What are some of the problems with closed adoptions?

Question

I am writing a paper about how open adoption is better than closed adoption. I need to have some problems that closed adoptions have and that open adoptions don't. Thanks in advance!

Answer 1

In many cases of closed adoption it's about identity. Not knowing where you came from and who you look like. Not "fitting in".



Then there's the issue of "why did she give me up?". Not knowing...always wondering, fantasizing, shame. Developing a lack of trust, ownership and self-esteem.

When open adoptions are honored there are no lies and no secrets. It's all out in the open and talked about from the beginning. A child can continue his/her relationship with bio family. Extremely better chances of an emotionally healthy child and adult.

Answer 2

Closed adoptions are more likely to hide fraudulent practices.  There are many mothers whose children are taken 'temporarily' (or so they are told) by child welfare only to be adopted out illegally (no parental permission, no attempt at contacting other relatives, etc. etc.).  Their only crime was living in poor conditions.  

On the other hand, mothers are not told that open adoptions can become closed at any time. There is no law that protects those rights because they don't actually exist. That is because  birth mothers aren't told that they are entitled to separate legal cousel.

Answer 3

Finding the birth parent # 1 problem.

Answer 4

the primary issue, IMO, with closed adoption (absent of abuse) was that it was meant to shield the child and fmom from the stigma of illegitimacy, and the aparents from the stigma of infertility.  any other reasons, are simply conjecture and propaganda.

Answer 5

I cant see anything wrong with closed adoption. My adoption was closed, but I dont live in the US, so the government is different. I do have access to my files, I already had my origional birth certificate before I was 18. The options were there for me to go and find stuff out. I just had to be 18 to do it. I hope america makes some huge changes.

Answer 6

The first one that springs to mind is the difficulty of contacting the birth parent if there is medical information needed.

Answer 7

Mainly the lack of medical history.  So many diseases and medical disorder have a genetic background, it would be nice to know what diseases you a predisposed to getting or what hidden gene's you may pass down to your children.  

I don't care to know who my birth parents are because they are not my family, they simply gave birth to me.  And I by no means want this to sound like I am upset with my birth parents, they did a very unselfish thing giving me up for adoption.  My adoptive parents are my "real" parents, they wanted me, they love me and they raised me to be who I am today.

Answer 8

*no medical history

*wondering WHY I was given away

*discrimination inherent in sealed records (my original records are sealed...as opposed to any other citizen's right to freely obtain the same documents)

*higher possibility of an unethical or illegal adoption when it is closed, sealed, secret, etc.

Answer 9

my husband has a son that was given up. when he signed the papers, they agreed to send him pictures.and what not. it went well until he married me and we have a house and a kid of our own. they wont send us anything now. i understand their feelings,. but i dont like either type of adoption.

Answer 10

This issue is one of the MANY adoption issues I have learned a lot about since joining YA.  I am an adoptive mom, and yet, I had never really thought much about open or closed adoption.  I made a LOT  assumptions that are not the way it is in the real world.  My daughter is 15 now.  She is beginning to seriously think about "discovering" her heritage.  I came to this site to learn more about "helping" her deal with adoption issues.  I have learned so many things here that have completely changed my way of looking at adoption.  One thing that has completely shocked me is that in the year 2008 the adoption laws are still Archaic.  Only 8 states in America allow adoptees to access their birth certificates when they become adults.  8 out of 50 states!  Thankfully, ours is one of those states.  

Why is a birth certificate so important?  It seems like such a small thing to most of us, because we take it for granted.  Have you ever rummaged through your parents attic looking for something?  You find a picture you painted for them when you were in kindergarten.  It touches something inside you.  It connects you to a past experience.  You pick up this knick-knack or that knick-knack, each one triggering a memory.  Then you find a piece of paper.  Your birth certificate.  Wow.  That's me.  I wonder what it was like for my mom and dad that day?  Did they rush to the hospital?  Did they go the wrong way and laugh about it later?  That's a piece of my "self".  When you take that away from me, you take away a piece of "me."  What's worse, is that you take away some of my dignity.

