What are some things to help spouses get through first deployments?

Question

My friends husband is getting ready to deploy and I haven't had to go through a deployment yet, so what are some good tips on getting through a first deployment as a married couple?

Answer 1

Keep yourself busy! Work , volunteer, anything. Do not sit by the phone waiting to hear from your husband. To keep yourself sane you must keep yourself busy.

I knew way to many wives who got themselves depressed and upset by sitting around waiting for their husband to come home. A relationship with somebody will not survive when woman do that.

I worked 2 jobs and volunteered my weekends with the Young Marines.

I always kept this thought in my head.

He is busy, so I should be busy.

He is working, so I should work as well.

Time goes by decently when you keep yourself busy.

I missed my husband so much when he was gone, but i didnt let my lonliness take over my life.

And soon he was home in my arms.

Deployments were espeicaly hard for me since I was used to being thre Marine on the other side and now I was the wife.

Answer 2

Good info in some of the other posting  - email helps.  You can talk with her about him too - his family can help too if they are supportive of the marriage.

Remind her that this makes the time they spend together even more special and that he is going thru the same thing too.

Answer 3

Basically stay around a good group of people.

Stay away from drugs, alchole,cheaters,clubs,bars,etc.

Perhaps tell her to take up taking a few college courses online, hang around you as much as possible and/or go back to her parents and spend time with them.

Answer 4

stay away from s****s, cheating wives and clubs you will be fine then........oh and find a hobby that helps too

Answer 5

Stay busy.

Get a 2nd job, take some classes at the local community college, get involved in a church (or other) group, get involved with spouse support groups on base, volunteer at a local charity, learn a new hobby, spend time with family and friends.

Stay in contact.

Write letters, make sure he has a pre-paid phone card, send care packages, if he has on-line access make sure you set up times to meet up on-line and chat (maybe via webcam?)

Stay positive.

You're going to miss him - but you knew when you married him (or when he enlisted) that he could be getting deployed. Keep your chin up and don't express too many negative feelings to him while he's deployed. He'll be worrying about you as is and adding stress to him only means he's not paying as much attention to his job.

Answer 6

I am not married but I am a military girlfriend and I am currently going through my first deployment. one of the things that gets me through is my friends and my military friends. you should give her this site militarygirlies.omgforum.net it has helped me a lot to talk to the people on here.