What are some reasons to appreciate life being alone?

Question

i was born from a lost[adopted] to sum things up,allot of bad stuff happened to me in life[been sexually abused, practically all of my family betrayed me ,embarrassed me..etc] my ex cheated on me[who i was supposto marry] ..i really feel like there's no one that love me and sometimes i want to give up on life, and there's no one left to show me any sort of love .i am very week and b/c ima quiet person so many family try to take advantage of me b/c i don't have a mother/ father in my life .. sometimes i try praying to god but he doesn't answer my prayers..sometimes i dont think i have the strenght to move on w/ life , i am depressed and sometimes i turn to drugs and what nourishes me also destroy me .i need strenght to live life ..school is the only thing i do good in but i feel as though nothing matters if i don't have love.i gave up on allot of things and before i think more about reasons for not living ..does anyone know of any comforting song or advice that can help me?theres so much hurt and pain inside me.how do i begin to seek happiness??where does happiness come from?

Answer 1

ok, before i try to say anything, here's a BIG cyber hug.  i'm so, so, so sorry you are having to deal with ALL of that.  no one should have to go through what you've been through.  i am a Christian, and many will probably knock that, and it's ok.  but i do believe in God, and i do believe that He genuinely loves you.  His love never fails.  i know what it's like to pray and feel like your prayers are hitting the ceiling.  trust me!  on top of that, there are so many churches that have leaders who don't really care.  i wish i could refer you to a place of people who i knew cared.  you might google focus on the family to find some support near you.  i wish i could be a friend to you, but i guess this will have to do.  hang in there, girl.  another hug!  much love to you as you continue on this journey.  don't give up!!  this is the night, but the day WILL come.

Answer 2

I can hardly imagine how it's like to be in your position.

Not that I have a very loving family, a very super life or something... But i'm not in your shoes, that's for sure...

My recommendation for u is to read Osho. He helped me when I was feeling without direction in my life. And that was the spark moment in my life since when everything started to have meaning.

The only thing I can say is about happiness. Because it's my experience, and I know it works, and I've understood the process.

Hapiness is just the shadow of your natural expression.

If a person let his nature to manifest itself spontaneously, then happiness is the shadow of this manifestation.

Life's goal, or one of many goals may be, is to express itself in the external world. And everyone has a life inside which needs expression exactly as it is inside.

When a person is spontaneous, she is bound to be happy in the process...

So the goal is to observe reality, your reality, your nature, what's inside, what's outside of you. In this way you start to understand your nature, your needs. Your needs are part of your nature.

Or you might say the sum of your needs is your nature.

The trick observation does is as follows:

Needs are between the observer, and the external world.

If you connect this observer with the external world (your emotions, your body, your surroundings, your environment), then where are those needs supposed to go?...They are pushed towards external world.

In this way, you know for sure that your needs will start to manifest. And happiness will follow.

The hard part in the process is that we have a lot ot prejudices and preconceptions which obstruct this expression.

But if you decide yourself that u really want to be happy, that should not be a problem.

----

Besides this, it's important to create some objective. To start to write down what you want in your life.

How would you want to feel on a personal level?

How would you want to feel in a relationship?

What parter would u want?

What profession?

How u feel socially?

Make an objective out of these, and be aware of this objective all the time.

This objective, after all is just the first expression of your needs.

And, as with your needs, it will be pushed towards external world and it will manifest, and you will enjoy it:)

To sumarize:

observer => needs+objective => external world

Link observation to the external world.

Watch external world closely and continuously, without judging it, and your needs and your objective will not have a choice to go elsewhere than physical world.

You will be happier each day in this way.

This is my experience.

but, read Osho. He's the master:P

Answer 3

I can relate to all you've said and probably more besides too.

Its hard I know first hand to believe in yourself when you've been adopted. I automatically believe, in my weaker moments that no-one will ever love me, if my own mother couldn't.

I've turned to alcohol more times than I care to remember to try and block out the pain. More often than not, in my sober moments, it just adds to the self hate and destruction I have for myself.

Firstly, I'd say don't be so hard on yourself. There is someone out there for you, probably more than one. I truly believe in that. You need to like yourself before anyone will ever truly love you though or else it'd always be on the wrong foot to start with.

I realise that's easier said than done but in saying that, it can be done.

Everything you've written above, I've learnt none of it matters. What someone did to you, who cheated on who etc, none of it matters.

All you need is within you now - it doesn't come from others and it never will. Someone loving will, won't fix you, only you can do that.

I'd strongly recommend a therapist. Talking to someone was extremely beneficial to me. Maybe The Samaritians can help. I also use a website called Recover your life alot (link below) Its full of information and a great forum where you can chat to other people in similar situations as you.

For my own issues and to re-wire my brain I use these self help cds/books by a really successful guy in America called Anthony Robbins. I find he helps me alot. Not only to start putting into practice some methods of believing in myself but also on days when I lack motivation too. I find them really helpful. They're expensive cds but you can get cheap copies on ebay too.

Also, you don't mention friends only your family. I have made some fantastic friends more online than anything but I take comfort in them too. I like to believe friends are the family you choose for yourself.

You also say you're good at school, take comfort in that. Fall into your studies, become successful and build yourself a better life and prove them all wrong. Thta's my motivation on a bad day too - proving them all wrong. I don't tell them so, its enough for me to know I'm doing it.

As for a comforting song, I find Mariah Carey's - Through The Rain speaks to me personally and I find great strength in the song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EetzQsoik...

Good luck in all that you do and keep on, keeping on.

You can do it.

Answer 4

Im sure you can phone the samaritans or a child abuse hotline,even if it is just to chat to them i'm sure they'd would be willing

If you go to school don't you have friends you can talk to or something and usually schools have councillors that you could talk to as well

It sounds like you've suffered a lot in your life but you still have your whole life ahead of you, you have no idea what could happen in your future yet and you may still meet the person of you dreams

sometimes thinking that is the only thing that keeps me sane too.

Answer 5

Keep on going strong for yourself. Do yourself a favour. If you give up on life now, you're really losing the fight. And your life is one fight that is definitely worth fighting for. And as for God, he answers your prayers in different ways. He's got plans for you. You have to remember that he is not a genie. Since you're good at school, study and get a great job. Start a new life for yourself. Leave the past behind. Show the world and the people who betrayed you that you're stronger than them and that they cannot bring you down.

"A Voice Within" by Christina Aguilera is a good song,

and "Fighter" is a good song as well.

Edit: Also, stay off the illegal substances, before it totally consumes you. I know how this story can end if you don't stop the drugs now.