What are the Effects of a Newborn being Separated from his/her Mother?

Question

then adopted by strangers

Answer 1

I mean if you are saying will a baby grow up wondering who his/her mother is. Or will they grow up resenting their adoptive parents. That would be hard to answer as each adoption is different and each person is different.

Answer 2

If the child is older they may have some issues at firest bc they havent been able to deal with these feelings. I know I had some issues when I was adopted but I was an older child and hadnt been showen or talked to someone about why things had happen they way they did.

We adopted our daughter from birth. She was eight weeks early and we had her from day one while she was in the NICU. For people to sit here and say oh they cant bond with the adopted family that is nothing but BS!!!!! Our daugher she her birth mom at least three times a week, (she is our neice) and she wants nothing to do with her. and dont sit here and say she doesnt know she is. Because you guys on here sit here evereday and say oh they know who the birth mom is. I do believe a child knows when he or she is wanted. Wither that be a birth mom or an adopted parents  SO, you can sit here and say oh they cant bond withthe adopted mother or father but I will disagree with you. A family adopts a child bc they are wanting to love this child .YES there are some adoptions that go wrong, to where they will beat the child, or ever worse kill the child but not every adoption is that way. My daughter has bonded with me and my husband from day one.

Answer 3

maybe I and others I have spoken to are the minority here but speaking for me and my daughter who I placed at adoption We felt no deep loss or anything of that sense. I was placed right after birth so I do not know if my birthmom held me or any of that  but I know I have no recollection of her or desire for her except to know what my nationality is and medical background for my own kids and my own sake.

My daughter I placed for adoption also at birth I after reading a story from someone on this whole loss thing asked her and she like me also had no sense of loss or anything missing

Frankly I wonder how many of those adopted who have had rough times do not find it easier to blame it on that? or possibly they have been handed down genetically some disorders that led to them making bad choices and find it easy again to blame the adoption

Believe me I had a tough life BUT it was not due to a loss or a lack of great parenting on my parents part It was more due to genetic make up and fetal alcohol syndrome that effected me.

Mind you this is JUST my thoughts

One poster said they did not get colostrums well neither did the kids I raised as I never breastfed They however do not have any less a bond to me. I had one that was in the hospital for a couple weeks after birth and I went to bottle feed him daily 4 times a day he has had no bonding issues

I think all kids bond differently both adopted and non adopted.

Answer 4

My favorite term is "genealogical bewilderment."  

For me the effects of being relinquished at birth (and spending a month in an incubator, then a month with foster parents before being adopted) have been: feeling unreal, insecure, less than others, obligated to prove I was as good or better than everyone else, a little bit picked on (kids do that), frustrated because some non-adoptees won't even try to understand, and hypervigilant.  (I always feel as if something terrible is about to happpen and the good things in my life will be taken away from me.)  I think it's also had a lot to do with my decision to never have kids of my own.  

My standard disclaimer:  None of this has anything to do with the fact that I love my a'family and I'm glad I ended up in it.

Answer 5

According to some theories, the separation of child from it's mother is registered on the unconscious  mind.  There would be no conscious memory of either the loss or of the birth mother.  

Much can happen to a child before the age of two or three that the child will have no memory of, but can have a profound and lasting effect.  

For example, reactive attachment disorder occurs in the first 26 months of life.  RAD is the result of "early experiences of neglect, abuse, abrupt separation from caregivers after about age 6 months but before about age 3 years, frequent change of caregivers, or lack of caregiver responsiveness to child communicative efforts."



"The trauma of newborn separation is registered largely on the physical level, leaving the nervous system predisposed to getting stuck in survival mode: fight or flight, or freeze.

One of the most powerful healing forces is available to every parent, free of charge: empathy. Empathy allows a person, even a tiny baby, to feel her feelings, rather than repress them, so they can be released.

Babies who have lost their original mothers, permanently or even temporarily...and babies who have suffered other painful or traumatic experiences...need to express their feelings of grief and loss."

see the following article on this topic

http://www.quantumparenting.com/docs/wsg...

