What are some of the s*x jokes that emmett says in BD?

Question

Ican't remember them and I don't have the book with me and me and my friend are talking about it and we can't remember. All I remember is that they were funny. lol

Answer 1

I love Emmett. He asked Bella if she's knocked down the house yet, and he said "What are you doing? Discussing national debt?" or something like that. XD

Answer 2

yeah... i don't have the book with me, but something about how the cottage was still standing and how he and Rosalie destroyed many houses

Answer 3

OK let me just read ya the whole thing:

"...She's been asking for you--demanding might be a better description. ...we didn't want to...er, bother you." Rosalie bit her lip and looked away, trying not to laugh.  I could feel Emmett's silent laughter behind me, sending vibrations through the foundations of the house.  I kept my chin high.  "We'll get your room set up right away," I said to Renesmee.  "You'll like the cottage.  It's magic."  I look up at Esme.  "Thank you, Esme.  So much.  It's absolutely perfect."  Before Esme could respond, Emmet was laughing again--it wasn't silent this time.  "So it's still standing?"  He managed to get out between his snickers.  "I would've thought you two had knocked it to rubble by now.  What were you doing last night?  Discussing the nataional debt?"

And then this one:

"I still say we should go straight to New Hampshire and get things set up," Emmet said, ovviously continuing an earlier conversation.  "Bella's already registered at Dartmouth.  Doesn't look like it will take her all that long to be able to handle school."  He turned to look at me with a teasing grin.  "I'm sure you'll ace your classes...apparently there's nothing interesting for you to do at night besides study."

And then this one: (they are about to make a bet to the arm wrestling)

"OK, Emmett.  I win, and you cannot say one more word about my s*x life to anyone, not even Rose.  No allusions, no innuendos--no nothing."  His eyes narrowed.  "Deal.  I win, and it's going to get a LOT worse."  He heard my breath stop, and grinned evilly.  There was no hint of bluff in his eyes.  "You gonna back down so easy, little sister?"  Emmett taunted.  "Not much wild about YOU, is there?  I bet that cottage doesn't have a scratch."  He laughed.  "Did Edward tell you how many houses Rose and I smashed?"  I gritted my teeth and grabbed his big hand.  "One, two--"  "Three," he grunted, and shoved against my hand.  

I don't really know if the last one counts as a joke, but I gave it to you anyway.  I thought it was funny..

Answer 4

He's watching a game and talks about "scoring."