What are the normal bathroom rules for a pre-kindergarten class?

Question

My 5 year old son recently started a pre-kindergarten summer school and today he came home crying and saying that his teacher wouldnt allow him to go to the restroom to p**p. He and another class member said that the teacher said no bathroom until the work is done. Consequently, my son had an accident in his underwear-twice. My son says someone-not his teacher-cleaned him up and changed his clothes. Am I wrong to assume that young children should be allowed to go p**p whenever the urge hits them? I realize this may not sound like such a big problem to some, but this is my child and it upsets me that he was humiliated in this way. Please give me some feedback on this subject.

Answer 1

I'm really shocked at what you are saying.  Not only children, but adults too, when they have to go they have to go.

You must have a word with this teacher and report this incident to the person in charge.  Tell the person that you will consider placing your child in another place if this happens again.

Answer 2

Oh absolutely not.  Report the teacher or change schools.

My son is in a pre-kindergarten summer program, and they would NEVER make them wait until their work is done to use the restroom.  I don't think that's even borderline legal.

I don't know if it's the same in pre-k (if it's not, it ought to be) but in a home situation, using potty training or anything involved in it as a method of manipulation or discipline constitutes child abuse in at least a few states.  I don't see anything different in that and what this teacher was doing.

Trust me, it does "sound like such a big problem" to me.  I'd be pissed off beyond belief to find out a teacher did that at the school I send my kids to.  Please don't send your child to this teacher again, and for the sake of the other kids in the class whose parents may not know what is going on, please report the teacher -- IMMEDIATELY.

Wrong.  Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

The teacher's detatched explanation that he didn't "effectively communicate" to her that he believed it was an emergency shows she neither actually cares about the kids in her class, but also that she has no real understanding of what four- and five-year-olds are like.  

By asking your son "Is it an emergency", I'm guessing her tone was clearly telling your son "Back off".  Plus, four- and five-year-olds don't have a really clear understanding of what is and what is not "an emergency", they can have less control over their bowels and bladders than a fully-functioning adult, and they can be easily manipulated into giving what they think is the "right answer".  This woman seems to be thinking that pre-k students should be treated like junior high students.  Her uncaring answer when you called her out on it makes that pointedly clear.

Please do not keep your son home to "work on his bathroom hygeine," as though ANY of this were his fault.  He had to go to the bathroom.  He told his teacher.  That is all he should be required to do.  Keep him home, by all means, but not to work with him on what he did wrong.  He did nothing wrong here.

Answer 3

1.) take a pass

2.) come right back

3.) flush the toilet

4.) wash your hands

5.) dont forget the pass, bring it right back to class.

Answer 4

The rules state that there should be at least one coed bathroom, one child at a time, with or without the help of the teacher, in which children, when they need, can go to the bathroom.  You should probably complain to the school about this awful teacher; kids at that age havn't nescessarily learned control, and therefore, the teacher should allow them to go.  This is horrible; don't let this continue, for your sake and for your child's sake.

I'm happy that you spoke with the teacher, but I'm worried that the teacher still hasn't come to an understanding about this situation.  For the pre-kindergarten level, there are various summer programs and classes which offer fun and educational activities as well as make your child feel at home.  I'm sure that you will be able to find a great place for your child this summer, and I hope that this horrible teacher doesn't get in the way of your child's childhood experiences.  One's childhood is supposed to be full of fun, and I don't want this to get in the way of that.  

Best wishes, and I hope this helped out!

Answer 5

I have been a preschool teacher for 14 year and my advise is get your child out of that class . That is abuse.

Answer 6

You have every right to be upset. You should speak to his teacher. If the issue can't be resolved that way, you should file a complaint with the principal. It's one thing if your son was abusing the privilege and getting up to go to the bathroom every few minutes, and it's another if a teacher causes your son to defecate on himself.

Answer 7

I think they should be allowed to I mean they are 4 and5  they do not know how to hold it in I mean come on. I think they should!

Answer 8

No, you are not wrong to think young children should be allowed to go to the bathroom when needed. Try talking to your son's teacher to fix the problem. Your son should be allowed to go to the bathroom when he needs to (as long as he does not abuse this right and goes to the bathroom to miss class.)

At the school I attend, we have a few bathroom rules: 1. Only go to the bathroom if you need to. 2. Do not run or play in the bathroom. And there are some more, too.

Answer 9

Take a pass and don't make a mess. That is very unreasonable that he/she did that to your son and the other child.

Answer 10

good heavens! is this kindergarten run by the Gestapo?! just what kind of person denies a child use of the bathroom? she's (I assume) probably trying to get them not to use the bathroom so much, multiply your kid by 18, 19, or 20, but the outcome should tell her it's not working. Is there a school nurse to talk to? or school social worker? i think the teacher's expectations are too high, maybe she needs older students.

Answer 11

Preschool children should be allowed to use the bathroom any time they need to. Take your child out of the program, today! Speak to the principal and be absolutely clear about how unhappy you are. Go to a school board member. In other words, cause lots of trouble , The teacher should not be working with young children, Actually, the teacher should not be working with kids at all! A good pre-k shouldn't be about "work" that has to be finished. Reassure your child that what happened was not his fault. While you are at it find out what the policy will be in his kindergarten classroom.

Answer 12

Most early childhood programs are required to have bathrooms available either in the room or have staff that can take a child to the bathroom when they need/want to go.  Your child nor any other should not be subjected to this kind of humiliation.  They are forming their first experiences with "school" and each child should be afforded a positive, child-oriented experience.  I would talk to whomever is in charge of the program to voice my displeasure and concern for the children's first experiences with "school" as a negative one.  Don't make a big deal of it with your son, but let him know he should bug that teacher, who in my opinion has no business working with young children, when he has to go to the bathroom.  Is there only one teacher in the room?  If there are two, if one doesn't respond, tell him to go to the other teacher.  I have a Master's in Early Childhood Special Education and have been a teacher, director and consultant with Early Childhood Education programs for 35+ years.  I'm appalled that a "teacher" would do this to a child and then respond the way she did with you.  Go with you "gut" feeling and protect your child!  Good luck and I hope this helped a little.