What are some good Chuck Norris jokes?

Question

and please dont go copying and pasting 100 jokes from a website people

Answer 1

"Chuck Norris doesn't read a movie script, the script reads Chuck Norris."

"Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding."

"There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live."

"Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club."

Answer 2

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not read, he stares down the book until it gives up the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can kick you in the back of the face.

They found out where ghosts come from... Chuck Norris hits folks so hard, their soul pops out before death can get there.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice.

They figured out what the last number in pi is its 0*7*1*5*C*H*U*C*K*N*O*R*R*I*S.

Chuck Norris's shadow stays 25 feet behind him because he beat it up for following him too close.

When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he actually lies still and pushes the planet down.

Answer 3

chuck norris doesn't wath tv the tv watches chuck norris. at night the boggie man checks for chuck norris.hellen kellers favorite color is chuck norris.

Answer 4

It is belived that dinosaurs are extinct because of a giant meteor, it is true if you want to call chuck Norris a giant meteor.

Chuck Norris doesn`t ever ask "who`s you daddy?" becuse he knowsthe answer.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in humn skulls.

Chuck Norris doesnt belive in ravioli, he stuffs a dead turtle with meat, and smothers it in pig blood.

Chuck Norris can win at solitarie with only 18 cards.

Chuck Norris can Taste lies.

Chuck norris Doesnt wear a watch, He Decides what time it Is.

some people wear superman pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris Pajamas.

Chuck Noriris Once ate a whole bottle of sleeping pills... It made him Blink.

I have more I made Up But I wont Type The Rest.

Answer 5

Chuck Norris swallowed a Rubik's cube, and he crapped it out solved.

When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.  The pool gets Chuck Norrised.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris sleeps (well actually, waits) with a nightlight at night, not because he is afraid of the dark but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Answer 6

I love it how he can throw a grenade 500 yards, it lands in a window, and the whole house blows up.

Answer 7

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

Answer 8

Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag a girl,he potato sacks them!

Answer 9

"When Chuck Norris hears a Chuck Norris joke he actually weeps because they are so old and played out."

Answer 10

Not that I'm into promoting my own work or anything but....here's one

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 11

When Chuck Norris does a push-up, the world crashes into the sun.

Chuck Norris can make any man pregnant.