What are the things flight attendants say before taking off, before landing, and after landing?

Question

I'd like to know all three if possible, but if not than just what they say before landing and after landing. If anyone's actually a flight attendant, then that'll be great. Thanks in advance!

Answer 1

Before take off: "Hello, sit down and open your stupid shades."

Before landing: "Sit Down, seats up, trays up, sit down and open your stupid shades."

After landing: "Buh-Bye."

Of course, this was meant as a comedic pause in the ever so serious, never make a joke in here, we take everything seriously, we give thumbs downs to all responses that don't meet out expectations, aircraft section of yahoo answers.

Answer 2

lalalalalala!!KA BOOM

Answer 3

1. Welcome Annoucement

- Good morning. ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome aboard Korean Air flight 493 bound for Taipei .

We are sorry for the delay in our departure.

Please fasten your seat belt and refrain from smoking while the no smoking sign is on.

2. FAA/Government Regulations

-  Ladies and Gentlemen:

For your safety, all passengers are kindly requested to refrain from using portable telephones, televisions, cd players, or fm radios in the cabin.  Thank you.

3. Safety Announcement

-  A life jacket is in the pocket under your seat.  To put it on, place it over your head.  Clip on the waistband and pull it tight.  Please do not inflate it while you are still inside the aircraft.  An evacuation slide and life raft is at each door.  Your crew will direct you to your door.  Additional emergency exits are shown on the leaflet.

Answer 4

after landing: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: WE have just landed at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport and we are now taxiing to the NAIA Centennial Terminal 2. Welcome to Manila! FOR your safety, please remain seated with your seatbelts fastened until the fasten seatbelt sign has been switched off. Please do not remove your carry-on baggage until the aircraft has come to a full stop. At this time, communication is still ongoing between the flight deck and the control tower. For this, may we request our passengers to please refrain from using your cellphones until after you have disembarked. Before deplaning, however, may we remind you to check your seating area for any items you might leave onboard. ON behalf of Philippine Airlines, Captain Fed Bartolome, First Officer Larry Pine, this has been Charmie, together with Rommel, Jeremy and Christine, thanking you for flying with us. It was indeed a pleasure to have you onboard and we hope to see you again soon on one of your future flights. AND for passengers with immediate connecting flights to international and regional destinations via Philippine Airlines, please proceed to the Transfer Desk at the Arrival Area for assistance and information regarding your onward connecting flight. ONCE again, from "Asia's First, Asia's Sunniest: Philippine Airlines", thank you and we welcome you to Manila!"