What are some bribes to get homeschooled kids to finish their work?

Question

This is our first year homeschooling, so it's an adjustment. They are a little spoiled, in a big house with a lot of distracting toys. I can hide their favorite things, but they play with something else or play together. Also, my husband keeps buying them more toys even when I tell him I said no more toys until the book report is done. I'm not sure I want to give them cash. They don't get allowance, because they're 10 and 8. And they didn't complete chores when I asked a few months ago, but they kept the $5. So, I don't want to try that again, so soon..... because I know that it won't work. Summer vacation is in 2 months and I want to cover a lot of subjects, before an annoying neighbor starts coming over every day. I've been threatening them with no summer break. But, they'll need it, because I'll probably send them to a private school in August. We have the money now, to stay out of public school and I don't like how my husband is trying to win over my kids.

Answer 1

Personally I would never use the word bribe and homework in the same sentence. This is their education and a responsibility. This is thier JOB to do homework. If you want to reward them, Reward them with an afternoon at the park or time on a video game, or a trip to their favorite fast food place. Warning! Don't bribe with money!! Take it-From: someone who knows.

Answer 2

Perhaps you need a different outlook on what play really is.  Have you ever read any of Moore's books?

If the curriculum doesn't fit the child then toss it.  Start with something that will interest them.  Play is good.  Use that natural desire to play as a learning experience.  What do they like to do?  If they like to "perform" then let them create a drama, make costumes, write a script, etc.  That is language arts.  

If they like to play in sand then turn it into science.  Turn money into math, etc.  The kids are normal.  The curriculum is the problem.

Answer 3

I wouldn't get too reward-happy, when it's time to stop home-schooling they'll expect rewards at school too, and they're not going to get it there.  I definitely wouldn't give out cash for something that is expected of them, maybe only if they do an exceptional job, but right now, it just sounds like they are very spoiled and need discipline.

Answer 4

You need structure for your children.

You have a big house so make an area of it the school room. Remove all distractions. You must make the school day at  a regular time.

I don't believe in bribes for children. You are the adult you must give your children structure and a firm hand in their behavior.

I dont think smacking is an answer, get your childrens respect by  being strict yet fair and loving.

Answer 5

You have way more issues than them not wanting to do schoolwork.  They are spoiled, rewarded for doing disrespectful things, distracted by neighbors, distracted by the large house, have a father that's co-dependent w/ them, and they are huge manipulators.

As someone said, HS'ing is not a correct choice for your family.  I'm surprised you've gotten this far your first year.

You're going to have to gain control of your kids in general, and get the support of your DH before doing anything else.

Bribery is NOT an option with education.  You may have little "carrots on a stick", but do not bribe them.

You are going to have to lay down the law and make consequences when they don't follow it.  You only gave them chores "a few months ago"?  They need *daily* chores.  If they don't get their work done, they get MORE chores, or they get a zero/F on their schoolwork.  It's that simple.

Are they *your* kids and not your DH's? (last line)  If that's the case, then you really need to get your DH under control also.

Basically you need some cajones. ;-)

Answer 6

If you are going to home school,you must have control of your house before you think that you can turn it into a school.  As a teacher, I don't bribe my students to do well or to complete their work. They have learned or are learning that their education is their reward. Do I give treats or stickers etc? Yes. But  the students never know when or what  the treat or reward will be. As a bit of advice, bullies are everywhere. Whether your children are in a public or private school.

Answer 7

By no means am I the perfect parent, but here it goes.  Take away privileges, like having a bed in their room for example, or a door on their room, posters on the walls etc.  If they don't exhibit the proper behavior take one away.  After a few nights on the floor, or no door for privacy, they'll come around.

Absolutely stick to your guns, no matter how it pains you.  If you lose this one, it will be harder to win down the road.

Now normally I would never offer advice of this nature, but you did ask.

Answer 8

When I was 10 I did what my parents told me to do. Bribe or no bribe.

You need to be more firm with them. It seems like their walking all over you.

You need to learn how to sit them down and make them work. And they need to learn how to respect you and do what you tell them.

Dont let them take their education for granted. You will never forgive yourself if you let them take it for granted.

I do know one VERY smart woman who worked for NASA when getting her BS and BA.

She said her father gave her $100.00 for every A+ she got. An A-was ok, BUT NO B's.

She turned out really smart, and has a great life. Maybe you should consider it.

Answer 9

Forget the bribes. It sounds like you really need to focus on your parenting skills and relationship with your kids. This is going to do them more good in the long run than getting them to do the work. What you are describing is a situation where you have almost no authority and they don't respect whatever authority you do have. You need to stand up tall and be in charge. This doesn't mean being overbearing or strict; just in charge. You can still work with them to come up with plans for the day, but in the end, if you don't get a handle on your authority, it will haunt you once they hit their teen years.

