What are some other ways to adopt a child besides expensive agencies?

Question

My husband and I have started looking into adoption. I am new to this so I don't know what the average prices are to go through an agency. I called a few agencies and am getting information in the mail from them. One agency charges $30,000. It would be worth it to us if we had it but we just don't have that kind of money. My only hesitation with DHS and foster to adopt is possibly getting attached to a child and having it taken away, either back to the birth parents or to another adoptive family. Could anyone tell me if these fees are indicative of all agencies and if not, does anyone know of a good agency to go through? Is there an easier way to adopt and what is the process? Thanks so much!

Answer 1

Foster-adoption looks like your only option if you can't afford an agency. I think those fees are pretty standard...even for international adoption.

If you decide to look into foster-adoption, you could request that you only be matched with children who are legally freed (parental rights have already been terminated). This will limit the number of children who are available for you to adopt, but it is 'safer' in that there is no chance of reunification with the first family. I adopted through foster care 4-1/2 years ago and my son was not yet legally free when I brought him home.

Don't look for an 'easy' way to adopt. There isn't one. If you're looking to circumvent the system in any way, you will be cheating someone -- either your child, his first family, or both. Go the legal route, follow the rules, and do what you need to do to be ready for parenthood. It's the best way and should be the ONLY way.

Answer 2

If you don't want to have to go through expensive agencies you can google children for adoption in (your state). I was adopted out of a state adoption.

Answer 3

you should look for places that deal with teens who are preganat. u would help with her houseing ,food and things like that until the baby was born. its good for both of u she will know  her baby is getting a good home and u guys get a baby.......

Answer 4

Private adoptions or identified adoptions through an agency are a little less "expensive" if you have a family who you know is looking to make an adoption plan for a child.  That is actually how our adoption started.  

Otherwise, foster adopt is the only other less "expensive" form that I am aware of.  These children do need homes and a loving environment.  Speak to a social worker at your local Dept of Human Services and explain your fears/concerns.  They may be able to help you.  

Also, while agency adoptions do seem "expensive", I can say this about them....1) not all of the fees (for some agencies) are due up front.  Our fees were spread out at different stages of the adoption process.  2) the fees seem "expensive" but are needed to insure that children are going to safe homes.  If the amount of money we spent helped protect one child, then I feel it was worth it.  3) check with your employer to see if they offer adoption assistance.  Many larger companies are helping with the expense of adoption now.

We used Adoptions From the Heart and we had a great experience.  Many of our friends have used them also.  www.adoptionsfromtheheart.org.

Good luck to you.

Answer 5

You can adopt from the state/DHS without doing the foster-to-adopt route. There are around 100,000 children in U.S. foster care right now who are ALREADY legally free for adoption (meaning their biological parents' rights have already been terminated). If you go that route, it's actually LOWER risk than infant adoption, for you. Biological parents who voluntarily relinquish their newborns have a window of time (in most states) in which they can reclaim their child. (It's not a long period of time--not long enough, frankly--but it's there. So you could bring an infant home from the hospital, start to attach, and then have to "give the baby back"--generally called a failed placement. If you do a direct adoption from foster care, on the other hand, there's no chance--zero--of the parents reuniting with the child, because the bio parents have already lost their parental rights.)

If you are set on infant adoption, all I can do is beg you to please do a LOT of research before proceeding. Infant adoption has become big business in the U.S., with demand (for infants) outstripping supply--and this means that some agencies and adoption attorneys will use unethical means to meet the demand (ie, to get women to relinquish their babies for adoption). So research HARD and LONG before choosing an agency/attorney.

Some agencies to avoid:

LDS Social Services

Bethany Christian Services

A Child's Waiting

Easter House (or whatever they're calling themselves today)

Gladney

ANLC (Adoption Network Law Center)

Attorney to avoid:

Michael Shorstein

That is by NO MEANS a comprehensive list, though, so do your research. Sadly, the bad agencies and attorneys seem to outnumber the good ones.

Answer 6

We are using a christian-based agency that has a flat-fee of $20,000 (including homestudy).   They pay all birthmother expenses, etc, not us.   If the birthmom changes her mind, we are not out any of our money.    Because of this, we felt very comfortable using this agency :)

Answer 7

Best wishes.  My sister started out in foster care if you can do that.  They have adopted one of their foster children and are in the process of adopting another.  one was 16 months when they first got her and the other is 4 years old.  The draw back that may be hard is they had 2 others that they did not get to adopt because blood relatives wanted them, but they say it is all worth it because of the 2 they have adopted.  Pray Pray Pray.  It is a big decision

Answer 8

Foster Adoption is under $500 and those funds are reimbursed. www.adoptive-parenting.com/fosteradopt.h...

Answer 9

Sorry, but if you're looking for an easy way, there just isn't.  

There's always a risk; but if the child's mother decides to parent, you shouldn't look at it as a bad thing.  After all, it's not easy for a child to have to lose his or her mother in order to be adopted.  Just be glad a child didn't have to go through the trauma of separation from her or his family.

So many kids are in foster care right now whose parents' rights have already been terminated.  These are the kids that people should be adopting, they deserve love just as much as any other.

Answer 10

Your agency will still charge you $30k if the first / natural mom changes her mind. It happens ALL the time. I would go with foster care. Your chances are better at a lower financial risk.

FYI, there's no such thing as a "birth / biological" mom, any mother who relinquishes her child is called the first or natural mother.