What are your experiences with workplace bullies?

Question

I'd like to know about peoples experiences with workplace "bullies" who give you a hard time at work.

Same-level co-workers who try to give you alot of orders.

Attempts to intimidate.

Threats.

Overall negative energy.

Things like that.

Answer 1

don't let them see that it bothers you.  also, you're going to have to pay close attention to what they do BEHIND your back.  make sure they are not compromising your career.

Answer 2

Usually they will first isolate you from other co-workers by getting closer to them and by not talking with you in front of them.

The co-workers who feel that they are being loved by their boss will not support or back you up.

Then they might:

- humiliate you in front of people ( you are fat, your hair is too long etc.)

- they might try to give a feeling that you do not deserve the amount you are paid for. (they might joke about dropping salaries)

- they might under-value your duties in front of other people ( he/she is doing such an easy job that everyone else can do it)

These people have no heart. They may say every kind of lies. This is the century we are living in.

Answer 3

I was starting a new job waiting tables, and this other girl in my training class and I were supposed to be taking turns garnishing food and taking it out.  Well, she flat out refused to take any of the food out, and I was stuck doing it all friggin night.  The trainer wouldn't do anything cuz she was tight with the girl from years before.  I finally told the manager, who relieved me of my "duties."  Then, the girl just continued to be a total b**** face to me the whole time I worked there.

Answer 4

Well, I am often faced with discouraging remarks such as "you will never succeed" and "you'll never be anybody important". From my experiences, I have learned that no matter where you go and what you do, there would always be people who try to break your spirit, but those people don't win unless you let them. So instead of letting them break my spirit and quit, I turn their negativity into motivation to improve myself and be better. As a result, I get the energy to work harder, and they look ridiculous when I prove them wrong.

Answer 5

They're in just about every workplace unfortunately. I work by myself now so I no longer have to put up with them but when I did I either tried to ignore them if that worked or stand up for myself without causing a fight. I'm non-confrontational but if I'm pushed around I will hold my ground.

Answer 6

I haven't worked in over three years, and one of the main reasons is because I was bullied so badly at my last two jobs.  The very last job was the worst.  I worked in the film library of the radiology department of a hospital.  Films were being phased out and everything was going digital...it was a stressful time for the department.  I worked with two other women and we were alone in a basement...At first everything was great.  The other two were very good friends outside of work, and it looked like they wanted to include me as a friend, too.  I was warned about them from others in the department;  I was told they would befriend me then f*ck me over.  The "friendly" stage lasted for so long, though, that I thought things were going to be different for me...I was wrong.  

One of the women would take very long phone calls...she would take longer breaks than scheduled...and she started making less and less "runs" to the xray department in the building across the street.  Then she went through a phase when she would take her lunch, and then sit for the rest of the day and do nothing until she went home at 3.  I started making comments to her about it...and that's when everything turned ugly.  Both of the women started cutting me down and making snide remarks about everything I said or did, about work and my personal life.  They started talking about me horribly behind my back.  They froze me out of their conversations.  Without going into too much detail, let's just say they began making mistakes on purpose and then setting me up to take all the blame.  

Then, I got pregnant.  I was married and had a toddler son already, and this pregnancy was not going well.  I started feeling really bad right away.  I told the first one I was pregnant and wasn't feeling well but I was still going to try to do the best job I could and to please have some patience with me.  She stared at me, then said, "How do you know you're pregnant, did you pee on a stick?"  I thought that was weird, I said yes, and that I'd seen a doctor too.  She walked off and never said another word.  When the second one came in, I told her.  The second one laughed at me, then said, "YOU"RE pregnant?  Ha--well, good luck with that."  And then she stopped speaking to me as well.

Next thing I know, I'm getting called to the supervisor's office for numerous things.  I wasn't pulling my share of the work.  I was taking too long for my breaks.  I was leaving the building for lunch and not clocking out.  Lots of things...and none of them were true.  It got so bad, my supervisor tried to write me up, but I argued with her because she was just taking those other women's word...the supervisor wasn't observing this behaviour herself, so I told her I'd take it to HR.  I was miserable.

I went on leave because I was so ill.  I ended up having a second trimester miscarriage.  Before I was scheduled to come back to work, I ran into someone I trusted in the department.  Those two women were complaining that I was taking too long off and I needed to come back because they were sick of doing all the work.  I knew when I got back that those two would make my life an even bigger h**l than it was before, because they didn't give a sh*t that I had lost a baby girl--all they cared about was themselves.

I never went back, and I haven't worked for over three years.  Every time I think about going back to work somewhere, I feel anxiety and fear.  There is something about me that makes bullies pick on me, and I'm not very effective at standing up for myself.