What are the signs of a stealth public farter?

Question

I was on the train this morning and some filthy animal kept farting.. i spent the best part of 15 minutes trying to find the culprit.

what are the signs of a stealth farter???

Cheesy grin?

Body strain?

Answer 1

are you looking for tips on what not to do next time you let out a deadly f**t?

Answer 2

Then again........... there is the age old "Whoever smelt it, dealt it"  - Perhaps it was you, trying to shift the blame - just like a shifty farter would!

Answer 3

A constant clear space of at least five metres around him/her at all times

Answer 4

Its probably the guy with his head buried in the newspaper.

Whenever I have to do one, I always make sure I'm standing at the back of the car, and just let it out, and keep staring above the people with a stern face. They always look for someone who's sitting down.

Answer 5

If they have light colored pants on, you can see a dark stain if they let some wet farts out.

Answer 6

it was me

Answer 7

shifty eyes

the dog with the shifty eyes did it.

Answer 8

eeeeew. and signs are....1)pretending not to do it 2)looking down or all over the place 3)looking kinda surprised/embarrassed...

Answer 9

If sitting down, they may shift left and right slightly, allowing the buttocks to open up more.

They're more likely to look down to hide their shame.

If reading, they may appear more engrossed in their book/paper than normal, but will turn the pages at a slower rate as they'll be watching other passengers out of the corner of their eyes to see if they've been caught.

Answer 10

Look for S**t stains on khaki pants.  Definitely a sign.   After meals is the worst time.  

On the other hand, once you found the stealth farter what are you going to do with them?  Report them to the EPA?

Answer 11

i dont know never looked for any signs

Answer 12

It usually not too hard to tell.

If it's a little old lady - they're pretty practiced at the cover up .... but you know from the odour that she's the culprit.

If you loudly declare "Oh my god, what's that smell in here"?  It'll either be the first to agree that little bit too loudly, or the one who doesn't say anything.  

If someone reprimands their dog before the waft hits anyone else - the dog is definitely a scape-goat.

Otherwise just look for someone who is suddenly fascinated with something unfacinating that diverts there eyes from everyone else (e.g. the window, their watch, etc)

Answer 13

What difference does it make who did it? It's done and over with. Just what would you do if you found the person?