What are some reasons a woman can't climax during s*x?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and think I have only climaxed from s*x once. He does try and its not like I lay there and do nothing, I've tried as well and I just can't. It really annoys me sometimes because I get really close and then it just goes away. Perhaps I pressure myself too much or something. Lately I've been like jealous of him and slightly resentful, which I know I shouldn't because its not really or at least completely his fault and he really does try. I feel bad and sometimes lie about it because I can't. I don't want this to end up being a problem factor in our relationship. I wouldn't break up with him over anything like this, but I just don't want it to grow into a problem and spawn other things. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I had that same issue. You just need to relax because when you constantly worry you will never get there.

Answer 2

I had this problem before and I went to the dr. with it, cause it was causing relationship problems. I was told it was somewhat normal, and there was other ways of reaching climax with your partner. Have you tryed the foreplay before intercourse? HOw about just plain relax? If your having s*x, and worring about whether your gonna reach your climax, that can cause problems too!

It can be very stressful, and upsetting, but do your best not to get mad at him, cause if he's really trying, you could hurt him in the process. Try talking to him, instead of getting upset, maybe you guys can come up with something together to fix it! Thats what ended up happening with me! Now there's no problem! Try to relax and clear your mind of and negative thoughts good luck..

Answer 3

more women than you think have this problem. they just dont reach that point during s*x. let him use his hand (or other things) to bring you to this point or just do it yourself. it is very common.

Answer 4

I think one of the main reasons is it's just harder for women to relax, you are worried about everything, do i look ok, do i smell ok, taste ok, worried about sounds etc you get the idea. So first off just relax, really really relax, good music, whatever and don't worry about any of these things because truth be told most of the things that make women worry are things that actually turn most men on. Second whomever said you needed more clitoral stimulation was absolutelly right. Clitoral stimulation, and lot's of it and combined with simultaneous intercourse. Try on your own too. Sometimes it's easier the first couple of times by yourself because no matter how well he knows your body he'll never know it as well as you do, and when you're all alone you can truly relax and let go. I must say toys don't hurt either. Maybe use a toy on your C**t while he's having s*x with you. Best of Luck to you. Try not to be frustrated (literally) In one of my favorite movies it says "If you build it, they will come) So true but you must build it with clitoral stimulation. Good Luck and know you are not alone. Millions of women are going through the same thing as you. I used to be one of them

Answer 5

I was the same way.

I only had one previous partner before my current beau and we only did 1 time. But now I do everytime.

It took me a little bit of "learning" factors and combining them to find out what I really liked before I could climax.

I started to find out what my guy really liked and that turned me on to know I was pleasing him.

If you don't find this gross watch a few porno's on the intenet or maybe rent one with your guy you will find yourself not watching the dvd after a few minutes. This will not only show you different positions it will also give you some ideas.

Think about what your guys does when you said you get really close and make him keep going with that spot.

Explore yourself, who knows what you like best? YOU!

You have to let yourself go too, don't hold back at all. When you do climax it will be a sensation you havent felt before and you cant hold back or it will go away.

Good luck =)

Answer 6

You are probably putting too much emphasis on it.  It's become a challenge for you instead of a natural occurrence.  If you have a specific thing or person that you think about while masturbating alone to climax, use that same image while with him.  He doesn't have to know what you're thinking during s*x!  

Answer 7

I give her an o****m from oral as part of foreplay.  It makes the one from intercourse much more intense!  

To be honest, intercourse alone doesn't do it for her.

Answer 8

    An o****m is described as a level of sexual arousal that reaches a peak then subsides leaving the participant feeling elated, relaxed and sexually satisfied. It is difficult to describe an o****m because it is different for every female. Women generally describe it as a feeling of being so aroused that you are going to explode.

    Muscles in your body may go into contraction, your hands tighten up, you may arch your back, your facial expression is intense, your breathing pattern changes to short gasps, your legs tremble, your toes curl under. You may make groaning noises, whimper, some women cry out. Because the sensations are so intense and so different for each woman, it like trying to describe a sneeze.

