What are some things you had at your wedding that you could have totally done with out?

Question

What are some things that were part of the budget, that looking back, weren't really necessary (eg: favors, alcohol, a fancy dinner, certain decor, a videographer, a professional photographer)?

Just your personal opinion on what things you could have done without.

I personally will for sure have a professional photographer, but it seems like a lot of women have amateur ones and don't regret it. I am passing on the favours though, and I am wondering if any brides who have actually had them found them to be a waste in the end?

Answer 1

I don't know that I could have done without anything that I did. But I did choose not to hire a videographer and just have a friend videotape it, which I do not regret. It's a nice video that was free! :)

And like some people are saying, please do NOT skip giving favors. Ever. No matter how cheap they are like candy or whatever, you HAVE to give favors of some sort! It's definitly in poor taste not to.

Answer 2

The darn birdseed that we used instead of the traditional rice. People just got way too carried away and wouldn't stop throwing it.

Answer 3

My daughter had favor bags filled with chocolates and little bottles of bubbles.  I ended up bringing home at least half of each.  If we were doing it over, I would suggest passing on both.

One thing I would do differently:  At the reception, I would still have had the DJ introduce the wedding party as we came in the door, then had a period of 10 or 20 minutes for mingling.  But THEN, I would have had the DJ announce something like, "Hey folks, this is a big day, it's been a busy day, and we have some hungry people here.  So the parents of the bride and groom are heading for the buffet table.  They're going to jump to the front of the line and get their own plates as well as plates for their son and daughter.  I know everyone will understand if we ask for just 20 minutes to give them time to get a bite to eat, and then they'll all be ready to visit and party some more."

Someone with a lot more tact than I have would need to reword that.  The intent isn't to insult anyone; it's just to remind the guests that the bride and groom and their parents need just a few minutes to eat without being interrupted!

Answer 4

We paid extra money to have our table flower center pieces set on top of fancy silver candelebra stands.  They had ivy pieces hanging down.  We had disposable cameras on the tables for the guests to take pictures with and every picture has the candelebra or ivy hanging in the guests faces!  Bad choice.

As for the wedding favors, don't skimp on them.  It is considered a little thankyou gift from the wedding couple to the wedding guests for attending the wedding.  If you skimp on them, it WILL be noticed by your guests and they will feel a bit snubbed by you and will think it is rude.  It does not have to be an expensive favor.  Hersheys kisses in a little box or bag with ribbon.   A cheap little picture frame from a craft store with pretty paper inside saying "Thank you for sharing our special day......Sara and James    September 22, 2009".  Though no one will say anything to you about you not doing favors, guests will talk about you on their way home..."I can't believe that Sara and James did not have favors...that was kind of rude, don't you think?"   It is the one thing that the guests look for as soon as they sit down at the table...what kind of freebie do they get.   You are better off to take off 2 guests from the guest list to afford the favors.

Answer 5

I worked as an assistant wedding planner for seven years, so I learned a LOT of things for my wedding when I did have it!  Here are some things that I did that I totally did not regret:

- I had my flowers made at a craft store, and only had fresh flowers on the table (which the site I had my wedding at provided)  I chose flowers that looked very classic and hand-dried (my theme was ivory and red) and they looked awesome--and still look awesome today as a centerpiece!

- I had a light hour d'ourve wedding--fancy finger sandwiches, cheese platter, cocktail shrimp and other fancy finger foods.  The wedding started at 6, and no one really wanted to eat a huge meal anyways--we save so much money that way!

- I had a family member take the photos--She is a great photographer, so they came out just as nice--plus she already knew our family and knew what pictures to take :)

Things I wished I hadn't skrimped on:

The DJ--I got a cheap DJ, and he spent half of the wedding outside smoking and playing dorky songs (I gave him a list of songs that he completely ignored.

A videographer(even if it is a family member)--Everyone told me it was a waste of money, so I never got one--I regret not having my wedding taped!