Yes, babies can form a close, loving bond with their adoptive parents.  That doesn't mean the child experiences no sense of loss by being separated from birth mom.

Answer 6

They are not able to bond, they do not benefit from her colostrum and breastmilk. However, if the child is adopted by a family that loves, wants and can care for him, versus staying with a mom that is unable to care or him/her or does not want to raise the child, hten the child reaps the benefits of that and and can bond with his adopted mom and family.

Answer 7

they are not strangers after 2 minutes they are mom and dad, the affect a lifetime of love

Answer 8

Your not going to believe this but a true story. My son had been fighting to get his son back for 16 months before he 1st got to see him (the adoption agency and the couple hid where he was even in court)

The 1st time he saw the little boy the child came right up to him like he had known him all his life even through they had never met(weired huh)

The 1st time his sister saw him he was 18 months old and she was 3 1/2 and he ran to hug her (they look alot alike)

so you tell me?

Even though this child lives with another couple (waiting on appeals) The father gets to see his son once a month for a weekend and they  have bonded. So I beleive that these children do know there natural familys from birth.

Answer 9

"What the child has missed is the security and serenity of oneness with the person who gave birth to him, a continuum of bonding from prenatal to postnatal life.  This is a profound connection for which the adoptee forever yearns.  It is this yearning which leaves him often feeling hopeless, helpless, empty, and alone.  In working with adoptees, it is apparent that no matter what happens a month, a year, or several years in the future, that period immediately after birth, when the infant has made the transition from the warm, fluid, dark security of the womb to the cold, bright, alien world of postnatal life, is a crucial period.  It is a time when a baby needs to be in proximity to his mother in order to find the world safe and welcoming instead of confusing, uncaring, and hostile.  At that time the mother is the whole world for the baby, and his connection to her is essential to his sense of well-being and wholeness."

Answer 10

We got our 4 month old daughter 2 days after birth.  She is totally bonded with us and acts as any baby would with their parents if they are loved and well cared for. She has had contact with her birth mother on several occasions and there was no evidence of a bond whatsoever.  Just a couple of days ago while her birth mother was holding her she kept her eyes on me the whole time and cried for me, something she does with every stranger that holds her.

Her birth mother never wanted a bond, she knew from the beginning of her pregnancy that she would never keep the baby. A bond was never formed so I believe at this time there is little if no sense of loss.

Answer 11

Our son was fussier than he had been when he was with his mother in the hospital.  He was constantly looking and listening for something familiar. He startled frequently, and did not sleep well for the first few days, unless she was visiting.  

He continued over the course of the next few months to recognize her voice, even over the phone. He would readily go to her, though not to other strangers, when he was between three and seven months old, even though he had not seen her in months.

He missed her.  He rapidly learned to trust us, and to look to us for his needs, but he MISSED her.  He needed time and space to adjust.  So did we, and so did she.

Answer 12

You can be biologically related to someone and they can still be a stranger.

Answer 13

While our situation was different, and NOT ALL adoptions are like this, in our case the effect of our son being separated from his bio parents was that his life was saved.  Because of his life-threatening medical disorder and situations in the home, he was "removed" from his birth parents upon his birth.  This ultimately saved his life.  

Again, I know that this is not true for ALL adoptions, but I did want to share another "effect" from a different perspective.

Answer 14

It would depend if the newborn had an immediate caregiver or was left in hospital or something.  If they had an immediate caregiver they would still be able to form attatchments and bond with people, especially if they were adopted by their new mother.  It would be hard at first, but infants form bonds with the person who is meeting their needs.  I saw this with my cousin, her baby had to go into foster care from birth because my cousin suffered terribly from eclampsia, and was very sick, and he stayed with his foster mother for nearly 4 months, and when my cousin got him back he didn't attach well to her at first, he used to scream for his foster mom, but after a few weeks he settled down ok.