What are some signs that a person is beginning to rebound from a hurtful divorce ?

Question

Some things are obvious I am sure, but it is strange that no matter how much you hated that spouse, there is a long period of adjustment for many women and men.

Answer 1

You have to take the time to re-discover yourself and who you are as an individual rather than who you are as half of a couple.  Failure to do so is unfair to whoever might be next in line.  You have to get to the point that you don't feel spite toward the opposite s*x based on one persons actions.

If you are starting a new relationship with someone recently divorced and that person seems distant at times, then it is probably safe to say that they haven't fully recovered from the previous heartbreak.  New relationships are supposed to be exciting.

Answer 2

Yes, many of the signs are often overlooked. They can be found in small accomplishments that may seem trivial. One writer referred to these as "the seeds beneath the snow". If a person can recognize them and nurture them, they will eventually yield secure new identities and independence. Here are just a few my patients have shared with me through the years. (1) Eating alone with your children, without being aware of the empty chair (2) Mastering the intricacies of family living such as handling the finances , learning to cook, or learning to cook a new recipe. How about learning to fix that leaking faucet. (3) Beginning to enjoy free time (4) Positive new feelings. How many times have you heard this statement ie. "I really thought I would die when he/she left, but I didn't. ! (5) Letting go of the anxieties and hostilities from the broken marriage. And especially for working women (6) You get increasing satisfaction from your job.  These are but a few of these "seeds" but hopefully they are some signs that a divorced person may have overlooked while concentrating on the Big Things that are much more obvious. Nurture the small seeds, such as these, and feel the growth.    by Dr. James C. Ronning

Answer 3

I will answere from my personal experience in September 2006 my wife of 23 years told me that she did not love me and had not loved me for a long time.  This was after putting her through college and nursing school for the past 5-6 years, my sons and I sacrificed alot for her to attend her schooling and training.  

The divorce was bitter and was final in may 2007 she met her new husband in Jul7 2007, got engaged in December 2007, married in April 2008.  I never wanted the divorce and tried to talk her out of it.  She just fell out of love with me.

How am I rebounding well in MArch 2008 I met somebody and she has helped me alot on how to deal with my emotions about the divorce, how I feel about it.  THis person i a good friend but due to family issues on her side( Traditional Family) we cannot get married.  

I believe thqt it takes about two years to really get over a divorce emotionally and physically.  Just go outhere and have fun date responsibly, practice dafe s*x and try not to dwell on the past. There is only a few cases that you can look back and got back with their old spouse would it be worth it?  

I recommend that you to a perty that a friend is throwing, maybe you will meet someoone there, ask your friends if they know anyone that i s available, Go out with friends to bar and maybe you will meet someone there, get involved with your local community, or take a class.  

I wish you the best of luck/