and teachers lol.

You must remember even at 5 and even though she maybe more advanced then other kids her age there are limits on what she can do and understand, and I didn't realise this until I did a parenting course (just want to be the best mum I can be) and I was amazed at what I thought she was old enough to know and do etc but isn't.

OMFG - Don't do what shakensharon said - bloody h**l that's horrible and humilating and is CHILD ABUSE by law you can not spank your child on the bum 10 friggin times, OMG, and spanking doesn't really TEACH anything other then to be violent. and OMG don't do what Robert C said with the diapers, that's humilating and at 5yrs old is just wrong I don't think I need to explain why, it just is and would be considered child abuse as well as you would be humilating the child.

Bloody h**l what's wrong with you people, children thrive and live and learn from LOVE not hitting and humilating. spanking should only ever be used as a last resort and only if the child does something that could endanger themselves or others, not for misbehaving in general, it just cause them to rebel and defy you.

Rook is wrong too - hitting across the head or anywhere other then then on the bottom once or twice is by Law child abuse

Answer 7

I have a 5 year old and he was outrageous and has had a hard couple of years. I decided to putt him in a private christian school with a lady that I knew from my ex-mother in laws church. I have to say it was the best decision I ever made. He loves being able to make friends on his own and have that stability of a learning inviorment to go to everyday. I had to make sure that the school new his history and were well aware of his emotional and behavioral actions and that they were willing to putt in 100% and not give up on him. Within as month he over exceeded in his class as one of the smartest children and this was at the age of 3 when he started there. Don't give up hope. But maybe putting her in a new enviorment and giving her some responsibility could help her. Nothing happens overnight but you have nothing to loose. The school has worked with me on ways to cope and deal with his behaviors and I do the same with them and as long as we are consistent and on the same page it seems to have worked. Good Luck. But don't spank, it does nothing except teach hitting and half the time they just laugh at you anyways.

Answer 8

yea haha sry to laugh my i know exactly what you mean and how you feel.. yes you have tried alot but really think about it . have you done everything you could? have you stuck to the punishments? and i know this may be hard to cope with but.. try ignoring her for a period of time... like if she does something bad and u spank her or w.e and she doesnt listen then just completely ignore her.. it works

Answer 9

With our almost 5yr old daughter we either put her in a corner on a chair or make her sit on her bed with nothing. We also talk sternly to her about what she did. For a while she wouldn't stay in her "naughty" chair or on the bed so we would just keep putting her there until she would stay. After a few minutes of her crying she would calm down and then we talk to her about why she was punished and let her know she has to be good. She has figured it out and now stays in her naughty spot without a fight. You really just have to let the child know you mean it and make them stay there until there time is done. They are always going to be a little naughty but they learn right from wrong when you are persistent.

Also praise for being good and doing good things helps their self esteem and makes them want to do good.

Answer 10

Oh my goodness...please do not listen to these people here!  Heavy spanking only teaches violence and nothing more.  She will not respond to it but maybe social services will if you do spank her and leave a mark on her!  

You have to reason with her in a different way.  I dont know if you are a christian family or not, but the bible provides a lot of good guidance for raising children.  If you teach your child the principles behind these scriptures, like honoring your father and mother and also, that there are family headship rules and children must obey them.  That is their obligation to God, not just YOU.  Its not an overnight thing.  Children learn from example.  You might also want to re-examine what is going on in your home..and evaluate your own life standards..

Its not going to be easy for you.  She may have a difiance disorder and you may have to take her to the doctor for an evaluation if this type of behavior continues.  

You will need a lot of time and patience to deal with your daughter in an effective way.  Many years of it.  My 12 year old son is just now responding to all the years of training we have given him..only now.  But its at least its going in the right direction.  Gotta stay on top of them and not let them tire you out first.  You are smarter, older, and most of all wiser then she is, and you will find the right way to deal with her ...Just find it fast.

Answer 11

Well, since normal things are not working, you may have to go drastic.

One suggestion would be to put her in a diaper whenever she acts up and tell her that she is in a diaper because she is acting like a baby.  Tell her that big girls listen to their parents and behave themselves.  

I know it sounds a bit much, but hey, you have tried conventional stuff.

You might go less drastic at first and simply try positive reinforcement.  Whenever she does behave, tell her that you are proud of her and that she did a great job.  If her acting out is something you can ignore, then ignore it.  If it is something you can not ignore - just simply say no and put her in her room...after you have emptied her room of anything she could do or play with.  

You don't want to go overboard with the positive reinforcement as she will then always expect praise whenever she is behaving...thinking she deserves something for her efforts.  So just simply tell her she was very good and you are proud of her and that she was acting the way a big girl should act.  

You just have to keep trying until something works....Just please don't give up.  

And make d**n sure that your husband and you are on the exact same page.  You can't have one of you letting her do something when the other parent won't let her.

Good luck, hope it works out for you and her..