What are some mistakes that people make when homeschooling?

Question

I am considering homeschooling my two children. I have read so many wonderful things about homeschooling, however I would be grateful to hear about some of the mistakes that people make when homeschooling....if your willing to share.

Answer 1

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=22...

Answer 2

Homeschooling is something I do not reccomend.  Usually the schooling part of homeschooling does not happen.  Children are usually about 2 years behind of children at Public School.  If you would homeschool the best time would be early grades (1st to 5th) then I would send your children to the Public or a Private school.  Especially in high school, children get very far behind and most are not able to graduate with the class they should be graduating with.

Answer 3

Our biggest mistakes:

-Expecting to find a "perfect" curriculum that would meet all our needs.  There's a reason there are so many choices out there!  Curriculum is a tool - it should be molded to your children's needs.  Too often, it's the other way around.

-Creating a classroom structure at home.  In a school, scheduling out classes and activities is necessary - otherwise mayhem would ensue.  In a homeschool, however, math doesn't necessarily need to be done from 9-9:45, followed by grammar until 10:30, followed by a 10 minute break in which they swing outside.  Allow yourself the freedom to choose the schedule - or lack thereof - that fits your family's needs.

I noticed that once I stopped scheduling my son, he took over and started scheduling himself.  Now (at 10), I give him a checklist of what needs to be done each day.  He gets up early and completes everything that he can do independently (which is generally over 50%) and then we work the rest of it into our day.  IMO, that's what the rest of his life is going to require - scheduling his own time - so learning to do that now is a plus.

Some kids need more help in that department, and there's nothing wrong with that; however, when you see other people's schedules, or those published in books, only take from it what will be helpful for you and your children.

-Feeling like you have to subscribe to a "method" 100%.  Oh, the tears we could have avoided if I'd known it doesn't have to be all or nothing.  

For example - my son likes the 4-year history rotation of the Classical method, but can't stand the narrations and copywork that all of the books "require".  He likes the lit-based method of Charlotte Mason, but 20 minute classes are just too short for him - he likes to really dig into something until he's satisfied.  He enjoys Unit Studies, but needs more formal instruction on language arts and math, so he has textbooks for those and then practices his skills in our unit studies.  He also likes the freedom to just get interested in something and research it at the drop of a hat, once he's done with his required work.

So I guess you could say we're Classical-Charlotte Mason-Unit Study-Boxed Curriculum-Unschoolers?  lol... (I would term us "eclectic").

-Lastly, a huge mistake that is made is expecting your kids to be where *you* want them to be.  You do need to set goals for them each year, and they need to work to meet those goals, but they're children - not assembly-line factory models.  

If Johnny is a bit behind in his handwriting but is honestly working to "get it", that's ok - when he's developmentally ready, he will.  He's trying, and that's what needs to be expected of him.  

If Susie just can't quite get long division, find a new way to explain it to her or let her try a new curriculum.  Maybe take a break from it for a month or two, try some "out of the box" math activities, and then go back to it.  Just allowing the frustration to wear off can do a lot to help her.

When it's all said and done, we homeschool so that we can meet our children's needs.  In order to do that, it's important to talk with your kids, to remain open with them.  If they're old enough (4th-5th grade or so), allow them to have a say in what they do - give them 2-3 math curriculum choices and let them pick, allow them each to pick a history or science unit to dive into, etc.  I've seen homeschooled kids on here that feel trapped and frustrated because something isn't working for them, and they don't feel like they can tell their parents.  Often, it's just a matter of helping them learn effective study skills or changing to a different science book.

I can honestly say that homeschooling has been one of the best choices we've ever made.  It hasn't all been rosy (as you can see by the above), but it is all worth it.  As long as you remain open to the needs of your kids, and you remain committed to educating them - to preparing them for what they will face later in life - you'll do fine (and so will they).  Please feel free to learn from our mistakes, though - your kids will thank you for it!  :)

Answer 4

some mistakes: not discipline, missing goal orientation, not focused.

Answer 5

We have a homeschooling school that has classes two days a week that the kids can sign up for as well as musical instruments and physical education.  My grand daughters take a couple of classes on Monday and Thursday.  Tuesday and Friday they are home and Wednesday they are mornings at home and then at school because their mom is one of the teachers and one of the monitors.

I am the gramma and I moved in with them last December when they bought a new house.  My health concerns forced me to make this choice.  Since I have been here I have been doing history with the fifth grader and also some of the reading as she reads her lessons out loud.  

It has worked out so well for us that this summer we are going to be doing some summer programs because their mom is teaching ESL every day.  The girls have been homeschooled since they began school.  Their homsechool group uses the faith based homeschool program.

