What are reasons NOT to have premarital s*x?

Question

I'm writing a persuasion essay on this side of the "argument". There are so many reasons TO do it, but all the answers I have not to do it is very biblical. I believe in God and and a Christian, but this is for my English class so I want to have maybe psychological reasons, physical reasons etc. Also if you can think of the argument against that please include that...

*For the record: I have had s*x, I have a child, and I am not married. I have been celibate for 1 and a half years (a Christian for 1). I am not saying this to boast. I am simply saying it so that it is known I have experienced it and it is "fun"... for a few minutes until leaving feeling dirty, used, and guilty. It also is very hard not to submit to my body and my feelings and have s*x. I have and am experiencing both sides of this and I can say I am happier NOT having s*x... I just need some help understanding the psychological point of view.

Answer 1

The two most basic of drives in the human is for s*x and power. If denied psychological problems will develop, anxiety and neurosis.

Answer 2

YOU SHOULD NOT DO IT BEFORE YOU ARE MARRIED! BECAUSE-

-you become one flesh with that person

-you dont get any STDS or unplanned pregnancies

-you KNOW that your husband/wife really loves you and doesnt only want to have s*x with you.

-those are my reasons:)

Answer 3

Marriage is a religious institution, which is formalised by the state. So arguments about s*x before marriage are tied up with a religion's beliefs about marriage and what nature (virginity etc) the people involved in it should best have. What is moral also depends on what a religion considers to be so. Guilt implies being judged by some authority - perhaps God, based on what a religion believes God to want.

You say s*x - are you distinguishing that from having children? Since that choice has not been available to us for very long and our instincts are very old. Biologically speaking a child is a major investment for a woman, so she wants to be picky about who she has s*x with, preferably with a man who will stick around to help raise the child. (All that extra food to find and being more vulnerable to predators and the risks of childbirth.) Men on the other hand have very little investment and can have as many children as possible with little consequence. (They get sleepy after s*x, unlike women - this might be to encourage them to stick around rather than wandering off immediately.)

In part marriage aims to keep men and women together so that children are properly raised for the benefit of society. Some religions allow multiple wives so long as the husband is able to properly support them, or allow polygamous arrangements. From one perspective if men and women are successfully raising children together it doesn't matter if there is a formal arrangement keeping them together. If however large numbers of women are left to bring up children by themselves, society will not benefit. (I'm ignoring men bringing up children by themselves since that implies there was a non casual relationship in the past.)

I hope this helps, without offending too many people. I appreciate that many people have beliefs that are contrary to things that I've mentioned here.

Answer 4

That you trick yourself into feelings that may not actually be true in your mind. When you're having s*x with someone, everything changes. You never know if they're in the relationship for YOU or the s*x.

Answer 5

I personaly think that its not whether your married or not, but about the person you had s*x with and how you feel about them. If you truly loved the person, have been with them for awhile, and are having "Safe" s*x, I belive its ok.

Answer 6

if u have s*x before marriage, it takes away that "firsttime" feeling, that spark form your relationship....that is what bonds you or to be precise, that is what lays the foundation for two people to come together and 'stay' together.. initially there would be lots of problems before becomes mentally comfortable witht he feeling of being 'married'.

First time s*x is what keeps both the partners together as both r new to it and by the time they get 'used' to it, things would already be in place and both would've become very comfortable with the idea of being 'married' to the toher...this will keep the marriage bond for life.

Answer 7

Well I'm not really against premarital s*x but here are some good reasons not ot have premarital s*x:

1) s*x can kill.

-Both HIV/AIDS and HPV can lead to death and they are transmitted through s*x. Also you can't tell when someone has it so even if you think your partner doesn't they might. You may go and get tested but they could cheat on you and give it to you later so its best to wait for someone you can trust to avoid getting a serious condition such as AIDS or cervical cancer. Even less serious STD's can really suck to because some never go away.

-Counter Argument- The same thing could occur if you're married. Your spouse could cheat on you and give you HIV. It happens. At least before you're married you use protection because you know you can't trust the person but if its someone you think you can trust you're more inclined not to use protection since you think you're safe thus technically putting you at risk.

