What are the laws on moving out of state with a divorced parent?

Question

My father lives in Illinois and my Mother lives in Conneticut. I currently live with my father and he has main custody of me. My mom has visitation (every-other weekend). I would really like to move in with her, but my father wont let me visit her, let alone move in with her. What should I do? Im 16 and wanted to know if I can just up and move out with her, or have to legally do something?

Answer 1

Is there a reason you are not with your mother like her drug use or other problems that prevent her from providing you with a stable home? The fact that she may be less strict than your dad is not a good enough reason.

I also do not understand why your dad will not let you visit her unless there is a valid reason you are not telling us. I think every other weekend is an impractical visitation schedule given the distance involved and you should be allowed to spend an extended summer visitation plus winter holiday or semester break or spring break in Connecticut as well.

So: if ALL the following apply --

1. You really want to live with your mom because you think it would be better for you to be with her and in Connecticut;

2. Your dad is unreasonably denying visitation with her and it is not because of a valid reason like she uses drugs or has mental issues she is not dealing with or an abusive boyfriend or something;

3. Your mom WANTS you to live with her and you KNOW that for sure;

Here is my suggestion.

1. Between you and your mom you get a bus or plane ticket to Connecticut sometime between now and when school starts out there but allow for at least a week or two of visitation out there before school starts. If it is round trip make sure the last part is refundable.

2. Have your mom write a letter to your dad saying she wants -- in fact insists -- on having visitation with you and wants to take it in a lump amount from August 1 until school starts.

3. Toward the end of that visitation simply call your father and tell him you want to stay in Connecticut for the school year and that you are registering for school in Connecticut.

What your parents should do at your age is have something in their custody agreement that says you can change your residence between them without further action of the court -- though you should not move back and forth during the school year and in face if you are going into 11th you should stay at one place and graduate from the school you will be in this school year.

That is it. That is what I would do. You are old enough to decide. Your father cannot go after your mother for interference with custody because you decided. It should be a simple matter for your mother to have residential custody of you and be able to get your school records etc.

Best of luck and congrats on reuniting with your mom!!!!

Answer 2

Legally you may be allowed to petition the Court to have your primary custody changed.    But ONLY with permission of the non custodial parent.  You just cannot move in with her.   It is a court process, you or your mother would have to pay costs.  You may want to talk to your mom and see if she has things in her life that will conflict with your moving in.   .