What are the steps to find my birthmother?

Question

Im adopted and im at the point in my life where I want to meet my real mom. I dont kno her name but I do no my aunt. how can I search for her

Answer 1

Before you go about doing this, consider that she may not want to be confronted with something from her past like a kid she gave up.

I've thought about tracking my BP's down (all i have to do is ask my mom, she knows all the info), but i can't imagine how it would feel having someone that i gave up, show up at my door 25 years later.

For all i know, she's comfortable knowing she did the right thing and that my adoptive parents, who were unable to have their own kid, were able to give me a better life than she could have.

Answer 2

How about the many adoption registries spoken about on this forum? If you know your Aunt that is a great source to start with.....you have just as much right to this info as anyone else.

Look up adoption registries from the state your birth certificate was issued.

I wish you the Best of Luck!

Answer 3

I'm not sure exavtly what you can do, but I have heard of People going to court to find out who their birth mother is. If you know what hospital you were born at, you could possibly find out from them to.

Answer 4

start off by asking around for information,

like your foster home, or where ever you were

taken the time your parent gave you away, if they do not want to give you that information you might want to look different techniques up on the internet, you should also try posting different bulletins on different websites after you've found out information about your birth mother, she may read it and contact you! Also if you know your aunt's last name, it shouldn't be difficult, maybe you should talk to your aunt about it.

here are a few websites you might be able to use below

Answer 5

Think about if you are SURE you want to meet her. This may lead to MAJOR bad times =(

Answer 6

if you no her name got to usasearch.com and it'll show it but to find where she lives you have to pay i am adopted too good luck! if u don't no ur birthmothers name ask ur adopted parents and they could just check the records :D

Answer 7

Depending on where you live, you can go to different web sites that find people. If you are in Canada, you can look at LookinginOntario.com.

Answer 8

I am adopted too and had found my birth mother within a few days by just making a couple of phone calls.  First, try to find out everything you can about your mom.  Things like where she may have lived, family members, her last name, her place of work, and how old she was when you were born.

By making contact with some of her family members to try to reach her to invite her for a "reunion" or a party of some sort, other family members and relatives will be happy to tell you her phone number and address.  

In my case my mother was in a group of people who had immigrated to America from Germany and they had all pretty much settled into one spot of New Jersey.  My adoptive parents had an old receipt from the court with her surname on it and one time when I was on hold with the Judge's chambers asking about the adoption records, the secretary failed to put the phone on hold, so I could hear her talking to the judge and that way I knew that my mother's name was recorded as "Linda."  Turned out it is really Lidia.  

It does help to find out about our past, but even though I'm now going on being a senior citizen, I still am angry.  I don't care what people say these days, adoptive parents simply cannot ever provide for the emotional needs we adoptees have.  They need to understand that we deal with the trauma of rejection, the rage of not being able to physically bond with our biological parent, and to top it all off, having to feel so damned GRATEFUL to our adoptive parents for having taken us in.  

My adoptive parents were smart, loving in their way, but it is NOT the same thing.  We adoptees always feel like a fifth wheel.

Answer 9

what state are you in?

Answer 10

You should Find a tax return and find her name and trace her by every job she ever had.

Answer 11

Definately try to search for the Aunt - if you have her full name you may be able to do a people search on her - as long as you have her married name (if she is married) - otherwise it's a little hard to search with a maiden name.

These are the steps I usually advise people to start at for searching in the USA -

First - add your details to the registries here

http://www.isrr.net/

http://registry.adoption.com/

Check for information on your state records here -

http://adopteerights.net/

(click on the page marked 'Searchers' down the left hand side)

Check here for search help - and links to search angels -

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

And check here for any support - it's the best online forum for adoptees I've found -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/

All the very best with your search

Answer 12

If i'm understanding correctly you say that you do know your aunt.  That would be a great place to start.  

If you have a relationship with your aunt then simply ask her for your mother's name, address, information.

My neice came to me to help her find her biological father because her mother wasn't interested.  Aunt's can be very helpful if you ask them.

If you just know your aunt's name begin with a google search and take it from there or by using one of the links provided in the other answers here.  I do not know of a search site that accepts birth relatives.

Answer 13

i think there are people search websites. look on the yellow pages.com or something like that and type in your aunt's name. see her info and maybe call her. or talk to your adopted mom and dad because they might know something. The best of luck to you!