What are the possible reasons for an 8-9 year girl for the following?

Question

Becoming withdrawn at school.

wetting the bed

developing a stammer

Any Ideas on what could be happening to her? she has only been like this recently?

There have been no big changes to her life and she is not being bullied, she attends a very small private school and teachers / staff members have been keeping a very close eye on her, and she seems keen to go to school, so that cannot be the problem.

Answer 1

Is there anyone you know around her age who could be a special friend?  Then you could invite them both over for tea and a sleepover as a special treat for her mother, who can then go out and enjoy herself, leaving her boy with his father.

Then you can observe the two girls together, and see how your cousin reacts with someone who is not a threat, not going to tell to grown-ups, and who she can relax with.  Hopefully releasing a secret or a serious problem at home with a friend will relax her, and enable her to open up more, possibly to you, enough to decide whether to involve a professional.

The problem seems to be at home.  It may be abuse from the mother or step-brother.  Quite possible there is a poisoned atmosphere between the mother and the separated father that the girl is picking up.  I know that from experience, since during contact proceedings in court where I was denied contact with my daughter for 6 months while the wheels of justice were grinding, my daughter had to be referred to an educational psychologist with similar symptoms.  Since I had not seen her at all for months, I called Social Services but they were not interested. She went through a gender crisis, wanting to be a boy, and also developed a fear of spiders.  I suggested that it was a lack of a close adult male (her father and her paternal grandfather through the denial of contact, and her maternal grandfather was long divorced and out of the picture).  Sure enough the symptoms cleared up as soon as contact with me and my parents was restored, although our relationship never recovered.

Sexual exploration between siblings out of curiosity should not give that sort of reaction or anxiety if the girl is a willing participant. So given her signs of distress, if the cause is sexual, she is having it pushed on her, which is terrible and needs to be stopped asap.

Answer 2

there seems to be evidence of some sort of abuse going on whether it be pysical, sexual  or emotional!  

A professional needs to get involved asap!!  poor girl!!!

:0(

Answer 3

As a victim of and having two sisters who were also, sounds like sexual abuse. But it could also be a teacher or sitter, or even an uncle or friend of the family's that is always around, I would definitely make her go to a counselor and if she doesn't then call social services so they can get her to talk about it.

Answer 4

These are signs of sexual abuse, but that is just what i've read. She needs to see a counselor.

Answer 5

Please go point the finger. . you need to draw attention to it. Even if u r worng and it not him it could be someone and if there is then they wil be scared off.  Its not easy for a child of that age to go through sumin like tha and it scars u for life. This child isnt goin to tell anyone. . .not a counseller and especially not family . . . if it is a member of her family doin something like this then she already will have no trust in them so its likely she wnt trust anyone ans keps herself withdrawn. . .she must be very confused. Please do something, Please

Answer 6

when i was 7 i did this too..

i was being sexually abused.

and i didnt tell anyone because i was scared



even when everyone found out the truth  i still lied and said it wasnt true because i was afraid it was something i did

Answer 7

****. This is a hard one. Please excuse the French there.

Naturally the first assumption is to assume there is a Paedo Monster nearby, but the answer could be closer to Home.

I'm assuming the Mother is a wondrous creature, but. . . what if, there is a nasty, albeit controlling and unsettling manner of child rearing going on here?

I feel like I have said too much already, but Abuse can manifest itself in many different forms. And the Physchological hits the deepest.

This is bad. And I don't like it.

Answer 8

Sounds like she needs to go to a doctor-could be depression, or that she was sexually abused or something else. Hope I am wrong but I would have her checked out.  

Answer 9

these are sings of molestation, talk to her mother, and have her watch her, poor girl. good luck

Answer 10

My first thought was bullying, but you discounted that, that points to me to depression. You might want to take her to a play psychologist. They do therapy through interacting with children through toys, the kids don't have a miserable time and it really helps. But yeah, I'd say take her to a doctor.

Answer 11

I am a teacher and I have seen this before.  This is usually a sign of sexual abuse.  If she doesn't open up to you I would suggest taking her to a counselor.  I wish her the best.

Answer 12

YES! please have her talk to someone! sounds like shes being sexually abused, i know that's every parents worst nightmare...please get her looked at!!!!!

i hope we all here are wrong!!!!

is there anyone in your life that is questionable, and has access to her? i know you wouldn't her in harms way on purpose just want you to ask yourself...

Answer 13

She sounds depressed. maybe you should seek professional help.

she could be worried or anxious about something and its getting her down. the problem doesnt have to be at home or school it could be something completely different.

best advice would be to seek professional help and fast.

depression can mess you up big timeee!

Good Luck! (:  

Answer 14

Sexual abuse, anxiety problems... It could be quite a few things. Have you taken her to a doctor or therapist?

Answer 15

they could be signs of sexual abuse or violence in the home.

as a child i had the same problems and mine were due to serious arguments and violence in the home, i was so nervous most of the time and found it hard to trust anyone.

If her mother doesnt investigate the situation, then take over, if something is happening to her then you will regret not getting involved.

i hope you or someone else gets to the root of her problems, please try and protect her. good luck

Answer 16

Sounds like bullying!

Answer 17

make sure someone isn't taking advantage of her, a friend, family, teacher, you could be surprised, talk to her, tell her it's ok nothing bad will happen to her

Answer 18

As a counselor, I have experience in working on these kind of issues.  She is scared of somebody in her home environment.  It does sound like sexual abuse.  Because she wants to go to school, it does not appear to be at school.  So it is more than likely someone at home, in the family, or someone who frequents the home a lot.  It may be a male or female.  If she is comfortable talking with you, hint to her that you suspect someone is doing something bad to her and ask her to talk to you about it.  Keep encouraging her to talk to her child psych or GP as well.  Also, consider making an anonymous report to the authorities if you are concerned about someone finding out you have reported this.

Answer 19

I dont really wanna say it, But it sounds like all the signs of sexual abuse, I really hope it isnt though. She needs to be taken to the GP, Try to convince her mum to take her, and if she doesnt try and talk to her yourself, Tell her she can tell you anything and you wont be mad and nothing will happen to her. Most abusers scare the children into not telling anyone, mainly by telling the child that their family will be ashamed, or threatening the family. Another one is, buying the child presesnts, taking them out etc, This confuses the child. One side of the man is amazing, buying them everything they want but the other side is hurting them. Children cant seem to understand that.

Anyway, Just look out for those signs from any male (even female) people in the childs life, but dont jump to conclusions. Try and talk to the little girl on your own, reassuring her that nothing will happen, and convince her mum to take her to the doctors.

Good luck, and i really hope something awful isnt happening to that child, I hope it is just a silly stage she is going through or something.