What are your feelings on adoption?

Question

would you adopt. why or why not? do you think it's always an option or just when you cant biologically have kids.

i know how i feel, but i've been amazed at some attitudes that i've heard recently and i just wanted to see what the average reaction is/

Answer 1

i think that addoption is a really good idea if you cant have kids yourself i think that addoption is a great alternative because those kids may have really bad lives and if you can help then you should

Answer 2

I think others who adopt are good people. It's giving the kid a chance he / she would never have. But not to sound like a jerk, but I myself could never. I just know myself, and there would always be in the back of my mind that the kids wasn't mine, and therefore would be afraid of not loving it like I should. I always thought that, and when I had my first, it cemented it in me. Theres no way I could have adopted a second, after having one of my own. I feel I would always show favoritism towards my own kid.

Answer 3

I would love to adopt. Because I would love to help a child that doesn't have a home, or can't be taken care of. I'd also prefer to adopt from other countries like Africa, Asia, and 3rd world countries. I think it's always an option. Although I heard the adoption process is long and expensive.

Answer 4

I think adopting is great but if you adopt you need to tell your child.  I feel very hurt when I think of my biological mother and father and also my step brother. I feel sad that I do not know them.  I think you should tell them that they are adopted.

Answer 5

i plan to adopt at least one kid.i also plan to have my own orphanage because i cant bear to see poor kids homeless and hurting.i think all the people that have adopted will surely be blessed in one way or the other.i only hope more people try to adopt or donate things for orphans

Answer 6

my sister is adopted and i wouldn't have it any other way!!!

Answer 7

I work in a foster/adoption program, and if I was allowed, I would foster or adopt in a heartbeat.  My husband and I might or might not be able to have kids, but regardless, I would adopt.  So many of the children out there are just looking for someone to love them, and I feel that we could provide that love.  Making a difference in the life of a child, even for just a moment, is a blessing.

Answer 8

Adoption sucks.

I'd swallow a bottle of Drano before I'd adopt.

Answer 9

well im adopted....although my parents have kept that secret from me even now.

they dont know that I know that i already that im adopted.

i think its okay...

Answer 10

How is adoption wonderful when adoption is about children losing? Their mothers, their birth certificates, their names, their history...

How can you call that wonderful? How can you call that a beautiful miracle planned by God? An infant, being taken away from its mother's arms; the only thing and comfort it has ever known and going to something completely unknown to him? How is that wonderful?

Some of the attitudes you've heard recently are probably the voices of those who have lost through adoption. Listen to them. Adoption can be a good last resort, but only if you do it right. And how better to do it right than to listen to those who have had wrong done unto them?

EDIT: Summer- I hope when you have biological children you tell them every single day; "Now, what are you thankful for?" and have them respond "That you haven't abandoned me and thrown me out, and of course, that you didn't abort me. Thank you!"

Answer 11

I have 3 children "of my own"....1 is adopted and 2 are biological.....but all 3 are my own.  I just wanted to clarify that.  : )

Obviously I feel adoption is a great thing.  However, I feel that if the birth mom can in any way and WANTS to keep her child, she should be helped out in all ways possible to be encouraged and assisted to keep her family intact.  

I love my adopted son with all my heart.  But as much as I love him, I know his biological mother must have been tormented to give him up when he was already two years old.  I can't even imagine her circumstances.  

On the other hand, because my son was already 2 years old and the international adoption process usually takes at least a year....we knew that our son did not have a good chance of ever getting another family.  His future would most likely end up growing up in an overcrowded orphanage in Guatemala.  

That being said, I have absolutely no regrets in adopting him.  The best option for him (to stay with his biological mom) was not possible anymore.  Therefore, we did what was next best for him....we brought him home with us.

Answer 12

I think adoption can be an option regardless if the couple / person can have a natural child.  There are so many children in this world that need a loving home and family.  I hope to be able to one day adopt regardless if i can have natural kids.

Adoption is fine  as long as it’s done legally. People wanting to adopt should read opinions of a number of adoptees good and bad, that way they can deal with whatever part of the spectrum their adopted child(ren)  landed on. They should also be truthfully with their adopted child, and share any information the child asks for if appropriate for their age.

Answer 13

U think that it makes a inpact on kids. There are all ready sooo many children in the world that need homes.And I think it would be cool to make that impact. Now i also think that u can adopt even if u can have ur own. Like  u can have 2 kids of ur own, and adopt one that way ur getting whatu want and u also make an impact upon a kid in need.

Answer 14

I'm with your husband.

Adoption is weird.

You talk one women into giving up her child - and handing it over to a family of complete strangers!!

