What are some benefits to adopting an older child.?

Question

IT kinda makes me sad when all I see are negatives about adopting an older child. Some who have or would adopt an older child even view it as some what of a sacrafice to adopt an older child.

When we considered adoption to be an option "someday, maybe" my husband actually said that he prefered a toddler+.

his reasons:

-they're out of diapers.

-they're out of the dumping into everything stage

-they could tell you what they want.

-school is right around the corner LOL

-Most health problems are discovered and ond can prepare for their needs, rather than finding out that your child has many disorderd you didn't know existed. Example: an Resp. nurse may be a better match for a child with chronic asthma or a stay at home parents for other special needs children.

This is just a few we discussed. What are some things that you an think of as a positive to adopting an older child? Maybe people would be more willing to do so if it weren't so looked down on.

Answer 1

Knowing you're giving a home to a child who NEEDS one (because s/he has already lost his/her parents, and isn't going back, whereas children given up at birth could probably live quite well, and happily, with their mothers).

Knowing you're doing the right thing by not feeding the adoption machine/business.

Being able to sleep at night.  (That's a good one - I like sleep.)

Knowing that you became what a child needs - instead of asking him/her to become what you want.

Reducing the number of kids in foster care (or orphanages if it's an older child via international adoption).

I love your list!  Especially that last one.  Again with the becoming what your child needs.  If you KNOW what they need, you can prepare for it.

Answer 2

Okay, this is going to sound like those entitled adoptive parent things, but one of the things I find most fulfilling about adopting older children is getting to see the world through their eyes.  There are so many "firsts" with my children, many of the things that we just take for granted.  I share their excitement and love watching them explore, learn and grow.  

It's also been amazing just getting to know them, likes & dislikes, thoughts and feelings, perceptions, wishes and dreams.  Yes, older children aren't "blank slates", but that's not necessarily a bad thing either. It can be a wonderful discovery.  

I've learned so much, not just about the two people who are my children, but about myself, the world around me and the indominatable strength of the human spirit.

Sounds cheesy, I admit.  But it's true.