What are some tips for roommate and social success at college?

Question

Hey everyone, I'm quite socially inept. I've got decent looks and a pleasant personality, but I'm not the life of the party and I'm VERY shy. This gets in the way quite a bit when it comes to making friends, even though I KNOW that there's nothing wrong with me, I still fear rejection and such. Anywho, I am rooming with 3 other girls. I got my roommate assignments about a month ago, but could only get into contact with one of them. That was a little awkward, and we haven't talked since. I haven't tried calling the other two again, and I'm moving up in about 2 weeks. I'm just afraid it's going to be extremely awkward the first day. The girl said that her and one of the other girls are best friends, and I'm sure the third girl already has friends as she's a junior. I mean, where do I even begin to start? I know we don't have to be all best friends but I want to get along with them well and be at least casual friends.

Okay, here's another thing. I don't know anyone up at school, except for this one girl who's going there. We hung out once and it was fun, but she doesn't seem too interested in being friends, since I hadn't heard from her since that day until I texted her a few days back and the conversation was short. Should I forget it or try to develop this friendship a little?

I'm sorry for all these elementary questions but I'm really afraid. I just want to have a couple of friends up there and to be able to meet a lot of people and have a good time, even with my personality faults. What's the best thing to do? Thanks for the help!

Answer 1

pealover17, don't be too accommodating.  Sometimes politely tell them you want to be by yourself.  When they plan to go somewhere, ask if you can tag along.  Don't be talking all the time, but occasionally speak your mind.  It will be nerve wracking, but think of it as an adventure?  You'll be surprised.  You might be a wall flower, and then really come into your own in college.  Just don't be too accommodating and people pleasing!  You might be a late bloomer?  Might be the greatest time of your life?  

Answer 2

Hey, relax!  :]  Maybe you'll find that you get along naturally really well with all your roommates.  And if not, go to lots of parties and eat lunch on campus and try to talk to the people you sit next to in class.  It'll be fine, just relax and try to be your wonderful self.  It's always hard to start over, but it's a good experience, and it can be really fun!