Think about it - would you hand your own child over - or if something happened to you and your husband - would you put in your will that you wanted your child adopted out to strangers - or would you prefer to have your child cared for by family???

If adoption HAS to happen - then the child should be able to keep his/her name (in some form) and know and have contact (if possible) with the family that they came from.

The child's identity should also NOT be sealed away forever - so that the child can never find out who they are.

Adoption should be about making the child's family bigger - not about taking away everything that belongs to the child - just  for the needs of adults.

There are literally thousands of children in foster care - they all need a loving family to care for them.

But - adoption - as it stands - changing a child's identity - and the child's entire world - just so another family can have a child 'of their own' - I think is very very weird.

It's fine that you think that your adoption was great - but if YOU don't go into adoption with an open mind and open heart - to all possible feelings that the child could have - then you're certainly not going to be a good parent to that adoptee.

Answer 15

i have a child of my own, and i would love to adopt.. my brother and his wife want to have kids of their own as well, and adopt.. there are so many kids out there that need families.. and it's such a blessing to  help them..

Answer 16

personally i wouldnt adopt, i want my own children. but i think its fantastic, if a girl in the wrong situation to have a child becomes pregnant it means she can rest assured that her child is safe and happy, and it gives couples who long for children, but cant concieve the baby they want.

Answer 17

I have always thought about adopting. I hope to have 2 children of my own and then possibly adopt a child.

Answer 18

my wife and I have thought about it. she wants to carry a child if at all possible.

Answer 19

My husband and I are in the process to adopt a newborn right now (we've waited 10 months so far).  We hope to adopt 3 children total within the next 10 years.

Answer 20

I think adoption is terrific for couples who cannot have children.

Answer 21

My wife and I have two adopted children (adults now) so maybe I'm not the person you want to hear from, but let me say it's the greatest opportunity to have, and share life with.

Everyone has their reasons for not bringing a child into their home that isn't biologically theirs, but they will never know what a great gift it is when you do, to be called Dad, PaPa by that child. In trying to have a child, it is in the act that one is created, so why is it so hard that if that great love to create doesn't take place, that love can't be shared with a child that wasn't created by your love but that of another.

On the Dr. Phil show last night there was alot of talk about the ladies unable to have children for one reason or another, but not once was the subject of adoptions brought up. It was so strong with one lady to have a child that she was ready to use a credit card to obtain the medical services needed to find a process to have a child, because the husband didn't want to spent anymore money with tests. My thought was the Lord gives to those who can give love of themselves, in this case that love for anyone that wasn't of their making wasn't someone they could love.

Answer 22

I had always wanted to adopt - even before meeting my husband.  My "plan" was to adopt a child as well as to have a biological child.  However, God's plan was much different for us once we were married.  We were unable to have children so adoption of course was the only way we could start a "family".  We chose adoption for what some would consider selfish reasons - we wanted a family - but we also chose it because we felt that there were children out there who needed homes.  Whether right or wrong in the reason we chose to adopt, we love our son dearly and would do anything to make him happy, including helping to search for his first parents when the time comes.

Answer 23

I think adoption is wonderful.  There are so many of hundreds of children who just want a chance at a decent future free from the system and in a loving home where they will be cared for.

I am in the process of adopting my two step sons now.  They came to live full time with my husband and I approximately 3 years ago.  For the first four years (and prior to my meeting my husband) their mother moved from place to place and neglected the boys.  They didnt have proper nutrition, werent medically cared for, and were alone for most of their days.  My husband and I spent so much time looking for them, as she was always one step ahead of us, and we couldnt find them.  We finally got in touch with them when the cps took them from her after a neighbor reported her for the neglect and their condition.

My husband had to fight the courts for custody of them, so that they wouldnt grow up in foster care.  My husband is one of the only dads I know, who recieved custody of his children.  Men with custody is rising, but is still few and far between.  

We contacted the mother (after we found her again), and told her that she needed to be a part of her sons lives.  To my astonishment.... she said no.  "Im living my life for me now, and I dont want to be a parent any more."  

That was 3 years ago.  The boys still have great contact with their birth moms family (grandma, aunts, and cousins), and I have them over to my house often.  In fact, we are celebrating christmas with their birthmoms grandma this year.  I never want them to loose contact with their bio family.  

Im adopting them for several reasons.  One, because I love them.  They are awesome boys (now 14 and 12).  Also, because I want to be rest assured that if anything (GOD FORBID) ever happens to my husband, I will always be able to be with them.  Hope that makes sense.  

That said....(and sorry it was so long winded),

I have 2 biological girls (from my first marriage),  

2 biological kids (a boy and a girl) with my husband,

and

One fully adopted little miracle.  

