What are the best Billy Connelly jokes ?

Question

What are the best Billy Connelly jokes ?

Answer 1

the big slipper  lol and the one where the parrot got lose outta the cage ...and yeah..how is copper wire invented??? 2 scotch men fighting over a penny

Answer 2

my boyf loves the spider man one (drunk walking)

i love the one about the animals it goes soemthing like ' whispering to each other -betty, do you not see that lion over there' etc

Answer 3

there are several of his jokes I like, mainly the wee old men party goers who turned up at houses, with a carry out and got drunk and sang 'barra sheescarrabboo' type songs and everyone joined in...parties of olden days

and wondering what  he would get if he ordered 'potatoes of the night', seen on the Irish restaurant menu when he thought it was some exotic rock group or a delicacy he didnt realise it meant... chips, mash ,boiled or baked...

Answer 4

did not know he had any good jokes

Answer 5

Did you hear about the lobster who went to a discotheque?

He pulled a mussel

Answer 6

Prescription windscreen for the car, he's a genius.  

Answer 7

The vaseline sales man.

Answer 8

The bum bicycle stand joke on Parky and the Crucifixion sketch on the same show

Answer 9

How do you drown Billy Connelly?

Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Why did Billy Connelly climb over the glass wall?

To see what was on the other side.