What are your funniest jokes??

Question

put down the funniest joke you have ever heard!! haha

Answer 1

Me

I look in da mirror each day >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

No wonder I just can't stop laffin'

Answer 2

two guys walk into a bar.. lol get it? a bar haha

Answer 3

Q=what does a 12v battery and a chicks a*****e got in common?

A= you know its wrong but your tongues going to end up there one day.

Answer 4

Have you seen the movie constipated yet?

(No)

It hasnt come out !

Answer 5

I have the :cabbage :disease::the stalk won't hold the head up

Answer 6

mr and mrs blobby are in bed. mrs blobby says ' blib blob bobble blub bibbly bob blubbly blib!'

mr blobby says 'just f***ing swallow it!

lol

Answer 7

John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain.

When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock. Smith, afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat.

"How did you like that jump, buddy?" said a proud John to a deck hand.

"It was great," said the sailor. "But why didn't you wait? We were just pulling in!"

Answer 8

A blonde finds herself in serious trouble.

Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's desperate so she decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray... 'God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery.' Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.

She again prays... 'God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.' Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.

Once again, she prays... 'My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in

order.'

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself....

'Sweetheart, work with Me on this.... Buy a ticket.'

x*x