What are other Jehovah's Witness parents doing to help thier children to learn to love field service???

Question

I am a newly single mother of 3 beautiful little girls. My ex-husband decided to leave his relationship with Jehovah and his family behind for the ways of the world. I have only been baptized since May 16, 2007 and I am struggling to find ways to make Field Service more appealing to my girls. I have asked some of the older ones in my congregation about how they taught their kids to enjoy it but I am looking for some newer ideas that may be appealing to my 5 year old, 3 year old and 19 month old daughters. Please let me know what has helped you! Much luv to all! -Kerrie

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear that.  It must be tough.  What kind of man would leave his wife and 3 daughters, especially so young.  I am thinking that your ex-husband left for another world to be with another woman.  May God of the Universe help you and your girls to a better life.  I really want that for you and your girls.  May karma befall that two timer and make it quadruple.  Your daughter's will do well because of your love and guidance.  I can bet on that.  What a wonderful woman and mother you are.  I just can't get over that ex of yours.  As a comedy I remember, "What a dirty rotten scoundrel!"  Blessings and love, Aimie

Answer 2

Why don't you let your children decide on their own if they want to be a Jehovah's Witness without you cramming it down their throats and indoctrinating them. Pimping them out to place Watchtowers. It should be illegal to sell your kids into slavery for a publishing company.

They are too young for relgion. They only know what mommy tells them. And shame on you for telling them their daddy is bad and he will not survive armageddon. This harms them emotionally.

You are in a cult. What is a cult? You don't know do you? Why don't you research all you can about cults before you lose your daughters too over this silly club of yours, when they get disfellowshipped at 16 years of age.

Answer 3

I was raised a JW since the age of 2 so I am MORE than aware of the mentality that you have and I can honestly tell you that while your efforts are clearly sincere and I know that you are trying to what's best for them.... in the long run your children may grow to resent you.



I recall going door to door as a child in the 70's and 80's and trying to take my now 16 year old out in service back a few years now and I know in my heart I was trying to do the right thing also.  There is NOTHING appealing about going out (with good intentions) and going in and out the car...walking up steps, knocking on strange doors  for young children.  While I know your trying to raise them according to what your being taught I ask that you consider if you really ARE doing the right thing for them.  

I am so sorry that your husband left your family.  Being a JW is NO picnic and is VERY difficult on men in particular...the pressures of being a MS or an elder...being a good example in the congregation, etc.  I DO commend you for trying to do what you think is best for your children.

Edit: Please listen to "Blessed" she KNOWs the psychological impact from a professional point of view AND from experience!

keep in mind that I left the organization but I never left God and NOW my parents and I don't speak.  Don't let this tear you away from your children ultimately it may happen.  Research.

Answer 4

Well ,you have some excellent advice and personal experiences to go by here.I have known these people for a while and I tell you that they haven't been making up anything just for you.They are sincere and loving folks and are truly thinking of your children and have told you their personal experiences.

My experiences were not mush different.Personally the raising of children to be Jehovah's Witnesses is a real challenge.Most are pretty good at such until they become young adults and have acquired some thinking abilities of their own .I have seen the "Do your talk in the ministry school really good and I will buy you those new jeans you wanted so bad" That's the bribery method often justified with"Well Jehovah rewards us with the new system if we do what He expects of us"But if we think about it ,it really is not the same.My son-in-law used to do the "perfect behavior at the meeting and Dairy Queen afterwards" that worked while they were young and until they became used to dairy queen every time and sometimes he couldn't get it for them.Than the punishment started because they were upset because they were good and didn't get their ice cream and they were carrying on and crying and spanked and sent to bed for acting up..But who made them this way?The bribing parent.But Blessed and Chuck have given you the best advice.I am sure that if you think about it you can see the wisdom of their words.Look around in your Kingdom Hall and see if the children of older ones are still active in JW's.I did see that so many weren't but never asked myself WHY that was my mistake.Even with all the family book and other helps as blessed said 2/3's leave .If they were happy they wouldn't .So leading a happy family life is more then what we can learn from a book on it .It is letting children be what God ment them to be and that is children.You can't have them be little soldiers in full spiritual armor at the age of a child and as Blessed reasoned Jesus (the perfect man) was not baptized until about 30.He is our exampler.Be a good Mommy and teach them about the bible and to love God and let them (not under duress of pleasing someone)grow until their own little tree bears fruit and they want to do something.

Answer 5

Sorry to answer as I am currently disfellowshipped (but eagerly awaiting reinstatement), but there were SO many negative responses, that I wanted to show a brighter side.

When I was first baptized in 2001, while my 3 older kids were in school, I took my then 3 year old out in service almost every day.  I called her my pioneer partner and it helped draw us closer together.

I tried to get "in town territory" so we could walk to more houses together.  (There's a LOT of country territory here where we spend most of the day in the car which kids- as well as adults lol- tend to hate).

I used the time with her to talk about Jehovah as well as the things we saw and the nature of people.  Sometimes she'd carry the territory card and write down the house numbers, or I'd use the time to also teach her life skills and have her tell me the house number, color, street name etc.

