What are ways to be more patient?

Question

I am so impatient. I love my kids so much but some days I cant even bare to hear their voices. I feel guilty and sometimes i just want to run away. They annoy me to the point where i want to cry. DO any other mums feel like this? I feel guilt for feeling it please help

Answer 1

No honey, you are just being a regular mum....we all have times like that...you need to learn to count to 10 before you scream...then speak to them...when it gets really bad...take a time out...just go to the bathroom or your bedroom for about 5 mins.  take a deep breathe and relax....Get you a babysitter for a day or 1/2 day and go treat yourself to a pedicure or massage or just go for a walk in the park or something to change your pace for just a little while...Every mother goes through this at one time or another...if you continue to feel this way go to your doctor and ask him to help you....Don't be discouraged you're not alone...Remember count to 10 and then speak to them...You're going to be fine...but do take you some time for you when you can...it truly will help...HH

Answer 2

it is normal but you have to see a doctor.

Answer 3

if they annoy you, is it because they are being obnoxious? i.e being rude, yelling repetitive nonsense? or are they 2-4 and little children? i think its common to feel trapped by kids but i also think you might need to take them out and play so that you can have a break from interacting. Activities help children learn away from you and become independent and strong. I wish my parents gave me more out time. anyway, goodluck!!

Answer 4

hmm you remind me of my self when i've just had enough.. i just feel like smacking my daughter for stupid reasons.. I say this to my self and husband and others all the time .. Do you know why kids are called children? Its because they act childish!!!... Try turning on some music that you like and relaxes you.. also have certain toys out and an area where you dont mind your child making a mess.. also if your child is too loud and you need them to talk softly tell them to use inside voices.. this might mean you need to disapline them for screaming etc.. also if they throw things inside then disaplin them... and when they have finsihed playing "this means leaving the area where they were playing with toys" Make "THE CHILD" clean the mess... if they don't then discipline them.. then get them to clean it.. Be very persistent.. and over time they will realise... Also try getting yourself into a better routine so if your kids have a day nap you rest as well or do something that relaxes you.

& yes i feel like crying too.. last night my daughter cried for an hour... i changed her nappy.. tried feeding her.. and finally i wrapped her up tight and tapped her back and she shut up... i said to my husband man i could just place this baby in the corner of another room and let it cry... *i felt guilty i felt that way once she calmed down* But yes parenting does get frusterating.. if you feel like halming your child in any way though.. go speak to your doctor about depression.

Answer 5

i hope my mum isnt like u

Answer 6

Ofcourse you are not alone. My daughter is only 9 months old and has been teething BADLY for 2 weeks and my patience is non existent... i have also been babysitting my 4 nieces 2-3 days a weeks and working 4 days a weeks (half days granted but still working) so i am exhausted, irritable and my daughter only has to refuse her bottle or cry while i am changing her and i am close to tears or walking away from her because i am ready to blow my top. I feel guilty to but rest assure you are not alone  and the fact that you are brave enough to admit it is proof enough that you are a good mother:)

Answer 7

I am an extremely inpatient/short tempered person to the point where no-one cares about me 'snapping' at everyone else and they make jokes out of it. Anyway, this is about you not me.

It sounds to me like you need a long break. And it will work. Even just going to a day spa would help. Or just a girls night out could help. Maybe stay at your parents house for a while till you feel more relaxed. Do NOT feel guilty! I don't think there would be no mum out there that would not feel frustrated with their children! Think of something happy. Maybe happy memories you have had with your children. Stop focusing on the negative.

It may be hard at the moment, but imagine how hard it'll be when they are all grown up and you would be wishing they are still there- even to annoy you.

Answer 8

All parents lose patience with their children at some point. Parenthood is demanding and challenging. But it should also be a rewarding and pleasurable experience.

Impatience or irritability to the degree you are describing can  be an indicator  of something deeper, namely depression. Not being able to bear the voices of your children or feeling like you want to cry suggests that it is something deeper than the common impatience most parents face. You might want to examine other areas of your life. Are you happy? can you find pleasure in everyday things? is your sleep, appetite, mood okay? If not, maybe see your family dr. and describe what is going on for you.  Its obvious you love your children and are trying to find a way to be the best parent you can be to them. Being happy and healthy emotionally and physically yourself is the best thing you can do for your kids.

It is vital , regardless of the reason for your impatience, that you have time  for yourself away from the kids, also having someone to vent your frustrations helps you to release tension and stress. Take a time out for yourself if need be.

Lastly, dont be afraid to seek outside help if you think it may be warranted, there are a lot of people that would be able to assess the whole situation more fully, and determine what would be most helpful in providing you and your children with a happier and healthier way to coexist.

