What are some ways to deal with adult peer pressure?

Question

Ok, here’s the deal.

I am 31 years old, and will be 32 as of December. Out of all of my friends and Family around my age, I’m the only one without any children.

Most of my friends and family live in other states, or in my home state from where I moved away from about a year ago, I still maintain contact with most of them, and enjoy talking to them on the phone and email from time to time. One of the topics that always seem to come up when I talk to a lot of my friends and older members of my family is the question “do you have any children yet?” Sometimes I feel like I’m being pressured into having something I used to openly express a lot when I was younger, but find myself getting angry about it because< I don’t have any children, but have none.

For the note, I am in a serious relationship where the topic has been discussed before, and she’s ok with it as well. The only problem is I never gotten anyone pregnant ever in my life. I was previously married to another woman, in which we both tried having children but, it just never happen (which is actually a good thing, considering we are divorced)

I just wonder how I can get people to stop bringing this up, because It fills me with anger by reminding me of what I have not achieved in life, and it seems people are kind of rubbing it in my face.

Answer 1

First of all...forget about thinking that having a child is something to &quot;achieve&quot;!  You will not be a failure if you never have a child.  Also, 32 is not old at all when it comes to starting a family!!  ?You have many good years to become a parent, and coming from a young parent, you will enjoy your children that much more the older you are...TRUST ME!

Think of something witty and sharp to say in return that shocks the person into shutting up...this always works with me.  

Like this one: &quot;we&#039;re waiting to see how yours turn out before we decide&quot;  :)

Answer 2

The people who ask don&#039;t mean anything bad when they ask you. I think it&#039;s just culture. Your suppose to get married and have children. Plus if you come from a big family who is actually close to each other, family bond or ties are strong and kids are natural way of continuing that family bond.

If your not ready for kids, be honest and tell them so.

If your trying and nothing yet, just say &quot;where having fun trying&quot; and leave it at that.

Don&#039;t just have a kid with your girlfriend because you feel pressured by family. Make sure you really want the responsibility and you&#039;re able give love and raise that kid properly because your family is certainly not going to.

Answer 3

If you are truly an adult you can handle the pressure, and dismiss it. You have to do what is right for you and when you are ready you will do it. Bringing a child into the world is a serious thing and you are not ready you may resent the child or the other parent. So when people ask you that just say I&#039;ll have kids when the time is right.