My daughter is a teacher by profession.  Observing her running her children through their day I have to say that the biggest plus I see both in subject and other learning is the schedule.  Every week they get an assignment plan and they are responsible every day for what is in each day's lesson.  During the day each one of them individually gets worked with on a subject that they need help with.

The oldest one is very good at history and reading but she suffers with spelling.  So she and her mom go over that every day.  The second girl is one of those kids that finds every excuse under the sun to NOT do their work.  The days work needs to be done and the sheet has to be done by the end of the week.  They both know the sooner they get it done the sooner they can do other things.

The plus to homeschooling from the beginning is that your have exactly the idea of what they do know.  Jumping in in the middle you might find that they aren't ready for what home school dictates is that level of work.

As to ways to deal with the home schooling and your children.  You know best how they behave and you know best what motivates them to get other things done.  Some kids need more attention than others.  Sometimes it feels like you have to spoon feed them each piece of information!

I feel so sorry for the young lady whose mother had no patience and such an explosive temper.  My mother was that way and she did not home school me but the few things she attempted to teach me left me feeling inadequate.  If you know yourself to be this way then you won't be doing your children a favor by home schooling them.

I listen to these people who claim that home school does so much damage to children.  Where were they going to school?  I went a long time ago and it was miserable then.  Now there is no discipline whatsoever and children are facing adult situations at younger and younger ages. Schools can be very dangerous places.  I am so glad that we are home schooling here.  As to the social aspect, these girls have a social life that leaves me exhasuted just watching them.  They have the home school plan then scouts and church wednesday with choir and music and there is rarely a week end that goes by that one of them is not off to a birthday party.  And they do a lot of things with their other homeschool friends and their families.  The families get together instead of just the children going off to some other kids house to play.  We live in an unsafe world whether we like to admit it or not.

On the other hand I just read a homeschool book, or as much as I could by one woman who home schooled her daughter who at 16 was working independently and for electives taught herself Welsh and Gaelic.  Yeah.  Well, I don't see that kind of scholastic commitment happening here, but I see kids who love to read and will be able to read at college level when they get there.  AndI see kids who can think about choosing to become a nuclear physicist because they actually know what one is!!!  They also know what barrell racers and mud wrestlers are!

You just need to stay on task so that you keep current with your work.  Plus you have to make sure that they learn it and that means correcting it and making them go back and get it right.  That's not fun for anyone but it has to be done.  I am just such an advocate for home school that I am biased.  But if you think you can make it beneficial for your kids give it a try and get plugged into the home school program in your area, there will be people there willing to help you out and give you the benefit of what they have learned from the mistakes they made.  Good luck!!

Answer 6

One of the biggest mistakes is doubting yourself. I would listen to all the negative people and start to doubt myself.

Trying to find the "best" curriculum. There is no best only what is best for your child. That may be no curriculum at all and that works for alot of people.

Falling into the "If you were in real school....." form of teaching. I used this when my kids were acting up, I'd say "if you were in real school you wouldn't be able to just get up and walk away when the teacher is talking, just to see the airplane" But you know what, they aren't in public school and if they want to look at the airplane, use it as a teachable moment about planes.

Answer 7

A lot of parents when they home school bring in their personal opinions. Try not to teach your children with a biased opinion try and teach them to have an open mind and learn to formulate their own opinions.

Also make sure to give your children as many chances as possible to socialize with others their age because that's one thing they will miss out on from being home schooled.

Answer 8

Keep it fun.  Kids learn more when they are having fun.  Take advantage of the flexibility homeschooling offers!  Take time to get your kid out into social situaitons every single day - work it into your plans.  It doesn't have to cost a lot - a walk to the park; swimming at the public pool, and a visit to the library - all are equally educational.  Finally, remember "less is more" in terms of curriculum, worksheets, and assignments.  Teach a skill but don't overteach it to the point that you kill it. A whiteboard and marker can get a math concept across more easily then 10 workbooks and 6 websites!

Answer 9

honestly...if you are not going to stick with it dont even consider it.I did ok being taught the first year but after that I had to teach myself.Parents got lazy.Its ALOT of work.Ive been homeschooled almost my whole life.I dont think homeschooling is the best idea...I have problems with my socializing and i feel like ive missed out on so many things i can never get back.If you can REALLY dedicate for the long run go for it...but if not dont put your kids through this.Its so shhitty to feel like you missed out on one of the moulding points of adult hood.I am going to go to college soon but im far behind...ah.

If they are younger maybe it will be fine...but i wouldnt do it unless u are having issues with the school.Maybe do independant studies so they got o classes once a week or  keep them in sports or involved with ppl still.Every homeschooler i know never doesnt work.its the truth.

Answer 10

1) Confusing unschooling with being completely hands off--the kids don't even really get guided much socially and they stick out like sore thumbs

2) Trying to do too many activities and running yourself ragged.

