What are the pros & cons of having a second child?

Question

Our daughter is 3.5, about to enter preschool, and we're thinking about having another child.

Is having two kids much harder than having one? I kind of like just having one. I wasn't really too fond of the baby stage, and the early toddler stage wigged me out mainly because my daughter is a daredevil and so I was constantly worried she was going to hurt herself. It was stressful.

But everyone says the second one is easier because you know what to expect and you know what you're doing.

And I think it would be so good for her to have a sibling. I don't know what it would be like growing up as an only child.

So yea, why did you decide to have (or not have) a second child?

Answer 1

Pros:

1. Your love will expand exponentially with every child.

2. As you said, it's good for kids to have siblings.  If they bond well, they will be there for each other throughout their entire lives, even after you're gone.

3. They are each unique and different, and you will get more ways to experience the pleasures of parenting.

4. Potentially, you will have twice as many chances to enjoy their achievements and rites of passage such as sports events, concerts, proms, graduations, etc.

5. You get to prolong the childrearing years and put off the empty nest longer.

Cons:

1. Your worries and fears will expand exponentially with every child. Twice as much skateboarding, tree climbing, car driving, and so on.

2. Two will cost more than one, especially when it's time for college. Twice as much shopping, too.

3. Two will take up more space in your house.  But you'll think it wasn't long enough, probably.

Personally, I think the pros outweigh the cons by like a million percent.

Answer 2

I grew up having a sister, and I really bonded with her. I wanted to give my son a sibling that he can play with and talk to. Every one of my friends that were the only child really wanted to have a sibling. Of course a lot of them with siblings really wanted to be an only child too.

I decided even though the first stages of having a baby are kind of scary, it would be worth it when they are in school and can help each other out.

Answer 3

My sister and I were 2.5 years apart and we have always been close.   I now have a 7 month old and am 11 weeks pregnant with number 2 (a surprise) and I am scared, but also excited.  My kids will always be clsoe in age to play together, I can teach them both things at the same time, etc...  your daughter is old enough about having a baby sister/brother, so if you feel the time is right, go for it.  

Answer 4

Honestly, you don't know what to expect (really) with the second one because they are often completely different than the first kid. They lul you into a false sense of security. They often work in teams to do things they aren't supposed to, and there are jealousy issues.

We did decide to have a second child. There is so much more love there, and our daughter has someone to play with... but she also has someone to fight with and we never know who did it when something gets broken.

This is something you will have to sit down and figure out together. There is no right answer.

Answer 5

I too thought about only having one child.  But then I thought about what life would be like with out my sister.  My sister is my best friend and I could never wish life with out her.

The person that helped me to decide to have a second child was my mom.  When I asked her why she had a second child she said it is because when she and my dad die she didn't want me to be alone.

For my second child yes things were alot easier because not only did I know what to expect I had a little helper too!  My daughter loves being a big sister and yes at times they argue and it can be challenging but they are best of friends.  I truely thought with my first that I could never love another child the same...until my 2nd was born.  It is amazing how you can love two people so much.

I would deffinately say have a second if it is right for you.  BUT if it is not then don't do it.  Good luck.