What kinds of things can you do? You have a daily meeting with them. You tell them that xyz needs to get done and ask them to figure out a plan of action. You work out rules with them and ask them to come up with reasonable consequences for breaking the rules. You can offer your own ideas after they've provided some of their own, then they choose from what's there, with the understanding that they have to choose something that will discourage them from breaking the rule again in the future. For example, one rule might be no playing until all the work is done. They (or you) might come up with a consequence that they have to write a page on why it's a bad idea to play first instead of getting the work done, or they have to stay 10 minutes in a particular chair, or whatever. There are also many other techniques that could be tried.

In addition, read books such as Parent Effectiveness Training, Kids Are Worth It, How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. We parents need to keep improving our own skills all the time just as our kids are working on their skills.

ADDED: The timer idea is great. Make it something reasonable that they can actually handle. Some kids won't be able to last 20 minutes, but could last 15 or 10.

Answer 10

instead of bribes try threats

you know if they don't finish take there favorite toy or activity away from them

Answer 11

I do not think that homeschooling is the right choice for your family. You can afford it, put your children in school!

Answer 12

First get your husband to cooperate.  Second of all, you dont bribe kids.  That doesn't work.  You need to be a firm parent and punish them for not doing their work and then rewarding them when they do their work but ONLY when they DO it.

Answer 13

Our kids were also bullied and they are spoiled but we also didn't have to bribe. We gave them ultimatums if this ever happened. Our children don't like the idea of an extended school year with a lot more home work. That means, no video games, no time with friends, no television, nothing.

So, they do their school work.

Answer 14

HS Mom and Glurpy were right on track.  I think you need more structure and discipline in your home, including in hsing.  It sounds like maybe you are not always in the room when they are doing their school work, if they are playing with something else or each other.  You need to be there.  Maybe work with one child on math then have him finish the page, then start on something with the other child, etc.  Start about 8:30 or 9 and don't have lunch till they're done [if you have that kind of program that can be done in a few hours].  I don't think rewards are appropriate here - school work is just what kids have to DO in life.  Same thing with chores - start your kids out by working with you, then transition them to doing chores on their own.  Make a daily chore chart and have just ONE ITEM on it each day at first, then add to it every month or so as your kids' prowess increases.  Make it a big deal to be self-sufficient.  Tell your kids stories about people you knew in college [or whatever] who had NO self-care skills and thus suffered.  When my son was 10 he had done his own laundry for a few years and could do ANY of the cleaning in the house [not as well as me...] as well as a little cooking.  He could proficiently do yard work, or could buy something in a store, or research an item online, etc.  These were all survival skills and he was PROUD of being able to do these things.  My kids do not get rewarded or paid for doing chores - they are a part of this family and they contribute.  They do get allowances that they are allowed to spend in approved ways.   You need to backtrack a bit and train your kids in obedience and work ethic, and this will help your hsing immensely.

Answer 15

It sounds to me like you have a lot of different problems. The first thing you need to do is get your husband on board with with is going on. Show him the plans that need to be accomplished and let him know that he is keeping them from reaching the goals you have set. He has to be a partner in what you are doing or it will not work.

Next, have a family meeting. Set down rules and consequences. this should be with your husband as well, after you have your meeting. GET TIMERS! This helped incredibly in our family. My daughter gets distracted easily, so we do take frequent breaks. say, 20 minutes of work and a 10 minute break. Set a timer for both the work time and break.

For the chores, we are getting ready to try something new. Get an inexpensive necklace, not attractive. Clip on it on separate little clips each chore that is to be accomplished before the child is allowed to take off the necklace and "be free." My friend does this and it works very well.

I have a ton of resources I could recommend, but if you aren't going to continue home schooling I don't know that you want them. Email if you would like!

Good Luck.

Answer 16

My family does school Monday through Thursday, and if we haven't blown anything up that week (which actually happens quite often with 3 junior scientists in the house) and we all get everything done, on Friday we go do something fun. A movie, theme park, skate park, ice cream, etc.

Answer 17

It sounds to me that you need to change your family relationship.  I generally recommend unschooling because I think it is a great way to live harmoniously and children thrive in that environment.  I have personally had great sucess with it.  

There is no need to bribe your children.  Sending them to private school will not solve the problem.  It may be fewer hours you spend together, but ultimately if you want a good relationship with your children, it takes effort, but you can accomplish it.  

Good luck :D

Answer 18

Don't bribe them with anything. You have to explain to them that homework is every student's responsibility.

If you start to give them something everytime they finish their homework or some other chore, then they would demand something from you all the time.

Everyone has their resposibilities. Explain that to them.