What are healthy ways to let a seven (nearly eight) year old child express her anger?

Question

I have a beautiful daughter. She is smart and fun, and I love her to pieces. She has special needs. Its weird...she's somewhere between autism and ADHD...no real diagnosis yet and we are still in the process of trying to figure it out. Academically she is doing great, but she is way behind in social skills and we have been working to get her the help she needs. Sometimes she gets very frustrated when she has trouble communicating to me. Sometimes she becomes totally overwhelmed if too many other children try to get too close and she becomes overstimulated. I am looking for something constructive she can do instead of throwing her things around and kicking her bed! I can't let her just take a walk because we don't live in a safe enough neighborhood to just turn her loose and we also have a two year old to contend with. Any ideas?

Answer 1

You could get her a journal or a notebook to write her feelings down in. If she needs to physically expell her anger than maybe you could get her a small punching bag in her room that she can hit. If you do that though you should teach her how to do some deep breathing afterwards to slow down her heartrate and help calm her down. When I was young I had a "punching pillow" It was a pillow shaped like a dragon that I would beat on when I got so angry that I couldn't communicate my anger properly.

Answer 2

you can find old VCRs and let her take them apart.  or get her a baseball bat and let her go to town on a tree.

Answer 3

Get clay. This will only be for these moments. Have her sit and mold the clay. This will calm her down. Place it in a special container it could be of her favorite color.

Also she could draw what is bugging her. I did this with my youngest when he wasn't able to verbalize things to me.

When she gets overstimulated try to turn off any noises. Also when you put her to sleep get her a small radio in her room put it on the classical music station and put it on low. I did this for my two older kids that have ADHD when they were younger and it did wonders. It gets them calm. (It might take some time but it really does work).

They sell these squishy balls.(There are some throw pillows of the same material these could work better) Tell her when she is upset she can take them and squeeze them. This worked for my older kids when they were about that age. Sometimes you have to try a few things before you figure out what works. I know it's frustrating especially when they can't communicate but what I've listed is what has worked and is still working in my home. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

I'd first take her to a pediatrician; he'll have some answers for you. She seems to have emotional issues including anger. Can you buy her one of those big blow up dolls she can kick? Let her bang a pillow on her bed. Can you drive her to a park to swing? How about crayons and a huge writing tablet? Do you have a place she can throw a big beach ball? Dance in circles with her. Sing with her. Find omega 3 fatty acids for kids and give her one daily. Passion flower is very relaxing also. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

Can you afford to get a gym membership?  usually they let you bring your kids to go swimming and play basketball and other things like that.

Answer 6

I strongly recommend enrolling your daughter in a good Martial Arts program.  This will allow her to kick and punch in an appropriate way.   Our local karate school has many students that fit your daughter's profile.  Without exception, all of the parents have said that their children's behavior improved tremendously after a couple of months of karate classes.  The instructors are usually trained to work with all kinds of kids.   Your daughter would benefit a lot from karate, and it would give her the opportunity to make some friends, too.

Don't worry about her difficulties in communication.   Our karate school has a student with Down's Syndrome who has a lot of trouble making himself understood sometimes.  He is a second-degree black belt!

Answer 7

Yes - expressing anger physically can be a real release for her. When she wants to kick, say "It is not OK to kick a person or a bed. It is OK to kick a ball or a ___." Get her a big heavy ball and say kick it as HARD as you can. If you're OK with it, take her somewhere rural and let her scream it out. Or give her something she can beat, like a rug hanging over a clothesline. She will learn it is OK to express anger in constructive ways but it is not OK to hurt people or be destructive.