2) Pregnancy

-When you have s*x you risk becoming pregnant. For two people who are ready this is great but for a couple that is not this can be horrible. Yes, there is the option of abortion but many women feel terrible after getting abortions and there are risks associated with getting an abortion. Adoption is also an option but some women can't handle that either because they have to live their lives wondering where their child is and later wish they could have him/her back. Despite the image portrayed in movies making pregnancy seem easy, its not always so simple. You could give birth to a child with a serious health condition or disorder and end up having to spend thousands of dollars on that child and constantly fear for their life/safety. Also you may give birth to a child that requires more attention that you are ready to give (due to illness/disorder).

-Counter argument- Being married does not make you more prepared to be a parent. No one knows what being a parent is like until they become one. Also just because you're married doesn't automatically mean you are more financially ready to care for a child. You can be married and you and your spouse can work minimum wage jobs. And then there are people that get pregnant before getting married but have good incomes or rich parents who can help them care for the child so their child could be more well off than the child of the married couple.

Answer 8

When you engage in premarital s*x there are a lot of negative things that can come as a result. I think that the major issue that comes to mind when i think of premarital s*x is the respect that you lose for both yourself and your partner. There is a certain type of respect that you have for someone that comes directly from the none sexual relationship and once you have s*x with someone you lose that special respect for them.

Answer 9

Not to have s*x? STD's-aides, herpes, clap...etc, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unable to care for the family you have, Destruction of your reputation, Destroying self esteem, Not only that when you love someone what is there left to give. Sometimes its nice to give someone something you never gave anyone else. So when you get married it is you gift to give to the one you love. The one who will stay with you the rest of your life.

I waited to marriage and I didn't have a problem with it. I was very happy. But sometimes you do want to try it out before you end up with something you don't want. ;-)

Answer 10

the reason is because your virginity is your key and only a person who will support you in life/love you/will have kids with you may take it away because its worth it and you wont regret it....but when you loose it just for "fun" you might as well end up regretting it

Answer 11

The problem today with premarital s*x is that people aren't concerned with the self image issue or even feeling dirty.  Today too many not so healthy lifestyles are being accepted and thought of as nothing.  Pre-marital s*x is one of them.  Young kids are addicted to the feeling of s*x and o****m.  It is no longer an addiction of the love between two people and a bonding experience.  Just like all the other addictions that are taking over and destroying young America.  Just like Drugs and alcohol.  They are addicted to o****m and the feeling of it.  It is just like a high.  Pleasure.  They don't care how they get it or who they get it from as long as they get it.  They don't care about diseases or the risks.  Just like they don't care about the risks of drugs or the dangers of even death.  If you actually sit down and talk with some of these kids without preaching to them they open up and tell their side.  

They just want to get off basically.  They don't care who with either.  They are having same s*x encounters when they aren't even g*y or even taking part in group s*x.  It isn't about having a relationship it is about achieving o****m.   The ultimate high.

If they only knew.  I had pre-marital s*x, but I married that man who was my first boyfriend.  I am so proud that only he has had me.  Waiting is the best thing because it isn't just about the feeling of o****m.  The feeling of love is so much more addicting and more poweful and it lasts forever.  It isn't just a temporary fix.  Feeling good about yourself knowing the person you are with will be with you forever and not just for the moment.  Being able to lay there holding each other and not being in the bathroom feeling dirty looking in the mirror at yourself wondering why.

Not to mention the diseases and risks involved with s*x before marriage.  There is no cure for herpes and wearing a condom doesn't prevent it either.  You have made the right choice by not having s*x.  Good for you!!!

Answer 12

The biggest reason is that you it is one of the commandments.  

But more importantly you only have 1 body and you should value your self enough to wait until you are married to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. When people are out there having s*x with partners for the enjoyment alone then they run the risk of catching STD's,  also being used for s*x and also run the risk of unwanted/wanted pregnancies, being a single parent because they thought the person would be there for them only to find out that the person wasn't really ready for the responsibility of their actions.  I applaud your efforts to stay celibate.  Hope this helps.