What are your opinions of adoption within the family?

Question

Like if an aunt adopts her neice at birth?

Answer 1

My granparents adopted me when I was 21 months old. My father, their son, had been killed in a car wreck and my birth mother was not capable of raising a child.

I had no memory of either of my birth parents and my grandparents never told me I was adopted. In fact they refered to their son who was killed as my brother.

When I was 9 I found out by accident that he was really my father (talk about messing w/ your head). I had never been told he had been married and since he was 23 when he died I assumed he had been single.

Now that I am an adult and have met my birth mother and sorted out all of my feelings, I am glad I was kept in the family. At least I knew my family history and had people who looked like me around. It also made finding my birth motehr easier as my adoptive parents knew her name and where her family was from.

If someone in your family is considering an adopting within the family, there needs to be some rules before hand, such as will the birth mom have contact witht he child? If so how much? Will the child know who it's birth mother is (I personally highly reccomend that the child know).

Good luck with your situation.

Answer 2

if it is because the biological parents are no good. then why would that be wrong? actuallly... why would any adoption be wrong if the poor child was parentless and needed a loving family.

Answer 3

I dont see anything wrong with that at all.

Answer 4

It is totally alright to adopt withing the family.   Just be truthful with the child from the very start.   Never lie or make up stories because one day they will come back to haunt you.  There is always someone out there who will eventually tell what you might have been trying to keep secret.   Truth is always better.

Answer 5

I think Adoption Is a brilliant thing! Every child should have a chance after the loss or unwantedness from the parents. but if your thinking of putting a child up for adoption. this is wrong that is the last thing that you would want to happen. you will regret it and it will stay in your head for a long time. you'll think did i do the right thing?. The thing is you need to think of there safety you dont know what family they will end up with!

But if you are thinking of adopting i think it's a great idea! but remember, can you afford it? Are you gonna help this child through there teenage years?

Answer 6

I think its great if the mother can handle seeing the child be raised by someone else and not get jelous or try to interfere with the way the other is parenting the child. That way the mother would know her child is being taken care of and can still see it grow up without the responsibiltiy of parenthood.

Answer 7

I personally think its a fantastic idea, what better person than a capable and trustworthy member of the family, who will have the childs best interest at heart. There is always a reason why someone has to be adopted - social facttors. But whatever the reason ther are too many children in this world who did not ask to be born but are here and is suffering. If you can give one child the chance to experience love and stability within a unit - this will no doubt help them to grow up to be productive citizens in society.

Answer 8

yes i was a neice that was adopted by my great aunt and uncle. well it was good for me but the ones that hurted was the adopted mom which is no relation to me not blood just there and that is now being paid for by me. my bio uncle is gone and shes in 80's and shes alot meaner now. she was the perfect mom for years and now its sad. but i know she cannot help it

Answer 9

It's a very good idea to keep the child in the family.  Explanations about relatives, family illnesses, and genealogy are much easier to give the child.  I know this is true I adopted a relative and it has worked out well.  To say we are one big happy family is stretching it but, we do all get along and my daughter knows her family history.

Answer 10

I think it is wonderful, but you need 100% honesty.

It may be hard for the child if it is kept a family secret and comes out later in life.

Answer 11

That all depends on the situation. For a child to be eligible for adoption that early, normally the situation calls for it. I've seen situations where a family member has adopted a child and alienated the biological parent, and it's gone really bad. On the upside, I've also seen a child raised in a great situation with a more dependable/stable relative and still have the opportunity to be close to the natural mother. Then, I've seen both of those situations have opposite outcomes. Personality of the biological parents and the adoptive parent play a big role in that because people tend to react differently after the finality of adoption sets in. It's definitely a case by case type of thing, and it can absolutely wonderful or absolutely wretched.  I personally like to think there's a good reason for it when it goes that way, but sometimes my optimism gets me in trouble.

Answer 12

Other than being very truthful with the child, it is a fine idea......if you are planning on trying to hide it from the kid....there are TONS of horror stories out there for when the child finds out!!

Answer 13

Would rather the anut nurture and care for the baby's mother; her own sister?  Unless the sister is dangerous for self or others, she should be supported in her motherhood. If she is addicted, supervise and support her detox...explore all options in attempting to keep this sacred dyad intact. If she is meantally ill, supervise and help her find treatment but support her as she gets well.

If She is TOTALLY inncable of parenting (a very small minority of first moms are truly "incapable "of mothering.) Then, yes in-family adoptions are slightly better than stranger adoptions, because mirroring can more easily occuar, and grieving for lost family member is more likely accomplished in a healthy way. I can think of very few circumstances dire enough to merit separation of mother and baby at birth.

Answer 14

My parents addopted my cousin after my aunt was killed in a car accident. my uncle was fire fighter in 9-11. best thing for these kids since we were always in physical touch ( living in the same neighbor hood. )

Adoption with in the family is best for the child since a new family can confuse or even mentally scar the child for life or for a long time.

Answer 15

I wouldn't do it.   It would be too hard to watch someone else raise my child.

Answer 16

I think its wonderful. The child would still get to know her real family, and possilby her mom. But if the mom is going to be in her life, I would make it clear that you're the mother figure now and you set the rules.

Answer 17

Well, my mother took in my cousin when he was 2. (His mother has a total of 5 kids not including one she lost to SIDS and does not take care of any of them) My aunt signed the papers to give my mom full custody since she was supposed to go to jail (She's been in and out several times since then). He's 7 now and was recently diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and is not allowed to see his biological mother or my grandmother by doctor's orders. So, in cases like the one I have experience in family adoption is better than letting the child stay with their biological parent.

Answer 18

It's just likely someday the original mother may blurt it out or something. I mean to say what if the child grows to be not very smart or something and you are blamed. You may even be blamed for chiding her. But these are just nothing before the amount of happiness the family will enjoy as a whole.

Answer 19

Thats normal... My mom adopted my cuzin when my aunt died.

Answer 20

Anytime a child is adopted it is a wonderful thing.  In most curcumstances there is someone within the family that is willing to take the child in order to keep them within the family.  There is nothing wrong with adopting a child within a family it is looked at the same way if you adopt a child that you know nothing about.

Answer 21

I think, in the long run, it is better for the child to remain within the family IF THEY ARE WANTED!  Some people do this just because they feel as if it is their duty and treat the child like a disease to be dealt with.

Answer 22

In my opinion it's the second best to living with mom and dad, this way they know their history and can feel less empty.

Answer 23

honey if she is more suitable than the mother and can love/give the baby a better life than that is acceptable. good thing the baby stays in the family.

Answer 24

I think any type of adoption is wonderful, if it can be kept in a family, thats even better...

Answer 25

It can be really hard but it can be done.  My step-sister adopted her 2 year old nephew over a year ago and all is going great for them so far.  But it works well for them partially because her sister, the birth mom, stays out of the picture so far.  Emotionally it is hard for the birth mom to deal with.  The rest of the family is very supportive and the child is doing so much better now.  We all know that it is the best for the child to be where he is now.  Good luck to all of you on this decision I know tha t*t is going to be hard but if you keep the child's best interest in mind all will be fine.