What are some tips to continue extended rear facing?

Question

My son is 16 months and has been rear facing since birth (obviously). His seat has always been rear facing in the middle of the seat, but for the past few weeks he has been protesting every time we put him in the car. He arches his back, kicks his feet, slides down the seat, rolls over and sits on the side of the seat. Just to see what was going on I turned his seat around to face forward but still be in the middle and he kept protesting. Today I turned it forward and put it on one of the sides, and he sat right down and loved it.

I know that it's probably just the change that made him happy, but I really don't want him forward facing, especially on one of the sides. I would be willing to settle for forward facing in the middle if I absolutely have to, but I don't want to.

So, do you have any tips or suggestions on other ways to resolve his problem other than what we've already found? Thanks a ton!

Answer 1

Have you heard of MUM MUMS?

We got some, they are rice rusks. Well, I also give him one and he chills out and is happy. It is easy and not messy or sticky and not really filling or fattening. I also have a lot of books in the car too. No matter how much you have to put up a fight at the end of the day it was better. Sometimes I just want to give up. I imagine what he would look like if he were forward facing in my head and then I love what I see, then I pretend, in my head, that someone hits us, then I say no. Sometimes while we are driving I pretend it and imagine how it might be and that keeps me keeping him RF. So, when you get to that point of, "It's time", just imagine that and what could happen.

My son was born April 14, 2007; yours?

Answer 2

Try going out to the car a few minutes before you have to go and letting him crawl and walk around in there, touch everything, etc. and then strap him in the car seat after a few minutes. This has worked marvelously for us.

I'm sure you have toys and books for the car, but maybe try switching them out every so often so there are car-only toys that he doesn't see that often.

I would stop short of offering snacks and beverages in the car, atleast not on a regular basis since I don't think it's a very good habit and he could throw them and get your seats dirty.

You could try sitting in the back with him when both your husband and you are in the car although this one I've found can sometimes backfire since they see you and want out.

The most successful thing for us is to let him "explore" the car first.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I have four children, from almost 7 down to 14 months (#5 due in January).  I keep them rear-facing until around 1 1/2 years of age, because it's safer.  At that point, they tend to look a bit uncomfortable to me with their legs, and I'm less concerned about safety.

If a child of mine does something like that when being put down on the floor, or in their crib, or in their stroller, or car seat, or whatever, I would swat them firmly on the leg and say firmly "No," and in this case, "sit still."  If it continued after a few seconds, I would swat again.  Repeat as necessary.  This also applies to other areas of disobedience as well.

Answer 4

I think we all struggle with this.  I mentioned that we will soon be turning Emma around forward to my husband and he asked me if we had to.  I said no, and he asked me which is safest.  I know rear facing is safer, but it is just so much more convienent to have them face you.  Have you thought about having him rear facing on the side?  That might just work.  Or, buy him a new toy that is just for the car.

Answer 5

Babies can face forward at 12 months or 20lbs..whichever comes last.  I couldn't imagine putting my 16 month old son in a rear facing car seat.

Even forward facing, my son sometimes protests and goes limp, or stiffens in protest.  

I either try to distract him with a toy or tell him in a stern voice that it's time to buckle in.

Answer 6

We went through this with my daughter around the same time.

We did a couple of things.  The big one was always asking for her "help" or do it "by herself".  She loved to help and she loved to do it by herself.  She liked to try to climb in on her own - yes, it may have taken a little longer, but probably not much longer than trying to wrestle a screaming, kicking baby into the seat.  She'd hand me the straps, or hold the bottom fastener.  I made a big deal of not being able to do it without her help, ridiculous exagerrated faces and noises.  She loved it.

We also had a few "car-only" toys to try to keep her amused.  Sometimes that worked.

Is it fool-proof? Nah, she still will try to throw the fit, but, it's maybe once every two weeks.  She's still rear-facing at almost 26 months.  You're right, it IS much safer - 4-5 times safer, in fact. More facts on riding rear-facing below.  Kudos to you on doing what's best for your baby, not what's easist.

Answer 7

Is he over 20 lbs? If he is, then there should be no problem putting him forward facing. I also have my daughter's carseat in the middle and it works great for us.  

Answer 8

A good part of this really has nothing to do with a car seat.  Your son--and others around the same age--are beginning to discover the power of protest, and of exherting their own preferences for things.  Unfortunately, often it means they fuss about stuff because they have no other means to say, "You know, I really don't want to have to go anywhere right now."  All three of mine went through this, and frankly, they'll do it whether they're forward facing or rear facing; it's about having a say in what happens to them--or attempting to have a say.  The car seat isn't optional and usually taking baby along with you isn't optional.  So the healthiest thing you can do for everyone is to just as calmy as possible, and firmly, put baby in the seat, buckle him up, and let him be mad about it.  I'd always say (and still do even to my teenagers), "Oh well, you'll just have to be mad about it."  I won't rob them of the expression and as your son gets older, he'll learn more constructive ways to speak his mind.

On a more practical note, have something handy like a small toy or other safe object, perhaps one that is reserved for car rides only--someone suggested a snack and that's a good idea.  You just need something to distract him enough to get him buckled up.  Distraction is an art and takes practice.  We call it the "reset button".  Sometimes just being suddenly silly or making a strange face or singing a new song will be enough to make your toddler look up at you quizzically, mid-scream and then you can snag the moment and snap those buckles closed.  I do not recommend "swatting" a child's leg who is screaming.  This isn't a discipline issue.  This is a personal growth issue, and it's not about bad or good.  Also try to take note whether this problem is worse if you're trying to go somewhere when your son was in the middle of something (they cognitively have a problem with transitioning from one activity to another, something we take for granted how to do ), or if he might be hungry or tired.  Or any combination of the above.  

At this age they are craving stimulation and want to take in every detail of the world around them.  Facing forward provides them visually with much more stimulation than a hanging toy or the back seat tapestry can.  And if your child is over a certain length and/or weight but still in an infant seat, that's not actually safe.  If he's in a regular sized car seat but facing backwards, keep in mind that this might be very uncomfortable for his little legs.  I wouldn't want to be cramped up like that either.  Check with your local fire department as they will have alot of information (or should) about car seat usage and safety.  Perhaps you'll discover that there is such a small margin of difference in the safety of facing forwards versus facing backwards, that it isn't worth the battle.  A bigger problem with safety is having the car seat installed improperly, which the fire department can check for you.

Answer 9

I understand that you don't want him facing forward but since he is over a year old you can start facing him forward in the car.  I would just put him in the middle.  He is just being fussy about it because he really want to see outside the window the way you are it looks more interesting to him.  

Answer 10

Bella (now 2 yo) went through this phase. I started calling her carseat a "big girl chair" and I let her crawl in and buckle herself. and I tell her how much she's helping me. This worked like a charm for us, lol...she just wants to be grown so fast...sigh.....