Can you imagine what it's like for an adoptee to be told they CAN NOT have a birth certificate?  What does that mean?  They don't exist?  They weren't born?  It may seem like a piece of paper to us, but that's only because we HAVE our piece of paper.  If the law said we couldn't have it, we might feel differently.  

I tend to be too wordy, so I won't even go into the other reasons that closed adoptions should be a thing of the past.  Though medical history, and so many other reasons would justify that view.

Answer 11

Google 'Genealogical Bewilderment'

Answer 12

i don't own a birth certificate and have a falsified medical history.

Answer 13

First off, everyone has a right to know who they are and where they come from.

Secondly, from a medical standpoint, people need to know their medical history.  Look at breast cancer in women, a girl could come from a family with generations of breast cancer and never know it...in that case, denial of her rights as a person becomes involuntary (or voluntary) manslaughter!

A child who comes from a family with a lot of mental health issues or addictions, needs to know this is in their genes..if only to protect themselves and their children.

Secrets = Shame in the mind of a child.  Keeping secrets creates mistrust, and shame like there is something wrong with being adopted, or something wrong with the child.

There are sooo many reasons.

Answer 14

Closed Adoptions = Secrets & Lies

How is that ever a good thing???

Answer 15

well, u dunno who you look like, why u are the way you are, you  have a totally different personality, interests, outlook, EVERYTHING, to your parents or you're siblings, adopted or not.

and just look at the case of the couple who ended up marrying and turned out to be twins seperated by adoption at birth.(by the way, its criminal to separate twins!!)

you walk down the road lookin at people who look a little like you, wondering, that my father my mother my brother or sister? i know my birth parents general description-hair, eye colour, height and interests. wow cheers.

I felt like an outsider at most extended family gatherings, almost like my cousins didn't really believe we were related.

whenever family trees were being looked up, interesting? yes. me? no.

dont get me wrong, i love my adopted parents to bits, and it upsets me that i dont have an extra close bond to them or my grandparents, like alot of my non adopted friends. i dont think they understand me or my rebellious ways! they didnt understand when i started taking drugs, became very depressed. i didnt know who i was.

by the way any adoptive parents out there - tell ur kids why u had to adopt early on, i still dont know and im 23!i dont wanna ask. never EVER get embarassed or upset when talking about ur childs adoption. think of it as just another topic of conversation, that can be breached any time without the child having to sum up the courage and eventually gettin fed up of asking and start wrecking their heads about it, going over it over and over again, especially when theyre teenagers.one day that little fact that ur adopted will become a very big fact.and this will more than likely end up in a very messed up mind.

of course i live in ireland and it might be possible to find out who they are.. but by now i have so many fantasies runnin around my mind (about what theyre like, do they think about me, have i brothers or sisters, have they tried looking for me.....i could go on forever......) that i will probably just be disappointed. and if id known from the beginning than id know what to expect.

one more thing..if there are any people out there giving up ur child in a closed adoption, write ur baby a letter, telling them that u love them and explaining why they were given away. when the time is right they can be given it(if the adoptive parents bother)

even if there is no identifying info, this would help.i think.

also, ur mother or father could be dead and u wouldnt even know!

ok my long rant is over!

Answer 16

Adoptees of closed adoptions have statistically higher rates of suicide, addiction, teen pregnancy, depression.  Our prisons & residential treatement centers in the U.S. have higher populations of adoptees.  Adoptees are even 17x more likely to become serial killers.  

Google 'closed adoption', too.

http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org

http://www.origins-usa.org

http://www.babyscoopera.com

http://www.b******s.org/bq/babb2.html

Adoption studies:

http://crimemagazine.com/07/adoptionfore...

http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/to...

http://www.angelfire.com/or/originsnsw/w...

Books:

The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier

Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND

Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton

The Adopted break Silence by Jean Paton

The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler

Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner

Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky

Shared Fate by David Kirk

We don't know if open adoption adoptees will fare better, becuase they're not of age yet, and it will probablt take until they're in they're 30s to really know.

As David Kirk, and adoptive parent and therapist says in his book Shared Fate(1964), adoption into families other than 'kin' should be used in an 'emergency' only.

It should always be a last resort.