Our  miracle came from a family member.  It was a unwanted pregnancy, and the mother tried to get a abortion (she was two weeks too late).  She was upset and didnt want to keep him.  My husband and I wanted him to stay in the family.  So, we did the paperwork through a lawyer, and we kept him

the more the merrier, right?

We love kids, we dont live rich, but we live comfortable.  We didnt do adoption for the money, but for the love.  

The love of the child that was unwanted, and was almost aborted.  

Im adopting my step sons also out of love.  I couldnt imagine my life without them.

All of our children are brothers and sisters.  It doesnt matter where you came from, what body you were birthed from, nor what nationality you are.  Its a family thing.

Answer 24

Adoption is weird and twisted and sick. Giving a child as a loving gift is an awful procedure and has no place in a normal existence.

People are often eager to adopt because they buy into the tall tales being told by adoption agencies. Infants are a hot commodity and are indeed hard to find. The kids who really need the homes are older and considered "unadoptable" by most. People think that there are all these poor babies laying around needing homes. If that were true there would be no need for people to troll the internet for an infant, this is seen time and time again right here!!! When someone is actually wanting to help out some poor "orphan" they should be looking to older children already in the foster system. When they adopt these kids they should allow the child to retain some sense of who they are, thier name or contact with their natural family for instance.

Until we all accept that infant adoption shouldn't be socially acceptable people will continue to think that adoption is such a wonderful thing.

Go back and look through the posts written by actual adult adoptees and tell me that adoption is the grand plan it is made out to be. Tell me who is gaining and who is losing out here?

Answer 25

I love children, always have and always will. Of course i would want to have children of my own, but i would really really like to adopt. Of course it is easier if you adopt a baby, but i would really like to adopt an older child. They need as much love and care as very one else. A few weeks ago i coworker showed me a picture of the cutest 12 year old boy that needed a home, my heart broke in two pieces. First thing i did was call my mother to see if my parents would be willing to adopt him, but they said no because older kids are so much harder to keep an eye on and always have anger problems, which is true because when you get older you can feel much more rejected and neglected. But  again to the subject adoption is a wonderful thing, just think your taking someone into your home and making me feel loved and what more can you ask for but to see a young boy/girl smile and having them love you as much as you love them!!

Answer 26

I would and am!  Yes, I believe that it is always an option.  I have seen people do it for the money...where I live, their expectations of "a lot of money" must have been disoriented when they were learning the value of a dollar...because we get next to nothing for our children.  Which is NOT why we do it!  We do it for all the coloring pages / hugs / you make the bestest dinners in the whole world (chicken nugget and french fry night).

I have children from a previous marriage and from unforeseen circumstances can't have anymore!  My husband is a wonderful man and he makes the best "other daddy" in the whole world.  Our kids (all) love him dearly and he is just a kid at heart / listener / adviser / all around great guy!

When asked why we wanted to foster / adopt children...my answer was "to give my hubby someone to play with"!  We got a standing ovation in our PRIDE classes!

Answer 27

If it were not for the adopton option............I never would have been able to experience motherhood. I cannot imagine missing that joy in life.

Answer 28

I think adoption is a beautiful thing, but it certainly isn't for everyone.

While most people turn to adoption as a last resort when they can't have biological children, I hope to adopt one day in addition to having biological children. I love the idea of bringing a child into our lives and giving him something he wouldn't have otherwise had- a loving family.

This isn't always a popular idea. Some families are reluctant to accept a child without their genetic material, especially if the child is of a different race or religion. Some may believe "if you can't have kids, maybe you weren't supppsed to". Some fear bringing an adopted child into the family is asking for trouble--especially if the child isn't a baby when adopted, and has suffered psychological trauma of some sort (my opinion is these kids need homes just as much if not more than the others). My mother thinks adoption is just an effort to "save the world", but it's not that at all...it's about the child, and the experience and love they bring to the rest of the family. And I look forward to that :)

Answer 29

Sure I'd adopt.  I don't think fertility has anything to do with it.  One thing I hate though is how the media and some people make adoptive parents out to look like a saint, or savior.  Most people adopt because they want to have a child, not because they want to save a child's life or anything like that.  I really dislike it when people act like adopting a child is a nice thing to do.

Answer 30

I know that if I couldn't have kids of my own that I would definitely adopt.

But, seeing as though I can have kids of my own I'm not sure what I would do. I know I at least want 1 biological child..after that, I'm not sure what would happen. I guess if we felt led to adopt and we had the money I would do it.

Answer 31

i think adoption is one of the best and selfless things a person could do for another human being.

i would LOVE to adopt even if i could have my own kids. i would do both if i could!!