Last bits of advice:

- Don't waste time on the tiny details

- Make sure the cake tastes good (so don't get that pretty fondant cake, because fondant does NOT taste good)

- Have your wedding near a hotel so family members don't have to drive home drunk

- HAVE FUN!!!  :)

Answer 6

Well, I'm not married yet, but I can tell you as a guest what I've never cared about, and I can tell you as a person planning a wedding for myself, and assisting 3 friends in planning theirs what we think is important and what's not:

Favors are a waste of time, unless they're edible, and even then, they may or may not get eaten.  None of us go to a wedding expecting great food or a huge meal- we eat before we go because we're usually expecting dry chicken.  We really don't want a big dinner, because we want to drink and dance, which is hard to do when your belly can't be sucked in because you're so full and you just want to go home and go to bed.  None of us notice how expensive things are- we just notice when they look really cheap.  Stay away from balloons and plastic silverware, and paper plates if you can- they can make the whole thing look cheap.  We also don't notice how decorated the church is most of the time.  Churches are beautiful; they don't need $1000 worth of flowers.  We don't notice a lot of the "little extra details" in the decor.  Put crystals on it if you want to, but it doesn't mean we'll see them.  We don't care too much what they cake looks like- we just want to eat it.  If we're going to eat, we would much rather eat food that tastes good than food that is "a culinary masterpiece."  

Things to spend money on: Slide shows of the couple are great in the church before the wedding, they keep us entertained while we wait for people to be seated, but we don't want to have to sit there and attentively watch them during the reception.  We like coloring books and activities for kids- many of us don't have kids, and it keeps us from having to hear them run around and scream- for those that do have children- it's easier to manage them when they're not bored.  Every bride I know said the pictures were the best money she spent.  Find a photographer you like, perferably one that's inexpensive.  Just because they cost more it doesn't mean they're better.  Choose based on quality, not price.  We all stay longer when the music is good, and we can dance to it.  Jazz bands are nice for the dinner hour, but I would strongly suggest a DJ for at least part of the night if not all of it.  We like to see a happy couple- we don't stick around if the bride is off fuming bad because something went wrong.  We appreciate the bar.  We don't get wasted, but we enjoy a glass of wine or beer to relax and celebrate the occasion.  If you have a full bar, be prepared for REALLY drunk people on the dance floor.

That's all I can think of for now...  Good luck, and congrats!!!

Answer 7

We could have done with a bit less food, honestly everyone ate til they were bursting and there was still a load left.  However, as we catered the wedding ourselves (my hubby and his friends are all chefs) we were able to freeze a lot of stuff that was left over and we also sent family home with "doggy bags" of steak!!

Answer 8

Too be honest...I think my wedding would have been much better if it were held to family and best friends only...that would have cut about 50 people out of the wedding...made it much less expensive and it wouldn't have been wasting time catching up with people that were only invited due to work relations or friendships that were in the past...

Other than that...I probably shouldn't have agreed to pay for the open bar after the limit was reached...again...50 less guests and I would have been better off.

Answer 9

hm...would have completely did without the tins for the personalized M&Ms (everyone ate the M&Ms and left the tins).  Now I have all these wedding tins I don't know what to do it.  I also would have ordered less food, because its not like we got to take any of it with us (thanks to my @$$hole in-laws).  Oh and I wouldn't have ordered a case of wine because our location, who originally told us we could have it, decided a week before the wedding that we couldn't (or my husband was completely lying to me the entire time).

Answer 10

TOTALLY in retrospect (dammit) I could've for sure done without my second wife's being there at all...

Answer 11

It all depends on your budget and if you have to skimp on something else.

Skip if possible

chair covers if the chairs look ok

specialized linens- most places offer white for free

videography-photos tell the story.  Plus you can have a family member tape it!

realy jewelry- dont spend on diamonds and gold unless you are sure to wear it again, silver and crystals look just as nice

pedis-if you are wearing closed toe shoes (unless you are doing a tropical honeymoon)

open bar-do an open hour for cocktail or drink tickets, cash for the rest.  Its a very large expense

personalized favors-no one but you and your mother want a frame with your names and wedding date.  DO something more generaly most people will like-edibly, glasses, ect

flowers-do the bouquets but dont overdo it.  flowers are a big clost and only last a little while.  Pottred plants and silk flowers can be a great alternative for centerpieces and decor.

Answer 12

Looking back now, I would have had a smaller wedding and probably a simpler wedding.  I think that I would have done it in someone's backyard and had the reception in someone's house with only close friends and family there.

Don't get me wrong I don't really regret what we did but I don't think that I would have missed anything to have a simpler wedding and probably with a lot less planning involved.