What are the pros & cons comparing private domestic adoption vs. going with state foster care to adopt?

Question

I was adopted from Korea. Now that I'm grown and married, my husband and I think we'd like to one day adopt even if we can have biological children. We haven't "tried" yet! :) Adoption is obviously something close to my heart. My brother & SIL adopted about 2 years ago - private, domestic. The adoption cost them around $13,000 upfront. My husband & I aren't looking to adopt right now but hearing that cost is alarming! While we'd love to adopt at some point, it's hard to think we'd ever be able to afford that price! Is it "cheaper" to adopt through the state foster agencies instead of doing an expensive private adoption agency? I know that sounds horrible but I'm just thinking about options. Are there many kids 2 and under in public foster agencies though? From what I hear, many kids in those agencies have disabilities or are born with addictions. Is that just a stereotype?! It sounds like one!

Answer 1

I have two adopted children.  One from the state, one from an agency.  There are pros and cons of both.  I'm not sure what state you are in, and every state has its own rules/regulations.  Do a good job researching your agency if you go that route.  Take as much care as you would picking a pediatrician or OB/GYN for a delivery.  Our agency was great, gave us a discounted price ($14K), and even gave us monthly payments at no interest.  

Our second adoption through the state cost us $0.  Remember there is an adoption tax credit of around $10K per kid.  Which means you get a $10K tax credit over 5 years for adopting a child.  If you adopt from the state, unless you are in a large metropolitan area, it is difficult to get a newborn.  Many of these children are victims of abuse and neglect.  Some may have learning problems and alcohol/drug exposure when their mother was pregnant.  However, our state adoption gave us a "normal" child who was almost 3.

Answer 2

Both private and state have kids with the same conditions, whether it be medical , physical, or mental.  Really the only diff. is with private it goes faster but will cost you more.  With state it takes longer but the cost is less and even lesser if you do foster into adoption.  However, you must realize that there aren't a whole lot of newborns and toddlers out there they get placed very fast.  Most children open for adoption are 5 and up or are part of a sibling group.  And cost is a big part of why so many children are still open for adoption I feel you there.  When we first started looking into adoption the price tag was astounding.  I mean we aren't poor but live a comfortable life and could provide for a child's needs.  It made us feel like we were trying to be the highest bidder instead of trying to becomes parents.

Answer 3

Your first concern when adopting should be your potential child and his natural mother. Unless your willing to spend an exorbitant amount of money, your child's natural mother will not get the care and love she deserves in a private adoption.  

If you're really doing this for a selfless reason, you need to go through the foster care system. Your second option would be to go through an ethical agency that takes excellent care of natural mothers, and doesn't coerce them into adoption.

Answer 4

Private

Pro:

   Can adopt infants easier

   Can be faster

   Can choose the natural parents (no drugs, racial, etc)

Con:

   Expensive

   Some private agencies are somewhat unscrupulous

Foster

Pro:

   Inexpensive

   Social responsibility (helping kids in need)

Con:

   Some kids come from neglect or abuse (and so have developmental delays or behavioral problems)

   Dealing with the state can get annoying

We went through the Foster system, personally, I believe it is the better option.