What are some funny comebacks to insults?

Question

the questions preety straight forward.

thanks for any answers.

Answer 1

no u

Answer 2

1.  The next time you have something to say you need to raise your hand........and put it over your mouth

2.  I don't know what your problem is but I bet it is hard to pronounce

3.  How about a nice big cup of shut the F*ck up?

4.  Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own!

5.   Shhhh.......that's the sound of no one caring what you think.

6.  Why don't you slip into something more comfortable?  Like a coma!

7.  Wipe your mouth, there is still a tiny bit of bullshiat around your lips!

Answer 3

(1)By the way,did your mother have any children that lived?

(2)You're so ugly,when you were born,the doctor slapped your momma!

(3)You're so ugly you could lay on a tombstone and hatch a ghost!

(4)Who does your hair,King Kong?

(5)Was anyone else hurt in that wreck?

Answer 4

whenever someone insults me all I say is "Thank You" and go about my way. It seems to stop them if you don't give them the response their looking for. Good luck

Answer 5

No no no those are all g*y

You have to say something completely random and leave them guessing about what the h**l you're talking about

Or just stare at the top of their head r their nose when they're talking, they'll freak out thinking theres something on them

Say you don't speak English

Say you're going to go tattle on them lol

Answer 6

Sometimes when people try to rip on me I just act unaffected and agree with them. I laugh at myself. It just shows that I'm a confident person and I can laugh at myself. And it makes them look pathetic for trying so hard to get to you. Just act like you don't care and they will be the ones who look bad.

Answer 7

thats what she said

Answer 8

I little child would ask me "why do you talk funny?"  Then I would ask them, "Why do you walk funny?"  I can't stand being insulted.

Answer 9

" uuuuuuuum sorry I would be hurt If you meant something, but you just don't mean that much to me!"

- say this with a disgusted look on your face, watch the person up and down , then walk away!

Answer 10

I don't think the priviledged can just do them off the top of their heads...you just got to "run with it".  It just flows for me.

Answer 11

Generally, I don't get insulted often.  But on the occasions that I do, I just stare at the person with an expression that says, "You poor thing" and don't reply at all.  Maybe smile at them pitifully.  People insult others to make themselves feel better, so they are sad, pitiful little puppies.  Let that show on your face.  If you really need to say something, try saying this in a soft, hesitating way.  "Yes, (pause), that's very funny."  Again the sad smile that shows you feel sorry for the insulter.

Nobody can make you look bad unless you let them.  They make themselves look small and petty and just plain creepy when they insult people.  Don't be small back.

Answer 12

It depends on the insults.

But it is probably unwise to make funny comebacks; it tends to just escalate things.

Answer 13

Who died and left you in charge?

My best one is from a former co worker:

When anybody asked him anything he would reply:

Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a s***.

or you could say Excuse me? Would you like to start over again, I'm not sure I heard you right?

I can't believe you said that!

I never thought I'd hear that from you, of all people!

Answer 14

what insults? Can't advise you on what to come back with unless I know what you're coming back to.

Put some in the edits and I'll try to come up with some zingers.

Answer 15

Did your mother teach you that or did you think it up on your own?

Next time, say something intelligent!

Wow, that really hurt...NOT!

Geez, is that the best you can do?

Oh, not that was supposed to be clever?

Get back in class, you're not doing very well!

Answer 16

ur mom does.....(depending on the insult)

Answer 17

The positive answer to the insult.

Answer 18

"I'm flattered you noticed!"