Dont feel guilty! By looking for a better way to parent and relate to your children, you are doing the right thing.

Answer 9

I'm pretty sure you're not alone, but I never had that with three children.  I'm wondering if maybe you've got a little something in the situation, there, that may be making life a little more challenging for you than it needs to be.

If you're getting upset to the point where you feel like crying, I wonder if you'd benefit by reading Jo Frost's book(s) or watching SuperNanny every week.

Sometimes everyone just gets a little rambunctious or even out-of-control, and then parents can escalate the situation by not quite handling things in the best way.  SuperNanny shows parents how to take charge but in a way that also helps them enjoy their time with their children more than they have been.

What if you tried to spend more time with them, doing activities together (and activities that would encourage everyone to just talk, laugh, and work together).  Maybe  you could just kind of "turn a page" and start a new approach, aiming to engage them for a certain amount of time each day.

After they've had some "quality time" with you they may have both learned a constructive activity to do on their own and also felt they had enjoyed their time with  you so much they "like you" a little better and want to cooperate.

It doesn't help if you're tired or they're tired, so maybe try to make sure everyone gets a good night's sleep; and if you have nap-age children aim to have them get the naps they need.

I'm just taking a few stabs in the dark.  Maybe none of what I've suggested applies to your situation.

Answer 10

I'm not a mom but I have tought children.

try to find out what makes them happy? those time which they bother  you, make them to do their fun.

Answer 11

Firstly your courage for your honesty and recognizing this problem and taking this step should be applauded- it takes a lot of guts and courage and I hope you can get some helpful suggestions from most of the contributions...

Apart from talking to a counselor about some coping strategies- or even a GP to look at hormone levels (some hormones can be responsible for irritability etc if you have too much or not enough) which by the way is nothing to be ashamed of- you are human after all! You might need some ways to relax and distract yourself from the little irritations. You have not mentioned the ages of the kids, chances are if they are young they will grow out of many of their whinging habits. Here is some suggestions-

Listen to music either in the house on the radio/cd player, you can use it as a distraction and sing along or focus on that sound or get some earphones and an ipod and carry on with daily life.

Take a time out- even parents need timeouts, count to ten, go and check the mail box, make up a little mantra or chant to remind yourself how much you love your kids and how lucky you are to have them and say your mantra to yourself 3 times, deep breath then carry on.  

All the best, stay strong. JJ xx

Answer 12

Sometimes moms need alone time to. My son has times when he has to play in a different room then myself, the bouncing all over and such is only cute for so long and you have things to do and they ask you a question every 4 min. They are just being kids. But taking time for yourself shouldn't be a guilt trip. Kids need to learn some independance, and having them play in their room or having an afternoon "quiet" time is fine. We do a "quiet" time in my house. The kids watch a movie quietly on the couch until the movie is over. They can nap if they want but the quiet time is good for everyone. I like to try and use this time to read. Just some nice piece and quiet.

It is also good to plan a day out of the house at least once every month where mom can go out with the "girls" or what ever child free. As well as a bi weekly or monthly date night with daddy.

Answer 13

Lots of parents feel that way.  Parenting is very stressful.  It's important to acknowledge your feelings and deal with them as soon as possible.  It's difficult to give advice with only a limited amount of information (such as the age of your children or whether you're a single-parent or not) but I would suggest counseling.  Now, don't panic about my suggestion because I suggest counseling for everybody!  And why not?  A counselor can help you to redirect your feelings to an appropriate outlet or help you to understand why you are impatient.  They may even suggest an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication to help.

Like I said before, it is important to deal with this now to relieve your stress level and to improve your relationship with your children.  Also, you should read up on child development to better understand what your children are feeling at their stage in their life and why they behave in certain ways.  That may help you to empathize more with their situation and, therefore, become more patient and understanding.

Answer 14

Don't feel guilty I feel the same way many days a week. My son is only 17months old but some he knows how to push buttons very well!

If I need time-out I put him in his cot and put a heap of toys and a non-leaking sippy cup and let him play while I watch tv or have a bath or something.

I will also put him in his high chair strap him in give him food and a drink and just sit on the front step - only 4 mtrs away from him but feels far enough because he isn't in sight and I can still hear if something happens.

You might need a good day away like going to get a massage and relax and have someone if possible to have the kids over night so once your day is done you can go home shower and just laze around.

Maybe have a girls night out or go stay at your parents or a friends place and go home the next day when you real ready to be a mum again.

It's completly normal to feel like this.

Don't feel guilty. The kdis do it to us, they will go in a room and close the door or go off and play and it's like their time-out.