3) Trying to find the "best" program. Made myself crazy for a year trying to find the best math program; I see other newbies make that mistake all the time.

4) Believing it will ALWAYS be wonderful and the kids will always be self-motivated (in particular, self-motivated to do what you think they should be doing), etc., especially after having pulled them from public school.

5) Worrying about not doing enough because the kids are only spending a couple of hours each day on work.

6) Not really meeting your kids needs--expecting homeschooling to just do it all on its own. I truly believe that many of the long-term homeschoolers who ended up hating homeschooling or felt that it's ruined them in some way had parents who weren't involved enough in meeting the kids' needs.

7) Placing the schooling above your relationship with your kids.

ADDED: I don't think it's fair that The Skeptic's response met with thumbs down. When homeschooling goes wrong, there's bound to be a mistake somewhere. It's a chance for parents to learn about potential problems and avoid them. Take the guy who shares in the given link that he lived out in the country and stayed at home through high school without friends (obviously unhappy about the situation)--something different should have been done. If you live out in the country, the person who needs a higher level of social contact will find that extremely difficult. This goes back to what I said: thinking that homeschooling in itself is going to do anything and not meeting the kids' needs. It's so important to listen to the specific details these kids have so our kids can avoid have the same experience.

Answer 11

I haven't read all the previous answers, so this might end up being redundant...but from the perspective of the homeschooled child, here are a few mistakes my mom made with me:

First of all, there are no outside regulations to control your behavior, so make sure you are well able to control your emotions yourself. I'm not making statements about you of course, I'm just saying...My mom was never patient and always very explosive, which completely turned me off to doing anything with her. By association, that caused me to avoid learning for a very long time. It WILL get annoying, overwhelming, and stressful, but keep your cool. Take a break, walk away, etc.

Another thing that homeschooling parents should recognize is when an alternative method needs to be tried. Like I said, if the parent-child relationship starts to effect the way they preform in their studies, then it's time to put them in a different envoironment with an uninvolved party who they may be more open to listening to and learning from. Never use the excuse of, "Oh, it's their fault they're falling behind (in the event that may happen) because they didn't want to do their work." It is your job to make them do their work always, and to investigate the underlying problems of why they may not want to in the first place. As they get older, be sure to pay close attention to all changes in behavior (learning dissabilities, depression) as you will be the only one who is around them 90% of the time to recognize these things.

And lastly, make sure that you always stay up to date on learning requirements for things like the PSAT/SAT/ACT...what scores are needed for what colleges...what AP classes you need to take in highschool...basically what the colleges you & your kids are looking at prefer/require.

Never be afraid to ask for outside help. (tutors, other homeschool moms, spouse, etc.)

Answer 12

From our experience and from trying to help others who are considering homeschooling, the biggest mistake is trying to take someones  style and making it fit for their family.

I recently read (possibly here in Y!A) that if you talk to someone who tells you that their way is the only way, then you need to get another source for advice.   Most homeschoolers want to help you but if you run into one that has all the answers, be a little wary.    

Everyone is different and we have different interests, talents, aptitude, etc.    Homeschooling works well when you consider these variables in learning/teaching.

Another mistake, especially for families like ours who do not have excess money, is to put big dollars into a curriculum.   Experiment with different ways to learn before investing.

And next:   Good advice-  Relax

I think my son learns so much just with conversation.   Conversation initiates  questions and questions lead to research which usually leads to more questions.

Answer 13

Believing they have to recreate the 'school experience' at home; that's a common one I've heard and seen other home-ed families say was a mistake on their parts.

Answer 14

Trying to recreate the classroom experience is a common mistake for newbies.

My biggest mistake was not researching different philosophies of education and the materials available.

There are so many different paths to take, so many different methods that go at different paces but all can end with the same result: a confident,happy,  well educated child that is prepared for his world.   That can mean different things for each family and each child.

I wish I knew about  "unschooling" when I started, I wish I knew about the Robinson Curriculum and the Sonlight Curriculum.   I wish I had read John Taylor Gatto.

I wish I didn't make my kids do every problem on the page and I wish I had thrown out even more of the workbooks that I used.

Most of all, I wish I had taken more time to do the fun stuff.  I was so busy trying to make them complete the allotted number of pages to keep on schedule that I lost many opportunities to have them explore and be creative.

Answer 15

My personal mistake was to try to do it all on my own-for years.  Even a very supportive spouse isn't enough for the long term.  Make a BIG effort to find other homeschooling families, they are almost everywhere.  Just like any group of people, there will be the ones that think only their way is right, that their kids are smarter than yours, and all the other kinds of people that aggravate us all, but getting involved in a group is the best thing you can do for your own sanity.  Also, don't forget to plan for those days when YOU need to take a day off from being teacher.  You'll plan ahead for some sick days and vacation days for the kids, plan in a few sanity saving days for you too.