We'd take breaks and rest, when needed, or when possible if we worked with the group (a lot of times it was just she and I).

She's 11 years old now and the only one of my crew that has any interest in the meetings.  If I'm reinstated by January, she'll go out in the Ministry with me when we're at Hawaii while my hubby attends classes and she's looking forward to it a little.  None of my kids believe that I actually go out in Service when I have to travel with my hubby and my zeal rubs off on them a little.

When your girls see you enjoying the Ministry, they'll enjoy it more.

One Sister at my Hall has a toddler and she bought a DVD player to bring along.  Some of the Friends don't like it, but it IS helpful with little ones.  You can always play the Societies movies geared more to little ones.

Much success to you and your daughters, and many hugs for your loss.  May Jehovah continue to be strength and heart.

Agape,

April

Answer 6

Well, when a jehovah's Witness comes to my house, I just slam the door in their face.  With a little kid, I would never do that, but I would most certainly let them know that I'm not interested...honestly I don't know how you can make it more interesting for them because what kid wants to be rejected all the time.  I think making those young children do that is terrible.  Let them be children for a little while.  

Answer 7

It seems I know more of what NOT to do:

Be careful not to push them.  If they seem to be timid, don't be so quick to "encourage" them to learn a presentation and speak at the door. They just might grow up and realize that everything they did was to please you, that they don't really believe it, and then top it off with getting shunned for leaving!

After all, the odds are not in your favor.  It happens to 2/3's of children raised as JWs.

Things to ponder:

Is there any evidence that children accompanied their parents when Jesus sent his followers out "two-by-two?"

Should they be expected to stay awake, sit still and pay attention at all the meetings?  Is spanking appropriate for squirmy children?

Should your children be warned against bad associations as soon as they start school? What crimes could their classmates really have done at so young an age?

Should they be expected to "witness" and give literature to their classmates, yet avoid any "apostate" literature from their classmates?

(From personal experience, I can tell you that this hypocrisy will likely create a moral dilemma for your child in her teens)

What message will you give them if you compare them to each other or other "more spiritual" children in the Kingdom Hall?

What age was Jesus baptized at?

Why does it take so long to get baptized as a JW, despite the immediate baptism in Biblical accounts?

When they get older are you prepared to shun them if they don't agree with your beliefs?

What message would you be sending if you are constantly "encouraging" them to go out in field service, to get baptized, questioning if they've studied for the meeting?

Personally, the message I received is that my mom was never happy with me, nor was God.  I thought God was cruel and I'd rather die in armageddon than serve Him.  Thankfully, He has shown me who He really is!

Answer 8

Some young ones like to go to the door with the brothers. They feel protected and learn from their wisdom.

Some like to go with children their own age.

Your children are very young so you would have to work with one child and another sister and have the other children waiting in the car....each house let them place or leave a tract...even if the householder says no to everything they may take it from the child.

Take 30 minute breaks.....don't be stern with the children as they don't understand yet.....bring snacks like trail mix or dried fruit and never allow them to eat in anyone's car.

Take a lunch and have a picnic in a park or a field...let them run.....

Have a smile mom all the time...as these children belong to Jehovah and he blessed you with a short 18 years of their lives.....its over all too soon.

Answer 9

I know that you want to hear some good news and you probably won't think that what I have to say is good news, but please hear me out!

I have two children who, up until this year, were being raised by ME (their mother was disfellowshiped, can you guess why?) in the organization. The youngest is well beyond the age of your oldest. Anyway, I can honestly say that field service is simply not something ANY kid enjoys. Kids want to be out playing or inside drawing, coloring, or doing other "kid" things. God created them that way, and I personally think it is one of the most beautiful things in the world- to watch a kid being a kid!

My children would go out in service because I made them do it, either by guilt ("don't you want to please Jehovah and make me proud?"), bribery ("we might stop at McDonald's while we're out"), or outright parental demand ("because I said so!"). The bottom line is that you can make them do it, but you cannot make them like it!

My son was an "uber- child". He went along with whatever was expected of him and was impressive to all the people in our congregation. He had done two assembly parts by the time he was twelve and wanted to handle mics during the meetings by age 10, though the elders wouldn't let him because they felt he was too young. He truly was the epitome of what a young JW child "ought" to be. It wasn't until earlier this year that I realized that he did it all out of fear- fear of being destroyed at Armageddon and fear of disappointing me. Does that sound like God to you? Would God do that to a child? Then why is it OK for the organization to do it?

I'm glad that he's not under that oppressive yoke anymore, but I carry a lot of guilty feelings for how his childhood has been spent thus far.

I am normally VERY vocal about the organization and why people need to get out of it, but not this time. This time I want to figuratively get down on my hands and knees and BEG you to just let your little girls be little girls and don't demand or expect anything from them than just that! PLEASE! Jesus grew up knowing all along that he was the Messiah and what his purpose on the earth was, yet he didn't get baptized and begin his ministry until he was 29 years old. Why would you expect any more from your three precious little girls? Follow Jesus' example and let them grow up, first!

...Please?