What are the chances of me and my husband working out after i cheated?

Question

and left him foe 3 years but he says he wants to get back together he never stopped calling me the whole 3 years will he be able to get bast this after 8 years together 4 married and 3 apart

Answer 1

in my mind you only live once , iether way you need to make this choice cause at the end of the day you will have to deal with what happens , however first be able to forgive him and then forgive yourself , take it from there , life is to short and you only live once , acceptance and communication - good luck

  

Answer 2

once a cheater always a cheater.

so how many more guys will you cheat with before you make ten years

Answer 3

To even have a hope in h**l of working this mess out, you two will need serious counseling.

Answer 4

You separated for three years? Wow - I'm amazed one of you didn't file.

The chances are as good as you want them to be. He seems like he can put this behind him if he's contacted you and says he wants you back. Looks like the ball is in your court.

Answer 5

Depends on him and what situation you guys are in. both my husband and i cheated on each other, I knew when he started and thats why I cheated plus he was never home, never called and never there for me when i needed him, when he found out I was cheating he went crazy and soure up and down he had never cheated not knowing i had known all along. We have a daughter and that's what kept us together during that time, it was ukward and weired for the first month or so but we loved each other and we made it work it took allot of work but here we are teo years later. Good Luck.

Answer 6

nice

Answer 7

Dont listen to people who put you down. People cheat for all sorts of reasons usually because they feel frustrated and trapped. Often women who cheat do so because they are actually too nice. They know the value of staying with a partner (married or not) because this is secure. However they also seek excitement.

You need to understand why you did what you did and put that in the museum of your past.

I actually think it is really commendable of him to still believe in you and want things to work. This is ok, really its a good thing.

It actually shows how strong he is. Running away from a problem or person is a sign of weakness so you are right to consider him again.

So firstly, if you do truly, honestly, want to make it work with him, this is entirely, 100% possible. But, you need to understand that things are not going to be exactly the same as before. It will take him ages to trust you, but he will eventually, as long as you are open and completely honest, caring, loving etc.

You need to keep communication open, tell him why you did it, what was lacking with you two - this will create more intimacy between you because you are showing him your floors and your failings and thats good. He will see the brokeness in you and hopefully he can understand it.

It will take time, much more than perhaps you are hoping, but it is so worth it. All the very best, I hope you make it x*x

Answer 8

waayyy to much drama!

Answer 9

My point of view.   Once the trust has been broken, it can't be fixed.  It may work out, but the trust will never be 100% again.  To me, I would much rather move on with my life and look somewhere else.  Too many girls out there for me not to have someone that I can trust 100%.   Sorry.

Answer 10

It all depends if you love him and want to get back together.

A relationship is a two-part thing, and you both need to put work into it.

Answer 11

Why did you leave him? I mean I would think its the other way around. He sounds like he loves you very much after everything that is happened. If you don't want to work it out with him, let him go so he can move on. I'm not trying to be mean, just it seems that if you wanted to work things out you wouldn't have left.

I cheated on my husband and he left for a night and came back and thought about it. That was the worst time of my life. Not knowing if he was gonig to give me another chance or leave. I had to come clean to him, had to give him the chance to leave if he choose to. 5 years later we are stronger than ever. Yes some of you may believe that once a cheater always one. Well thats not the case for me, I've got the best husband in the world and I was stupid and I still regret to this day what I did. Even though we are happy as can be I still feel like c**p probably always will.

Kinda got off track, but I didn't leave my husband because I cheated on him. I love him and wanted to work it out. Things did. You've got to decided if thats what you want.  

Answer 12

why would you cheat on your hubby? i couldn't imagine. i really don't think he should take you back after what you did to him. =(

Answer 13

That's really between the two of you, but I think you have to ask yourself, if you left him and cheated on him, do YOU really want to get back with him? I mean, there were probably reasons you left.

Also, his persistence could either be interpreted as love or as stalking. Which is it? Was he really being realistic in his expectations of you? Is he needy and clingy? How did you feel when you got his calls?

I'm not saying don't try it, but for both of your sakes, I hope you go in for some couples counseling before making another commitment one or both of you will regret.

Good luck.

Answer 14

Some people grow up and are able to let the past be the past.  You have to remember that he may bring this up again when you argue.  If you really want to step back, do two things first.  Remember why you left in the first place, and make sure that problem has been resolved.  Then get some marriage counseling BEFORE resuming the marriage.

Answer 15

Statistically, better than it working out with the next guy.

If he can forgive you, wow what a guy - sounds like a keeper.  You loved him once.  Work on loving him again.  You do realise that all marriages go through tough times.  Ok, so you cheated on him.  It's not unforgivable - but only if you are prepared to do the work to build up his trust.  Plus, if there are kids involved I don't believe you have a choice.  Get counselling if you can't work it through on your own.  Just know it is possible to get over this.

Answer 16

If he has any testicles and a sense of self respect there would be no chance of anything working out. He needs to dump your *** and move on.

Answer 17

Your husband is stupid for still wanting you. YOU obviously dont want HIM and shouldn't put him through the torture anymore than you have. He had his chance to stop you WITHIN those 3 years...he does not want you back as much as he lets you think. Tell him to move on and you don't want to hurt him anymore, the world is full of more than HALF the population of females..........

Answer 18

So many haters on yahoo!  It amazes me how fast people are to ridicule someone without knowing all of the details.

Trust is a very hard thing to get back.  Both of you will have to work equally toward rebuilding that trust.  Even after three years, you are going to have to show him that it will never happen again.  His being able to get past it is not an issue.  The issue is:  You have to prove that he has a reason to get past it.  In return, he has to be willing to show you that the efforts you are making to regain his trust are working.  He has to be willing to avoid throwing the past in your face should the two of you argue.  When it comes to infidelity in a marriage, both people involved walk on very thin ice trying to overcome it.  Three years is a long time.  Both of you have, undoubtedly, changed in this time.  For your sakes, I hope it's for the better.

Answer 19

The first part, I was going to say yes give it a try but then I read your details you added and my gut dropped.  He's "dating" 3 girls in which one is married?  Doesn't seem to me he's changed cuz that is just plain wrong!  It's been 3 years, I would seperate myself from him and save yourself the heartache.  If he truly wanted to have a steady relationship he wouldn't be s******g 3 women.