What are the top 3 most important qualities for adoptive parents to posess?

Question

If you were to pick out the three most important qualities for an adoptive parent to have - or what three things are essential to a GOOD adoptive parent?

Thanks!

Answer 1

A very secure and grounded sense of self--i.e., the ability to accept, even embrace, the fact that they are not the only parents and that their children need to know who they are and where they come from.

Curiosity--An ability to take delight in watching a child grow into its own.

Flexibility--The ability to look at looming changes honestly and accept them unless there is a good reason not to.

Answer 2

I am a birthmom-still pregnant-and I am putting my son up for adoption.

I looked for a lot of qualities when choosing parents-most importantly

1. I wanted to know that the parents would make it clear that I loved my son and thats why I gave him up.  I want him to know that I did this out of love.  Adoptive parents should only say good things about birthmoms-bc we DO care.

2. I wanted to take in religion as a factor.  Honestly, I only looked at christian families bc i am a christian.  I want my son raised that way as well.

3.  HONEST.  This is a hard quality to determine.  Couples will say anything to get your baby.  You have to determine who is real.  Its like a weird chemistry.  Adoptive parents should care about the prospective baby AND mom.  This is a unique bond.

Answer 3

1. They must first love themselves.....this goes for any parent.

   If you are not happy with yourself you can not hope a child

    will make you happy.

   You will be unable to give a child

    that which you can not give yourself.

2. Be able to admit your wrong because everything in life is a learning process. And all parents make mistakes. Children need to be told that even their parents are imperfect.

3. Open-minded there is always more then one way to do something. Trial and error.

Answer 4

honesty, understanding and willingness to be approached about ANYTHING, whether it hurts your feelings or not.

Answer 5

Like Aretha says:

RESPECT.

Answer 6

This is an interesting question. It makes a point that when people are trying to adopt a child, they are put through scrutinous testing, psychological testing, testing to see if they are 'suitable' to be parents, testing to see if they have enough money.

Where are the tests for natural parents? Would the authorities consider invading the homes of all expecting parents for inspections, testing, audits and everything they do to adoptive parents...forcing an abortion on those who fail?

Hardly. We've got kids being born to crack addicts, parents who beat, parents who are mentally unstable and can't handle the job.

Hmmm....interesting...

Answer 7

normal

fun

not go to adoption websites

Answer 8

As an adoptee, I think I would say:

Unconditional Love

Patience - and a LOT of it

Inner Strength

Answer 9

R-E-S-P-E-C-T (another big Aretha fan here)

Honesty

Enough self confidence to be able parent as the second family who respects the child's biological family as the first family

Answer 10

1)  Open minded to the Unique people we love and parent and willing to accept whom ever they become.... (aka: Unconditional Love)

2)  First Teacher--the person responsible for teaching the most core lessons of life--and in such a way that the child is able to make decisions for themselves.

3) #1-Advocate and Warrior of their needs in every way outside of their home.... The One to Stand Up for them No matter what and beat down the roadblocks that stand in their way........

But.....this isn't actually how I feel as an Adoptive mom--it is just how I feel as a Mom....

Answer 11

Stability, Patience, Ability to Love and Be Loved

Answer 12

All parents should be

Flexible, open to change

Unconditionally loving

Have a sense of humor

Answer 13

1. UNSELFISHNESS

2. secured  finances

3.a see able love for their spouse

Answer 14

1) Realize the child has a history before you entered the picture. Do not change the child's name.

2) Maintain contact with the real family if at all possible.

3) If ever the real mother (or father) is able to parent, return the child to his/her real parent(s).

Answer 15

1.  Understanding of unique issues and challenges (especially from foster care)

2.  Patience and understanding on ick burearcracy

3.  Empathy for the pain and suffering of natural family, even if children were taken due to abuse and neglect.  Understanding cycle of abuse and addictions can help understand that the natural parents do indeed love their children, and are going through pain and suffering during the separation.

Having read a few answers, I think Sunny sums it up with Respect.  I disagree so very much with Elizabeth that if hte parents can parent to give them back.  First of all I really don't like the word "real" parents, because it assumes AP' are not "real" when in fact parenting is a day to day action.  I do agree that allowing them into your life if they are stable is beneficial, but once I have adopted my three children, who were taken away due to abuse and neglect, no change that four years down the line I relinquish my rights as parent.  We are trying to allow bio/natural parents not have to relinquish, but we do have to factor in and respect the adoptive familyh and the needs of the child, in that the person raising him/her is the adoptive parents.

Answer 16

off the top .. .

Compassion, stability, patience

The same as any other parent.  Oh and should I add excellent negotiating skills?  kids seem to have an innate talent when it comes to negotiating those new toys ;)

Answer 17

hmm people who are loving.. maybe have a good home... or just be nice people maybe if they have another adopted child if they seem happy then they would probably be good :D i was adopted.. and my parents love me.. altho they arent getting along with each other real well... i think they might get divorced... :( but its been 25 years...   also im only 14 so i really wouldnt know what to really look for but my parents have that and also maybe if youre a certain religion you could look for someone with that religion...?

Answer 18

I honestly think the characteristics of a good adoptive parent, would be the same as biological.

1-  stable home environment- a husband and wife the loves each other first- because you cannot love a child, if you don't love each other

2-  love the child with your whole being

3- teach the child in the way that he/she should go, and they will not depart from it.

LOVE IS THE KEY- and acknowledge what gifts/talents they may have and work toward encouraging them to go that path.

Answer 19

As you know, I have had to do this before, for me huge factors are:

Stability in the adopting parent's relationship

Would never raise a hand to the child

Would be able to provide everything the child needs and more.

There's more factors, but, to me, those three are tops.