What are some key points to remember in having kind of an 'intervention' for my brother?

Question

There are no drugs or alcohol involved.

He is addicted to 'denial'.

Nothing is ever his fault.

He has worked less than 18 months of the 50 months he has lived here.

Here are other questions with more details.

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He is spiralling downward & taking his family with him!

Answer 1

Sounds like he really does need an intervention.  Just sitting down and talking aren't working.  Talk to a local family therapist or counselor to see how you might get the best results.  Most interventions that I know of involved as many close family and friends as possible (but not casual friends), although a professional was in control at all times.  A professional can also tell you how to follow-up after the intervention is over.

Answer 2

I think that you and the rest of your family need to pow wow and decide if you are willing to support him forever or not.  If you are, then have a nice intervention and try to prod him.  If you are more serious about pushing him towards self-sufficiency, then tell him he has so many months to come up with $200/mo rent or he is evicted.  Include that you all are tired of him leaching and using everybody.  If he complains about his kids, tell him you will take them in because the intent is not to do them harm.  If he says you are being horrible, tell him that, no, this is his decision and he needs to grow up and be responsible.  Whichever way you go, you need to stop giving him money on the side.  Floating $100/mo for rent is one thing, giving him money for other things is nuts.  Your brother is using all of you.  

As for his problems keeping a job, again he has problems being responsible and taking ownership.  He needs more than your intervention.  He needs serious therapy.  He has real problems.

Answer 3

Time for him to get a reality check .

   Write down all the problems before confronting him ... that way you won't get side tracked and you'll know what you're talking about .

   Be sure you have a plan in place for if he tries to go on with the same self destructive ways .

   For example : If you can't work , you can't pay rent , which means you can't live here .

    Good Luck ! hope you can get through to him .

Remember. He's likely to disagree and argue to defend himself .. STAND YOUR GROUND!!!  I feel sorry for his kids .

ALSO :remember you are not responsible to support him ... he has a family , he needs to work for those kids if nothing else ... don't let him pull any guilt trips on you ... these things are his responsibility and this is the life he's making for himself and his family .If you can't get through to him ... you CAN cut off financial support ... stay strong , you don't owe him a living. Make sure you are done being played and that the rest of your family agrees .