What are the traits that you pass down to your children?

Question

Is the reason why adults think that teens can't take care babies because they are still trying to find themselves? I mean, I know it's bad to have children when you can't financially take care of them, but also is it because you'll teach them the wrong traits for life? What are the traits that parents teach their kids into growing up into a good person? Parents can answer this too. I'm just curious and no, I don't feel like asking my mom about this hah.

Answer 1

The responsibility of having a child is colossal. In the beginning it is about being able to physically take care of an infant and toddler. To watch over them constantly with the child being your 1st priority. At this stage, that means not being able to go out, if you are in school, having the money to pay a babysitter while you are there, keeping them safe and comfortable and happy is a full time job that honestly most teens are incapable of doing because as you said, they are trying to find themselves, and are still having the experiences they should be having in life to prepare them for having kids. Besides you have to do all that on very little sleep!

Next come the Toddler and preschool years. At this stage, the teen parent not only has to do everything I mentioned in stage 1, but now they also are responsible of teaching right from wrong. They will be setting the foundation of who that child will become. That is not something that someone with limited life experience should tackle.

My children are now in the grade school stage and I still find it hard being a parent. I am now trying to mold my kids so that they have high self esteem and am dealing with a lot of emotional issues, as well as keeping them safe, fed and happy.

I think I have just touch on very few of the reasons that teens should not have kids. I waited until I was 30 to start and I am so happy I did. I don't think I had enough life experiences to make the correct choices for my kids.

It doesn't matter how old you are when you have kids. There is so much involved in creating and molding another human being that it is not something to do just because you want a cute baby that will love you.

I hope this answers some of your question and good luck!

Answer 2

This may answer part of your question: I think that adults worry more that teen parents won't teach their children, period.

I believe the biggest problems facing a young mother are not the financial issues. They are 1) finding the time to properly bond with and care for the baby and 2) finding peers who can be supportive.

Unless she is in an alternative high school program, a teen parent will need at least 35-40 hours per week for school and homework.  That's a lot of hours that the baby will spend with someone else.  Could it be grandma who is bonding with the baby and caring for it instead of the mom?

And if the young mom is like most teens, she will still want to go out with their friends or participate in school activities.  Her friends will be very busy with their own social lives, and the  young mom will either be left out or take her baby along (and the entertainment value of that for her friends will be short-lived).  She will quickly realize that she has much less in common with them than she did before, and they will drift apart.  The result: little peer support.

I think a person can learn to be a good parent at any age.  Teen moms can be good at their job, and they CAN teach their children values. But the difference for parents who are in their 20's and 30's is that they can usually plan ahead to have time for an infant, and other people their age are in the same stage of life, so they have support from their friends and peers.