What are the chances she will stay with us?

Question

I'm 25, my husband is 27. Ever since we got married we've been trying to adopt. We've been married for 3 years. Well 11 months ago, our wish came true. We were able to adopt, Isabelle, a cute bundle of joy from New York(We live in Maine). We took her home 2 wks. after her birth and have been so happy with her.

Of course the bio-mom(drug addict)and bio-dad(alcholic)tried to get family members to adopt her, but no one stepped forward.

Me and my husband are just MONTHS away from the adoption process being final.

Well no the bio-mom's sister steps forward and says SHE'D like to adopt Isabelle! She is only a year older than my husband and is not married and doesn't even have a stable job(me and my husband are wedding planners).

We love Isabelle so much and we can't seem to think we could lose her. Her "aunt" is trying to adopt her. What are the chances that Isabelle can stay with us? We have been through so much with her and don't want her to leave. She calls me MaMa(c)

Answer 1

Is she placed by the Foster Care system or is this a private adoption arrangement?

If she has been placed by the Foster Care (DHS, CPS) and they are getting ready for an adoption then they also need to confirm that there are no biological family members able or willing to adopt her....

If this is a private placement then I would talk to the Lawyer right away and find out what is going on....

Answer 2

I would speak directly with your case worker / manager.  Is the child Native American....???  If so, you are in the same boat that we (my hubby and I) are in.  The Aunt can come forward since there is an order changing the childs life from foster care to permanancy of adoption.  Stay strong, if she can't pass the background / homestudy doesn't have a stable job...then more than likely she will not be acceptable to the state.  If she is Native American - you are in for the ride of your life!

Answer 3

What does the fact that you're a wedding planner have to do with any of this?

And why did you put aunt in quotes? She is her niece's aunt after all.

Answer 4

From my understanding, if the parents stay firm on their choice, the aunt has no power in this unless she can prove that they were mentally unstable when they signed away their rights, but since the adoption isn't final, if they find a way to revoke that, even by claiming they were under the influence when signing, they could possibility have the child removed from you and given to the aunt.

Then again I'm no lawyer, this is just what I know of birth parent rights having gone through the adoption process before. Until that adoption is finalized, they could get her back by claiming they were mentally unstable when signing the papers or by claiming they were forced, and it would then be your word against their's.

Answer 5

speak with the agency -- they have experience with this.  Also, contact an attorney right away.

Has the termination of parental rights already been signed by both parents?

Answer 6

god forbid the child is raised by her family!!!

yes, they do have rights to the child.  before the adoption is finalized, the court will ask if any family members want her.

how about thinking of isabelle's RIGHTS, since she has no say in this??

Answer 7

The Aunt would have to pass a home study and background check.  If the parents signed over rights there usually is a time limit that they can change their mind, if that time is pasted I really do not think you have to worry.  And truth, the judge will have to see that it is in the best interest of the child and if you can show that the Aunt is not stable (which would be up to your lawyer) then she would have no claim.

My son's fraternal grandmother tried to step forward after a year, but as soon as they told her she would have to pass a background check she backed away.  Too much shadey stuff in her past.

Answer 8

get legal help we could only say what we went through and most did have to go through courts over it.

Answer 9

I would get some legal advice. The mother could said something to her sister to adopt so the mother can see the child or something. I would see if if legal for single parent to adopt a child. The judge would look at both side has well to see where the child would be best yet. I would get a lawyer now and get going. You have the right to fight it has well. I wish you luck on everything

Answer 10

Depending on the laws where the paperwork is filed, will depend on how heavy the court weighs on their "all-of-a-sudden" attempt to be parents again.  It is not very likely that custody will be taken from a happy healthy loving home and given to someone that doesnt have a good economic standing OR personal morals it sounds like.

I believe you will be fine.

Good luck

Answer 11

Do you think its appropriate to slander her natural parents in this thread. I mean did you have to diss them in order to explain your situation?!?! That is so rude. You wouldn't have a child in your care if it wasn't for the "drug addict" and the "alcoholic" you seem to not care much about.

I ask you to put the childs needs first. Not yours, not your husbands, not the aunts or anyone else. This is about the CHILD.

I have no idea whats going to happen i'm not a child broker or someone who has been through the adoption process on that side of the net.

Well at least maine has open records.

Answer 12

well  I would think if hse signed away her rights it not smoething you can take back i know somestates say you have three months but it sound like youve past that

I would talk to the aggency or an atroney just to know youre rights

Answer 13

I know you have bonded with her,but nowadays the focus is on keeping families together.even thought the aunt may not have a stable job,she can claim benefits as a single parent,and single people can adopt these days.i guess what ia m trying to say is that although it is really hurtful for you,it may be considered in Isabelles best interests to go to her aunt,as this will keep her in her family,and this would be for her needs,it is not really about your feelings,sorry x

Answer 14

I don't know the answer to your question - I guess contact a lawyer like others suggest and it sounds good that it is an open, private adoption -  but I just wanted to wish you well during this incredibly stressful time.  I think some people on here are being a little hard on you.  As the mother of an adopted child, I know it would be so traumatic, for you and your daughter, for her placement to be disrupted.  I know it would have been horribly traumatic for my daughter (who has been with us for 18 months) to loose us after 11 months - just when trust and attachment is really setting in.  As you say, you are mama and dada to her, and It sounds like you are in communication with her biological family, which is awesome and good for her.  Whatever happens, I hope she gets to stay in contact with ALL her family.

Answer 15

Yet another lay-a-way child.....let's put her on hold do we decide what to do....this family should think about the child's needs. She has already bonded with you and your hubby.

The only parents she has ever known.

Answer 16

She's not your baby until the adoption is final.  Sorry, this must be really hard