What are peoples problems with young mums?

Question

Hi x

I am Esmee i am 20 and have 4 children.

My children are:

Faith (5)

Hope (4)

Destiny (3)

Trinity (2)

I am also 20 wkks with my 5th child - another girl!

Faith and Hope have the same Dad but he left me when he found another woman, we were engaged at the time and I thought things were ok but he had an affair!

Destiny and Trinity and the baby all have the same dad and I am curently engaged to him. Jase has accepted Faith and Hope as his own.

I do work as a Beautician and earn a resonable amount, Jase works as a Bouncer and earns quite a good amount. So we are not on benifets.

We curently live in a 4 bed detatched in Reading (UK). And we have no morgage on the house.

But still when i walk down the road with my kids and Jase i get lots of rude looks as Faith and Hope are half african-american. And me and Jase are both white.

I think i have made a good start in life - But why still all the rude stares when they know nothing!

Thanks

Esmee x

Answer 1

I think it's your age that is getting you 'looks', not the race of you and your children...but hey, if you can make it work...more power to you!  How do you afford child care for the 4 children while you are working?  That's amazing!

Answer 2

People are rude.  I know that having children that early in life makes it hard for the parent to continue their education and get a good foot hold in life.  But I do know another girl much like yourself.  She found out she was pregnant and thought, "Well it is time for me to grow up now."  And luckily, her boy friend thought the same thing.  She made good grades, went to summer schools, took tests to skip grades and finished high school two years early.  Then they both went to college, and got their computer programming degrees.  They have been married since she was 16, and he was 18.  They would have gotten married sooner, but her mom wouldn't let her until she was 16.  Even after they were married, they were living with her mom until they finished school, and she didn't allow them to sleep in the same room.  Hehe.  As soon as they finished school they bought a little house and a car.  They have been together now for 13 years and now have a daughter to go along with the little boy.  So it is possible to be a young mom and be responsible.  I don't know how you can afford 5 children....wow.  But my hat is off to you for doing as well as you have.

Answer 3

Many people are biased to mixed children.

I have experienced that with my oldest 2.

I was married for 10 years to a man who did almost every bad thing he could do to me.

So it wasn't like my kids were spawned by random mexicans.

But people don't care, they enjoy the drama & judging others.

What matters most is that your daughters have a good daddy now who sees past what other people can't even think past.

Answer 4

you were 15 years old when you had your first child and you wonder why you get wierd looks????

But Congrats to you for making a living and not reling on well fare!!!!

Answer 5

ignorance is that answer.  its so easy for other people to pass judgement.  you should be proud of the fact that you are able to take care of your babies.  good luck to you and your family :)

Answer 6

Maybe because you had your 1st at age 15 when you should be in school learning and not out making baby's

edit: maybe i'm going a little hard on you but seriously did you ever think about how hard your life is going to be seince your having  3toddlers and 1 baby soon to be two baby's when your only 20! At Least all i can say is  i hope you finished highschool and if not go back and finish highschool, and the people probably give you rude stares because their in their 30's and struggle having 2-3 children while your 20 and have 4 children plus another on the way! all i have to say is good look and i hope your life goes well! all i know is one thing when i get to be your age i'm going to be in college and have no kids untill i'm at least 25 p.s. i'm 13

Answer 7

Ignorance.

Answer 8

The world is full of ignorant people that think their beliefs should be yours.  

I personally can't imagine having more then two kids as I know my limitations.  You might be a woman capable of being a great mom to many kids.  There are superstars in all walks of life.

As long as you are responsible to your family and the Earth, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Answer 9

im not sure but if you find out let me no im 18 have a 8month old son and 19 weeks preg and im married and they both got same dad....its all jealousy and ignorance i supose i jus try ignor it its our lives we do what we want...and only we know what we want

Answer 10

Well, i'm a 17 year old dad to 3, and people try to judge me all the time and i tell them to go s***w themselves. Ignorance is like a disease, and most of the population has it. But you should just ignore them and be proud for you and your family. I am so proud of my wife (she's turning 20 this month) because she is pregnant with our 3rd child, due within 2 months, and still trying to do her schoolwork with pre-term labor pains. I'm also proud of her for wanting to be with me when her family does not want her to be with a 17 year old. I hope everything goes good for you.

Answer 11

It gives people the idea that the couple was not married before they had the baby, which is wrong.  I honestly don't blame people for thinking bad about people like that, but I won't judge until I know the whole story.  For example: My cousin Tori is 21 and has a two year old names Kaitlyn.  People think automatically that Tori is unmarried (she was when Kaitlyn was concieved and still is) and that's hard for her.

Sometimes people make bad decisions when they're "madly in love" with someone.

xxo

-m-

Answer 12

I doubt they are looking at you just cause your a young mom. Four kids is a lot of anyone!

Answer 13

The impression of young mothers is that they are a burden on society.... especially single mothers.

Many people have the impression, in the US, that women pumping out children are in it for the welfare benefits, are having more children out of ignorance, are having children to fill a lacking in themselves (love and attention), are producing children to trap a man and are not producing children that will be watched and care for properly.  

In other words, you're creating the future thugs and criminals of society.

In regards to mix race children, it doesn't matter to me... all babies are beautiful.   It's what parents do that messes up children.

My issues is with single mothers having more and more children.

Edit... to the answers that call people ignorant.

Personally, I think it's very selfish to bring children into the world that you can't raise by yourself or with your mate where you have to rely on babysitters, grand parents or friends to watch your baby while you work.  

Also, studies have shown that two parent homes are much better for children than single parent homes.

Also, it's quite silly to have children when you're young.  When you're young, that's when you should become educated, work to build up some cash for your family in the future.  

Create a future for yourself so you can create a future for your children.

Edit again...

Esmee... sound like you're doing things right for your kids, but why have more?