    Are all women capable or reaching o****m? Yes, unless there is some rare congenital abnormality or extensive genital surgery where nerves have been cut. Some women who have had a stroke can still reach o****m. Women who are Spinal Cord injured and are paraplegic or quadraplegic will probably not have a genital o****m but can reach o****m by stimulating other areas of their bodies. Some women who have severe diabetes may not reach o****m because of nerve degeneration.

    Some women have lovely small ripple orgasms, others have massive orgasms. There are women who have one o****m after the other as long as the stimulation continues; for others, one is quite enough for them. There is no normal, all are unique. A few women may have singleton orgasms with one partner and multiple orgasms with another partner. Some women experience a headache after o****m; some start to cry and some start to laugh; this is simply a release of pent-up sexual tension. These reactions quickly pass and you bathe in the afterglow. Be honest about it. Every once in a while, you will have a cataclysmic o****m. He will know it – he'll have the bruises to show for it. There are no rules when it comes to orgasms.

    It is a myth that a female should have an o****m every time she has s*x. There are times when it just will not happen, if she feels fat or ugly, afraid that she might get pregnant or a disease, she may be tired, stressed, angry at her partner, preoccupied with family or finances etc. She may be uncomfortable, even in pain.

    There will be times when all systems are GO and she does not have an o****m. The s*x was good, she is fine, satisfied, happy and contented. She was very aroused then just slid over the top and into the "refractory period" but she is still purring.

    Here is where your partner enters the scene. Do not ask "DIDJA COME?" This puts pressure on her to have an o****m to convince you that you are a good lover and capable of satisfying her. She may be tempted to fake o****m just to have you believe that you are that good. Faking o****m is destructive to a relationship that is based on honesty and trust. If your partner is dishonest, the trust level is shattered and that can be very damaging to a relationship.

    Ladies, be honest, "No, I didn't have an o****m but you are great, I feel wonderful, WOW, you are da man." Guys, accept that.

    HOW TO HAVE AN o****m for FEMALES

    Most women reach their first o****m all by themselves. Few things you have to do before you begin. First, you have to:

        * 1. Become comfortable with your own body.

        * 2. Look at the messages you got as a kid about "self pleasuring"(masturbation). Bad, dirty, dangerous?

        * 3. Give yourself permission to fantasize about s*x. Read a s**y novel, romance pocket book, allow yourself to get turned on. You can't m********e without fantasy. Read our web site on female masturbation.

        * 4. Give yourself permission to stimulate yourself, Learn what pleasures you, all by yourself.

        * 5. Share that information with your partner, guide your partner so he can make the moves that are pleasurable for you.

    There are a few basics you need to know. For most females, p***s size is not important. Bigger is not better. Most women do not reach o****m with sexual intercourse. Most women reach o****m by clitoral stimulation, either manual, oral-genital contact or a vibrator.

    Here are a few great books that will be helpful: 'The Big Book of Masturbation' from Down There Press; 'The Good o****m Guide' by Kate Taylor; 'Self Love and o****m' and 's*x For One', both by Betty Dobson; 'Turn Ons, Pleasing Yourself While You Please Your Lover' by Dr. Lonnie Barbach; 'Orgasms' by Tara Barker; 'For Yourself' by Dr. Lonnie Barbach; 'Understanding the G-spot' by Donald Hicks; and 'Great s*x' by Anne Hooper.

Answer 9

Have you been able to have orgasms in the past with past boyfriends?  Has anything major changed it your relationship?  Its important that you talk to him and tell him what you're going through.  s*x is meant for both of you to enjoy.  Maybe you should look into trying out some toys in the bedroom.  Does his do oral on you?  Or maybe you have some sort of mental block, thinking too much or something?  These are just some suggestions I can think of.

Answer 10

many women don't climax during s*x. You're normal.  Stop putting so much pressure on both of you. He can help you climax in other ways...

Answer 11

Your C**t isnt being stimulated enough. Tell him to rub it while ur doing it. Try different positions like from the back or reverse cowgirl. These are positions that stimulate that area alot.  

Answer 12

I read an article just yesterday that suggested that the #1 reason women can't climax is emotional. If you are feeling jealous and resentful then your emotions are all mixed up and they get in the way. Try just focusing on how much you love him and how much he is trying to take care of you sexually. That might help, if not, get some lube with any kind of warming sensation to help you out. It's like riding a bike, once you get it down you can have at least one every time!